Dream: You Know My Husband?

(Scribe’s note: Certain names changed to protect the Guilty AND the Innocent.)

My cell phone is dancing harshly on my desk. The vibrations sounding like a worn out drill is stuttering. Just as the initial vibrations cease, I blindly reach over and grab the phone. The first audible chirps are silenced as I press the “answer” button.

“Hello?” It too damn early in the morning. I thought I had my phone on silent.

“Yes, hello? Is this Kerian Nox?” A woman’s voice, far too awake for this time of day. She stumbles over the first name a bit.

“Yes, I’m Kerian. Good morning. What can I help you with?” This is my neutral, ‘I’m trying not to be snarly’ greeting. What I want to ask is why is she calling me before sunrise.

“My name is Amunet, perhaps you know my husband, Amun?” Oh shit. I’m awake now. I do know her husband, we are good friends. But I’ve never talked to her. The couple lives thousands of miles away from me. From the tone in her voice, however, she thinks I’m a lot closer. Like down the block close.

“We talk often. Is he okay?” Amun does a lot of driving, and I do worry about my friend on the road so much.

“He’s fine. Tell me, how do you know him?” If her tone gets any colder, I’m going to get frostbite.

“We used to hang out at Such&Such online forum. After I left the forum we continued the discussion.”

“Uh-huh.” Shit, she doesn’t believe me. I didn’t think she would. The truth sounds so much like a badly made lie.

“When’s the last time you saw him in person?” I wish she would come right out and say it, instead of dragging it out. You think he’s cheating on you, gotcha.

“Never.” A truthful answer. I have never met Amun in person. Yet, he’s one of the closest friends I have ever had.

“Never? Really? You expect me to believe that? Your phone number is all over his records.” Oh, this woman is wound up tighter than a steel drum.

“Yes. Really. And we do talk often during the week.” Somehow I spoke with more patience than I thought I could muster at O’Dark Thirty in the morning. “Look, do you have internet access right now?”

“Why?”

“Roll with me here. You have my phone number. Google it. Or at least, the area code.”

“Hrmph.” Despite her negative grump, I hear the takking of a keyboard in the background. “Los Angeles, Riverside, and San Bernardino Counties… California.” I just wait for the logistics to sink in. “You’re in California.”

“Yes.” When she doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, I start talking. “He talks about you, a lot, you know.”

“He does?” She sounds surprised.

“Yes. He does. He loves you and worry when you get sick and says how hard it is for him to be on the road all the time. Yes, Amun and I talk a lot on the phone. But that’s it. If nothing else, look at this. I’m here in California. You’re there in Arkansas. There just isn’t the time!”

She laughs, sounding greatly relieved. As her laughter fades, I can hear the embarassment start to creep in. “Oh wow, then it is early there. And I woke you up over nothing! Um…”

My turn to laugh. “Tell you what, when he gets back in, just say you and I discussed ways to abuse him. Then watch him squirm.” We both laugh.

She apologizes profusely for being jealous of my friendship with Amun, and is glad I was taking it so well. I tell her she can call me anytime, and I’ll help plot pranks for her to pull on him. We say our goodbyes. I hang up, and roll over. As I roll over, I note the pattern on the bed sheets. With a sudden flash of lucidity, I realize I’m dreaming. My bed sheets are solid color. I laugh at the dream and will myself into deeper sleep.

My cell phone is dancing harshly on my desk. I sit up and wince at the first glimmers of sunlight in my window. Just as I reach for it, it drops still onto the floor. I’m quite groggy. Am I still dreaming? Was that a dream? Who else is going to call me? Just as I resolved to let the phone remain on the floor, my alarm goes off. Time to get up. Blah.

Pick up the phone and flip it open. “One Missed Call: Amun-Ra” No fucking way. Did I talk to his wife a few hours earlier? I check the cell phone logs. The call previous to Amun-Ra’s was yesterday at three in the afternoon. I then remember the bed sheets in the dream, and confirm to myself I only dreamt talking to Amunet.

Dreaming her, then missing his call did put me on edge until I was able to call him an hour later. I told him about the dream. He laughed at the thought of his wife being that jealous. I wonder if he told her about it.

(Scribe’s Note: In case it wasn’t clear: “Amun”, “Amunet”, and “Such&Such” are all fictitious names.)