This afternoon I “fell into the pit”. Instead of allowing my darkening thoughts to spiral me into further depression, I used Twitter as an escape vent and directed the self-hatred there. I surprised myself with being able to rhyme so neatly on my feet. Continue reading “The Mirror”
I’ve noticed a trend here. All my dreams start with me waking up from sleeping!
“Corporal! Corporal! What do we do?” Fuck, I was supposed to be sleeping. Why is this private pulling on my sleeve? And where is the sergeant?
“Corporal! We’re under attack!” Okay, I’m awake now. I sit up fully in my chair and glance at the clock. Another two hours before my shift begins.
“Where is the Sergeant?” I’m trying to get my bearings, trying to shake off the fog of sleep and remember what I should do. I leave the chair and get my helmet. “Well, where is he? That bastard better not be shagging another punk bitch!”
Continue reading “Dream: A Turn of Events”
“Yes, I heard about the new blog at Patheos with black Pagans. Excuse me, I have an insecurity to cover up.”
@Philosarific, asked me (tongue-in-cheek) what was I wearing in response to that tweet. He probably has no idea the emotional cave-in that resulted from such a tiny tap. “I’m tripping over my shame again, aren’t I.”, was my reply. Continue reading “Rant: Black Enough?”
I know this blog (and the series of Facebook Notes it replaced) was started up with a focus on dreams. But here I am, over a year after I started writing and sharing them, and things have changed.
My magic, my faith, and my focus has changed. Continue reading “Diary: It’s About Time”
The iris of the Eye of Horus is colors, flashing colors, and the inverse of colors. The pupil of the Eye of Horus is always the inverse of the iris.
I look upon it and the splendor forces me to look away let I am destroyed by the gaze. I look upon it again with my eyes, and again the splendor forces my eyes to the ground. I leave my eyes behind, and can look upon the Eye of Horus clearly. Once I leave my blinded eyes behind, I see my Eye is Blue.
Continue reading “I, Eye”
Would you believe I have a hard time keeping a magical diary? I found I had so little to write about. Me, not having anything to write. Heh. That may change in the near future.
Earlier this morning, I had the sudden vision of a yoni in the shape of a vesica. Don’t ask me how I knew it was a yoni, I just knew. The sight was overwhelming and it triggered a short lasting fit. I promptly forgot all about it.
Several hours later, feeling “not quite here”, I found myself having another fit and decided to lay down and sleep it off.
Laying down, I used a mental image of the seal’s framework to have something to focus on while getting the rest of my mind to shut the fuck up and take a quick nap. The image suddenly flashed with brilliant colors and I lost all sensation of being connected to my physical self. Neither awake, nor asleep, I surrendered to the hypnagogic state and released myself to whatever mysteries unfolded.
My dear companion, open your eyes. Come see, come see, we are near our destination.
Yes, I have stopped the camels. Yes, it is before the dawn. Yes, the air is cold. But now is the time to see.
Here, wear my robe. I feel no chill. Here, wear my sandals. I would walk on air for this.
Leave my body behind.
Let my ka roam free.
For the chance to see.
Continue reading “Dream: To See”
The ride to the cathedral was uneventful. I had dozed off and awoke only when the gentle rhythms of the freeway was replaced by the jerks of the unmaintained road. My friend’s face was very grim. His jaw set as tight as his fists on the leather wrapped steering wheel. It was bothering him that I was coming along. I remember he had spoken his concern before we set off.
“Can’t you just give me the items and I’ll use them? I don’t want to sacrifice you to save my brother.” Continue reading “Dream: The Apostate”