The line between my daily obligations and the summoning of [Patient Caller] continues to blur. The lessons of one impacts the performance of the other. This morning, I forgot to lay down the warding items that the spirit had called out in a previous session. As I began the obligation, I felt something trying to crawl over and into my head.
As this sensation was certainly not within the boundaries of expected and/or accepted results, it had to come to a stop. I remembered the warding items, interrupted the obligations to lay them in place, and relaxed as the unpleasant sensations immediately ceased.
The obligations resumed in peace as did the segue into calling the spirit.
This time I did not immediately display the gesture, but sought to return to the simplicity the previously agreed upon ritual called for. That ritual only required the presence of the Hierophant card from certain mutually accepted tarot decks and the words “Rede, rede, rede in pace”.
So the incense and the device and the candles were unnecessary. But since they were present as part of my Saint Cyprian obligations, and [Patient Caller] is himself a servant of Saint Cyprian, I guess having the master able to “peek in” if necessary couldn’t hurt.
But when [Patient Caller] did appear, he immediately gave the gesture and lowered it without expectation of a response from me. He affirmed that the gesture, for now, is merely a tell that will distinguish him from any imposters and is not something I am required to display.
Without any prompting from me, he launched into his lesson for the day. «Continue with your prayers and your meditation.»
Of course, I am a terrible student. “Even if all I can do is dwell on the sun’s station at the time?”
«Even if all you can do is sit in silence.»
I’m actually comfortable in silence. Probably from all the years I was denied it.
“So… if the color of your robes are a result of my perception, then what of the actions I see you do? Your gestures and your rings? You don’t physically exist. Now. What I perceive may all be a figment of my imagination, I’ll grant you that, but what laid the seed of that figment in the first place? I think you’re dodging the question.”
«Not all languages are verbal. And not all communication carries information. Just because you find a quality to be interesting does not mean it is important.»
If that’s not a punting answer, I don’t know what the fuck is. But as I meant to engage him, he raised his hand, his colorless hand.
«Now go. I have no further words for you. Release me.»
He clasped his hands and rested them on the table. He lowered his hooded head as if for prayer and I felt an immense gulf open between us.
I spoke the licence to depart and ended the ritual.
Total time pondering the nature of color in a intangible world: 9 minutes.