Fucking marshes and fucking clinging mud and fucking sticky damp stuff on these fucking trees that have never seen a dry day in their centuries! It’s so damn humid, I need scuba gear to keep from drowning and my head is above water! I think. Lemme check. Where is the ground anyway? If I stand long enough, I start sinking. The water table is two millimeters below the visible surface of the marsh, I’m sure. All these reeds aren’t helping. I can’t tell if I’m walking oversoaked earth or waterlogged debris!
I’m going to come out of this covered in algae like a sloth, I’m sure!
I hear a splash and turn to see a tall wave bearing down on me. I can’t get out the way fast enough and I’m drenched in the greenish brown mud. It smells like an abandoned pool, and is teeming with mosquito larvae. I am now officially in a very bitchy mood. Next person to fuck with me is going to have their ass set on fire, I swear it.
“Ha! You’re all wet!” Oh look, a volunteer!
I turn soggily to face the heckler. I could barely distinguish him from the algae covered swamp beast he was riding. He was covered in a cloak made from matted moss and dripping wet.
“You’re not exactly dry yourself. Got jealous and needed to share the stank?” I noted how very wet everything was. Too wet. So much water was present, I could barely detect any earth. I tried heating myself up to dry off and found the algae that covered me was soaking up the excess heat as fast as I could produce it. It grew and clung thickly to me.
“See you found out why already. There’s a bounty on your head, Weaver Flameheart. And I aim to collect it. Can’t fight fire with fire, not your kind. But water holds a lot of energy, don’t you know. And there is more water around you than you could ever boil off even with your rages. Now, be a good girl, and die peacefully. I won’t abuse you, before or after. I’m not like that.”
While giving him stinkeye, I raised a hand and clenched it into a fist. As I did, I called flame to it. As he said, the greater the flame I tried to summon, the greater grew the algae I was covered with. The air was permeated with humidity and spores. What I did managed to burn and kill was quickly replaced.
He pulled a machete out from under his cloak. “I figure a swift beheading would take care of things. The swamp will take what I leave of you so no one else can desecrate what’s left. Just hold still now, and it won’t hurt as much.”
“Well, damn. You got me good. Even if I were to burst into wing and flame, you got me to rights. But, um… I’m not a fucking Pokémon.” My grin was the inverse of his frowning. He had started to slide off his beast but stopped. “I’m not a fire-type construct that can be overwhelmed by spit.” The mud around my ankles liquified and started swirling as a new current turned in the swamp. “I am whatever I need to be as the situation calls. And this situation calls for control, so I will be… in… control.” I spread my hands and the waters rose in churning columns behind me.
As I called the waters of the swamp to attention, they flowed not only from the saturated ground around me, but from the pervasive algae itself. The green sticky covering on the trees turned brown as they dried out. The beast fell first to its knees, then prone on the ground as it entered a forced hibernation. And still the water columns behind me grew.
My would be assailant’s cloak died and fell off of him with every move he made until all he had external to himself was his machete. He lunged forward, meaning to do any kind of slicing damage. A beam of water blocked him. He sliced through the water with the steel. His forward motion was blocked when his body collided with the beam.
“The human body is 60% water. You are taking on a human form here. Guess what. That makes you my bitch.” At my gesture, his hand opened. The machete fell into the swamp and was greedily claimed by the much. Another gesture from me and he stumbles roughly towards me before kneeling in a forced submissive posture. He gurgled as he tried to speak.
“I’m sure you’re wondering how I managed to wrest control of the swamp away from you so easily. I will tell you my secret, since you were so kind as to assure me with honesty I would not be defiled if I were to fall to you. You demanded. I asked. That simple. Now then, I will forgive the soiling of my clothes, because if I were restricted to only elemental fire for attack and defense, you did the right thing. And I will forgive the seeking of the bounty on my head, because I’m no innocent myself. Your weapon lies in the muck directly under you. You will remain here, until I have left the swamp and my control over the area is released. If there are any that would delay my departure, and perhaps take advantage of your sudden vulnerability, do tell me now. This is a private engagement, and I’ll tolerate no intruders to our intimacy.” He shook his head. “Very well, then! I take my leave. Should we meet again, let it be under more friendly circumstances. You seem like a nice chap to know.”
I patted him on the head and commanded the waters to make a dry (drier) route for me to walk on. The waters complies and I left the swamp with ease.