Dream Journal: 2015-11-08.01

Last week, an acquaintance at work passed away. His passing had a direct impact on my job in that I had one less set of items to prepare for dissemination at the end of the week. I did not know him personally, and I was more concerned for the living that did than where he went to after. At our group meetings, we were polite to each other as proper decorum and human decency required.

“Oh, Keri. There you are. Would you be so kind to dispose of this coffee for me. I can’t walk and carry at the same time anymore.”

“Certainly, [Sir]. I thought you were supposed to be resting by now.” I took his untouched coffee and napkins to the trash can and placed them inside without splashing. “I already put aside your [work items], and I’m a bit concerned about [your best friend also on the committee]. Anything I can do for him?”

The meeting room was the same it always was, though the sunlight shining through the windows had an inverse color effect. The large table mocked us all, as always. There was only I, the deceased, and one other person who I did not recognize but knew I had never seen at work before.

“Oh, you mean [Best Buddy]? Yea. He knew this was coming, but he held more hope than me. The sappy shit. I keep… kept telling him we all have to face adulthood sooner or later. Listen, you just be the neutral shoulder you’ve been to all of us and close the door so there’s no witnesses if he does lose it, and he’ll be alright. He won’t be embarrassed losing it in front of you. [Personal observation goes here.] Just help him maintain his… what do you younguns call it? Rap? Rep! Help him maintain his rep.”

The other man chuckled. His cup should have been white, but it appeared inverse black instead. (Think of a photo with a dark area. Now invert that photo. The inverted dark area should be white, and the program will identify that as white, but there is a quality to that inverse black that white will never have and it can only be seen subjectively.)

“You think I’m joking?” The deceased addressed the other man. “[Best Buddy] maintains his public perception very carefully. Everyone is going to be looking to him to keep it together so they can have permission to lose theirs.”

“I know, I know. It’s still just silly from my perspective.” Even the other man’s voice had a reverse quality to it. As if he was speaking another language backwards and it happens to sound like English.

The room and the hallway were normal. The chairs appeared normal except for the one the other man sat in. It was like he carried an aura about himself that transformed what he touched or was near to. Without my usual meeting items, I stood by the chairman’s end of the table, holding the chair to keep my hands occupied.

“I know I tell you this all the time, Keri, and you just let it slide because you think I’m saying it only because I have to say it. But… [personal statements go here], and I don’t want you to forget it. [More personal statements go here.] And don’t let anyone here take that from you.”

I bowed to recognize the emotions in his words. The other man just nodded then lightly tapped the table. The wood under his fingers warped into inverse green for a moment. “Time to go. Can’t wait any longer.”

“No, it was time enough.” He struggled to his feet and grabbed his walker. “I got to say all I wanted to say. Who woulda thunk this sweet girl here was this kind of person and with these kind of skills. Sheesh. She coulda [unduly influenced certain work decisions] and we’d all thank her for it.”

“No, I wouldn’t!” I went to hold the door open for him, but he swatted my hands away. Independent to the very end.

“Well, you should have! At least I wouldn’t have to answer for some of the decisions I made here!” He laughed openly and genuinely. Committee decisions do tend to be contentious.

The other man nodded towards me with professional respect as he followed the deceased. I did my waking duties and made sure the meeting room was clean and tidy before turning off the light. When I caught up with the men, they were at the far end of the hall, at the door leading to the outside.

“So, this is it, then? This is the last place I had to be, so now I leave here and go… Where?”

“To what lies waiting, Sir.”

“Well, that’s a bullshit answer. Fine. Guess I’ll just have to find out the hard way.” He turned around to show his mirth and saw me waiting behind. “You remember what I told you, Keri! I’m not bullshitting you! Be a good girl, be true to who you are, and give them all hell. Ha!”

“I will, [Sir]. I will.”

The door opened and the light outside was shining brightly inverse-black. “I can’t see a damn thing. Fine. Guess I have to hold your hand after all. Get over here, you psychopomp, and pomp me.”

The other man chuckled coolly as he took the hand of the deceased. He started to say something but the door closed before I could hear.

The sound of the self-locking door woke me up. The deceased’s last words were echoing in my ear.

I wasn’t going to write this up for public consumption. Respect for the living and all that. But it wouldn’t leave me, and I feel that if I didn’t, I would be letting him down.


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