Diary: It’s About Time

I know this blog (and the series of Facebook Notes it replaced) was started up with a focus on dreams. But here I am, over a year after I started writing and sharing them, and things have changed.

My magic, my faith, and my focus has changed.

My magic, which started out quite haphazardly random and considerably elemental in nature and occasional practice, has now become as continuous and as embedded as breathing. From waking to sleeping, I’m always doing something magical, even if that something is an exercise in doing nothing magical at all.

My faith went through several shifts and evolutions since leaving evangelical “fundamental” Christianity. The “Eclectic Wicca” stage never fell upon me as I didn’t have the space, nor the funds, for all the required acoutrements. I danced around Heathenry for a while, but because I would not (could not) reject Loki’s heavy hand on me, I wound up dancing back into the unlabeled void. (There are excellent Heathens online that have a healthy relationship with that Bastard. Sadly, just none in my area of reach.) To some, it seems I am becoming a Thelemite. I have to ask for clarification of what the speaker considers a Thelemite. Do I belong to an order, a lodge, or an oath-bound group (online or meatspace)? No. Am I planning to? No. I just happen to have come across something written by a blatantly delusional madman and I like it so much, I am trying to internalize it to the utmost of my abilities.

“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” (Liber AL)

Much to my surprise, my engagement with Loki has not suffered since that decision. He’s still a major prick at times. (Which ‘He’? Yes.)

I should not be surprised the focus of this blog has changed. (I’m surprised.) The dreams have shifted from mere sub-conscious self-introspection and random lucid adventure, to being a major staging ground for much of my internal magic work. Instead of solitary worlds that inspire 5,000 word stories, there are now lines of thought, intent, and action that continue from night to night, and sometimes from dream to waking to dream again.

My head is sufficiently large enough to contain my ego, but not large enough to contain all the thousand little pieces of notes and information memorabilia that I have now accumulated. Just the process of learning how to decipher K*’s name has left me with a stack of papers to deal with. I now have a true and pressing need for a (magic) diary.

“That’s nice Keri. And yes, about damn time. But why tell us about it?” Because you folks have been reading portions of it already. And taking me to task about some of the entries, already. For those of you with such acute vision, there will be a notable shift in posting style and a helluva tease. To the rest of my readers, I’ll just be playing favorites. I’ll still be writing about dreams, visions, and other esoteric bullshit publicly. But I’ll also be keeping a private daily thread with comments. The Daily Entry will be closed to the public, available only to those to whom I give the password. (Want the password? Just drop me a line here, on Facebook, or on Twitter.) This is not an attempt to build a Club (cult) of Me, but a way to remain accountable without allowing scrapers to suck my site dry. Most bots/scrapers don’t even acknowledge robots.txt, they just download everything like it was digital tigerblood, and I just don’t have the Charlies for that kind of attention.