Another frantic day at work. Another day where the shoal sigil took care of itself for me.
Feedback regarding support at work came to me in yet another new and novel method. The director of landscaping asked to speak with me for a few minutes.
“You’ve been going on exercise walks at lunch, right? Well, my guys have been watching you.”
Dirty hands and dirty mouths, right? I thought I knew what he was going to say.
“A lot of them don’t speak English, so they asked me to pass on a message to you. They said that you look good out there, not in a sexy, baby-baby way, but in that you’re obviously working on yourself. They said to make sure you know that if you’re ever in trouble or distress, you can flag them down regardless of language. And they said you should be carrying water with you, but they always have water with them if you need any.”
He was clearly enjoying the surprised look on my face.
“Listen, they told me that you wave at them every morning when you come into work, and that you slow down when they’re working in the medians. That’s huge. You know how the residents here look at them, and the bullshit on the TV right now. Because you’re black, many of them expected you to be just as stuck up and shitty as the residents. Oh yea, I know about that divide. But you’re not. And they came to me as a block of men this morning to ask me to pass this message on to you.”
He leaned forward and counted his sentences off his fingers. “You are not alone. You have help when you want it. And keep going, you look good.”
The landscaping director is not one for bullshit stories or demoralizing pranks. He has been open and even with me from the day I started working here. He doesn’t play the political game and while his reputation sometimes suffers for it, his results always justifies his reticence.
I didn’t believe him just the same. “They said that, huh.”
“Yea.”
“And you’re taking five minutes to actually run the message.”
“Yea!”
“Why?”
He leaned back in the chair and crossed his legs. “Because I think you need to hear it. Lately, I’ve heard so much shit from residents and even a few employees here about you, and it’s all so undeserved. It’s not fair that people are trying to destroy you because they can’t use you. You need some honest input right now, and I agree with them. So keep going, you look good. And not just on the pavement, either.”
He winked at me in a big brother way and shot airguns at me before leaving. I didn’t see an overlay of the shoal sigil this time, but I could feel its presence in the same way I could feel warmth from a mug of tea without touching it.
I drew the shoal sigil in a gesture of accepting the compliments and the chastisement.
It wasn’t just that there was help available if I wanted it. Their message also included a directive for me to help myself. Sometimes it takes carrying more than water to get through the day.