Dreamt I was summoned to appear before Kali (yea, that Kali). She appeared as she would in the microsecond her foot stepped upon her holy husband in his effort to calm her raging. So she was still fearsome, terrifying, and raving, but despite the exterior she was calm, calculating, and reasoned.
She wanted to know why I had accepted Merciful Mother Mary as my archetype of motherhood and not her.
She really did look personally offended by my decision.
“Well, I’m not Hindu, so I really can’t claim to be yours this life around. And what I know of you is not the kind of mother I need.” She challenged how would I know what I needed. “By judging my reaction. If I took you as Mother, I would serve you with a military obedience. And you probably know damn well that is the last type of loyalty I should ever give anyone after all the shit I’ve been through. I would destroy myself to be your Living Blade, and not even the mercy of your Beloved would be able to stop me if I lost my shit.”
She crossed two of her sword wielding arms in front of her. I could not tell if the gesture was conciliatory or a warning in nature. “Is that why you also refused [did you really have to go there]?”
“No. That’s a little more complicated. She would destroy me for never being good enough, and I get enough of that shit from my blood mother, thank you very fucking much.”
Kali crossed two more sword wielding arms. “Very well. I accept this.”
I saw the subtle shift in positioning of her foot (which I had not realized had been extended forward this entire time) and the dream faded.
I woke up smelling blood and fire, but a check of myself and the premises found a lack of both.