When my Boriquen ancestor is pissed at me, ke changes appearance to someone much like a very pissed off Lafayette from True Blood. Physically quite male, dressed quite feminine, with a red head-scarf, gold bling everywhere, and red eyeshadow that I would be insanely jealous of if those eyes weren’t ready to shank a bitch (read: me).
“God damn, you’re beautiful when you’re pissed.”
“¿Qué dijo?”
“Uh… Tú eres mas linda quien… uh… uh… Mierda, no sé que es ‘fucking pissed off as fuck’ en Español…”
“<If you’re going to kiss my ass, I suggest you learn the proper words to do so smoothly. I don’t take rough lovers.>” *translated from Spanish because I understood the meaning even if I don’t remember the words
“No ‘ta ayudame.” In hindsight, snark was probably not the best tone to use.
“¡Hacer el trabajo! ¡Mantenga su palabra! Juré a ayudar con la baraja solamente. Eso es su trabajo. ¿Quieres mas? Hacer el trabajo. Mantenga su palabra.”
Humbled, I can only reply, “Sí, Maestro.”.
(I’m still jealous of that eyeshadow. It’s like a Red Lafayette. Fuck.)