“Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?” The question pulled my attention to the attendant placing themselves in my field of view. I should be concerned that the attendant wore a white featureless mask over their face. I should be more concerned when I realized that wasn’t a mask at all, but that their bone ceramic face had no features. I would have been at least, if I was awake.
Instead, I was thankful for their intrusion as I gained lucidity. I don’t know where my thoughts were headed before they discreetly touched my hand, but now my thoughts were reunited with my awareness and I felt safe and comfortable.
“Ah, no, thank you.” Their hooded robe gleamed brilliantly in crimson red as I took their hand. The more attention I gave the attendant, the more the attendant stood out from the shadows. I clasped their hand in gratitude for the assistance even though I knew the attendant had not done anything special or unique from their duties. “But you can catch me up to what’s happening now. I think I missed an instruction.”
Continue reading “Dream Journal: 2019-05-12.01”
I was in the Anglican church again. Neutral ground between me and El as our drama had unfurled in a definitively American context. He manifested as a source of brilliant golden white light with no edges. I turned away to face the door not in fear, but in respect to the master of the house I was in.
But I did not leave. Continue reading “Dream Journal: 2017-04-06.01”
Is it out of line to throw a temper tantrum in front of a god, to a god? Just asking, in case someone other than me gives a fuck.
So that monotheist demiurge is a-courting me again, and I lost all measure of decorum.
The summary of my screams thesis is plain: At a crucial moment when all I needed to show was faith, that faith was discarded as not enough. Continue reading “Dream Journal: 2016-02-20.01”
“Madam, is there a problem?” The black robed man hurried down the aisle to me. His face betrayed panic when he recognized who I am.
“I’ve never been in an Anglican Church. I do not know the proper gestures to make before taking a seat.”
The man blinked several times as he processed my statement. “Well. Um. A curtsy to acknowledge that God is Lord of this place would suffice for now.” He took a step back in instinct as he watched my involuntary bracing.
“Hmm.” I remained standing. I have been in many churches since my apostasy. The land and the men have never given me problems. The angels, however…
Continue reading “Dream Journal: 2013-12-16.02”