A picture is worth a thousand words? So what does this say?
I was in the dverg’s chamber again. It is really a chamber he had made for me, a gift of sorts. He had first brought me here when he taught me a healing sleep during a migraine. He calls it my chamber, I call it his chamber.
Laying on the dirt bed, I was shivering in heat. I wasn’t sick in the Waking, I couldn’t understand why I felt feverish here. I felt something like lace on my hands and feet. I tried to shake them off, but they didn’t move. I heard a familiar voice but it sounded from so far away. I tasted the acrid sting of magic in the air.
Panicking I try to kick off the lace from my feet. Pushing against the dirt bed, I manage to bolt upright before a small and cold hand pushes back on my chest. I tried to look around, but something was wrong with my eyes. I couldn’t see.
Been sitting on this all day. A long day to wait. A short writeup to hammer out. A good beer to assuage my self with.
As the dream starts, I have everything under control. Every. Thing. My job, my coworkers, my family, my peers, my servitors, the spirits that speak to me in dreams, everything. At first, all appears to be going precisely the way I want it to be.
As I look around, I see my level of control represented by ethereal leashes connecting me to those around me. Is my sister being too demanding of me? Verbally, I tell her to back off. In the aether, I see me giving her leash a short controlling jerk. I am amused by the representation, and allow it to feed my ego.
I make the decision to leave the repetitious habits and haunts and find new things to get in trouble with. To do so, I must break away from those that currently serve me. I summon forth the representative leashes and try to drop them all.
But I’m caught fast. The leashes are attached to my hands.
As I try to live my days, trying to change from the pattern of behaviours I had engaged in before, I find a horrible truth. Those around me had become so accustomed to my behaviour, they would not allow me to behave differently than I had before. I had carved out a role in their life, and by hell, I would continue to play that role.
Instead of controlling the myriad factors of my life, I am now being controlled by those same factors.
The very leash I used to control others was now controlling me.
My last thought in the Dreaming, was crying out in anguish from being bound by my own hubris. The various forces of my life jerking hard upon the leash, driving me to live by their desires.
The sun was not gentle upon my eyes. The sheet was wrapped tight around neck and arms. It served to punctuate the distressing dream I was wrenched from.
Lesson of the day: “The same leash you use to control others can control you as well.”
I knew I was asleep the moment I opened my eyes in the darkness. I did not go gently into the Dreaming, it was quite the tumultuous ride. I was wary but did not feel I could force myself awake right away. I knew I had to wait it out. The floor beneath me was solid darkness. I was illuminated by a spotlight overhead, but the source itself was beyond my vision. Outside of the cone of light, was impenetrable darkness.
I was dressed in the same clothes I had laid down in. A voice out of the darkness complimented my choice of fabrics. A tall, thin man stepped forward. At first he seemed quite familiar. I was relieved to not be alone. But the more he spoke to me, the more I questioned who he was. He was dressed to resemble a person I often encounter in Dreaming. He had the right tone of voice, manner of dress, physical appearance. So why was I refusing to allow him to touch me?
(This vision was experienced October 2007. It has remained with me to this day and has been a pivotal event. How greatly different would my life had been, if I chose not to open Door #1.)
Long live lazy Saturday afternoons! And what a delightful afternoon this particular one was. Partly cloudy, cool, quiet. My window open to allow the autumn chill to play with the light blanket. Mmmm. I’m so damn lazy right now, even thinking about how lazy I am is too much work.
Neither sleep nor awake. I’m aware but not active. I don’t want to get up, but my mind is starting to turn restlessly. Too bad I don’t have a boyfriend to distract me. Oh, there is a distraction! One delightful daydream, coming up!
It starts out, as all horror/disaster movies do, on a very nice day. My (real) parents, my (real) daughter, and I were enjoying a lazy Saturday doing absolutely nothing. Napping lightly in my bed, the house shakes with a steady, low rumble. Living in earthquake territory in real life, such a low shaking is not even worthy of adjusting the pillow. The four of us quip back and forth to each other about the so-called quake. Continue reading “Dream: Volcano Part 1 of 2”
I found myself walking in the Dreaming last night. (One day, I’ll settle on my terminology.) I was walking through a forest, tracking something. Silly me, I didn’t pay attention to the tracks I thought I was following, nor to my surroundings. The trees were talking to me as I passed them, each tree -speaking- a word of a sentence, the complete sentence played out as I passed the stands. Like the whole forest was speaking. Continue reading “Dream: Bear, Oh My!”
I have no headphones on. No music is playing in the background. The room is silent, yet I hear drumming. I recognize the drum beats to be from one of the New Age albums I had been listening to lately, loosely based on Native American songs. Content to let the drumming continue on from memory, I relax into it, floating in that pleasant, drifting way. Continue reading “Dream: The Drum Called”