Ask Keri: What was the “high price”?

From Tumblr, an anonymous person asked: “Hi! New reader and I am lost/confused about the shells that have been mentioned, and the “high price” that was paid for them. What was the price?”

The reason why I wasn’t supposed to have them, and what I had to do to redeem myself for having them placed in my possession is scattered across too many posts with too much backstory to sift through. It’s too early for a link-bomb so here’s the gist of it.

The use of cowrie shells for Ifá divination is linked to various African Diasporic Traditions (ADT), and to various traditions still practiced on the African continent today. All of the Ifá methods are closed practices. You must be an initiate of the tradition to cast and interpret them, and even then, there are certain other requirements that must be met.

I am acquainted with various ADT entities, but I am not initiated into any of the traditions that honor them. I’m an Outsider, and with bastard blood at that. I will never be initiated into those traditions. Some entities allow me to tread on the outskirts of their “territory”, but at a price. Certain things are forbidden to me. Certain obligations, unique to me, must be met. I was explicitly forbidden to possess cowrie shells, not even as decoration.

I was in a relationship during this time. My partner was told of this. I often made reference to cowrie shells in my writings and speech, as a symbol that I am not entitled to everything I want. I have limits. It became a running joke. He would offer to purchase some for me. I would remind him of the law pronounced on me. We’d laugh and continue on. The relationship came to an end. My public writings did not.

One day, the topic came up again in my public writings. I had been having dreams/visions of them again. I made mention of such, noted what they could symbolically mean, and proceeded with no fucks. I came outside the next day to find my ex had placed a small bundle of something under my car’s windshield wiper.

The moment I picked up the bundle, I was condemned, even though I did not know what was inside. I was not to have them in my possession. At all. Taboo.

When I opened the bag and saw the fourteen cowrie shells, I mourned. There are many gods, entities, and Powers that I will go head-to-head with chaotic glee, but there are some that I will bow to in respect, and a few I will genuflect to in mortal fear. No way around it, I was fucked.

Publicly, it looks like entity let me off the hook with a slap on the wrist. After all, it’s not like I intentionally went out to obtain them. I didn’t tell my ex to bring me any. I made it clear to one and all that I wasn’t supposed to have them, or even hold them. I was tested by another of his pantheon, and found righteous (in this matter). I had to undergo a purging of the condemnation on my soul and be restored by him. He later gave me permission to keep those specific shells, but at a price of being forbidden to use them according to ADT divination traditions. I have to come up with my own methods. Not too bad. Right?

But the cowrie shells were also the last straw that opened my eyes to my ex’s behavior towards me. I called him out as a stalker, a manipulator, and an abuser. It wasn’t enough to just “Name and Shame”, I had to destroy all bridges between us if I was going to be safe. I cut away a piece of myself doing so. It’s been nearly five months, and that wound is still raw.

Fourteen cowrie shells shattered my naivete and self-delusions about myself, and the person I had trusted. As far as I’m concerned, those shells are carved from my bones and soaked in my blood. I paid a high price for them. Never shall they depart from me.

Source link: http://threedifferentways.tumblr.com/post/51075738486/hi-new-reader-and-i-am-lost-confused-about-the-shells


Posted

in

by