I have been doing better since the end of August and the end of the thirty days of summoning [Patient Caller] for the explicit purpose of helping me deal with my shit. I have busied myself with continuing to further my recovery and taking care of things that came up when I wasn’t paying attention.
As September advanced so did my interest in other wooish shenanigans. I read a thing in a book about St. Cyprian, recognized that it was something that would be of use to me now that I have committed to remaining plugged in to the Cyprianic current even after the Black School ends, and realized that I have all the things on hand, right now, to make the thing happen.
Of course, there’s a complication.
Continue reading “A Measure of Daring”
As requested, a masterpost of the entries for the August 2018 DoMagick: Summoning challenge in a proper “Start to Finish” order:
To spare you the long version if this post is your first catch up with me since the June Do Magick challenge, lemme summarize the month of July: Everything sucks and I want to die.
However, since I have had it literally pounded into my head that I am not allowed to just go whenever I feel like it, I might as well keep up with obligations and promises. Like jumping into this month’s challenge including the daily log.
“Summon a spirit or a set of spirits for 30 days to transform an aspect of your life.”
For this challenge, I summoned the same spirit that started me off on so many shenanigans: [Patient Caller]. The pseudonym is in brackets to make it clear that this is not the name that I call him in private. It is the same pseudonym I used for the September ’17 challenge, so long term readers (and new archive divers) can keep track of just how deep I have dug this hole.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Masterpost”
The obligation came and went without issue, as did setting up for the summoning of [Patient Caller] to follow. But after speaking the summoning words and closing my eyes, the after-image of one of the candles split into three identical fractures of itself. The false image of the flame spun in a tight circle that chased itself into a fierce ring of fire and light.
A massive pressure started to squeeze my head from both sides. While I could feel the presence of [Patient Caller], he felt far away as if several layers were isolating him from me. The pressure was very uncomfortable and felt like something was trying to pack me into an impossibly small space.
In retrospect, what I should have done was call upon Saint Cyprian in whose name I had completed the obligation, or better yet, call upon some of the forces he rolls with. (Ambiguous statement is very ambiguous.) Instead I listened to my instinct, focused on [Patient Caller], and made the gesture he had shared with me before.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 30 – Salt”
The morning obligation came and went. When it came time to add the cedarwood oil to the oil burner, the bottle would not cooperate. Despite being mostly full, it took a lot of shaking, wiggling, and coaxing to get three drops of oil out of it.
The chamber appeared to darken from the cardinal red of the velvet interior to a deep and mysterious blood red hue. Despite the sanguine associations of the color, I was not disturbed or concerned. I had no indications that I should prepare (more) for trouble.
So of course I was surprised when I closed my eyes after speaking the summoning words, and ‘opening’ them in a brightly lit church.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 29 – Rite”
Today the chamber had the appearance of holding the profile of a person within it. Shoulders, neck, head, and some basic features of a face. I was not perturbed to see it, but regarded it as just one more optical illusion caused by the reflection off the polished brass and refraction through the glass front.
After summoning the spirit, I realized I had no pressing questions to ask him. So I fell back to the skill I have had no luck with: Idle chat.
“So… We have today and two more to complete the challenge.”
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 28 – Comfort”
The light of the candles gave the chamber the illusion of the appearance of someone seated cross legged inside the chamber. It was fun to watch how my mind drew a figure from the fewest curves possible.
It took until today for me to realize that when speaking the words “Rede, rede, rede in pace,” that I was also dropping into a light trance and closing my eyes before I had said the final rede. It is a marked difference from my state of awareness at the beginning of the month. It’s not forced or frightening. It feels like I’m sitting down at a table and it’s time to use the quiet voice in conversation now.
So I was not surprised that I was not startled when the afterimage of the candle flames multiplied and became a multitude of glowing leonine eyes floating and staring at me in a mix of challenge and bored observation.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 27 – Sandbox”
Yesterday evening, I managed to complete an elective action that I had been attempting to do for a good part of the month. I could not get myself in the right headspace for it because of my sorrows and had all but given up. The spirit involved in that elective signaled that it wanted to continue despite myself.
That was an interesting lesson, for sure.
Today after the morning obligation and the ritual summoning, [Patient Caller] remarked on the action and the circumstances that led to its delay along with the joy I experienced in finally completing the deceptively simple action.
«There will always be those who will deny you a title for what you do because you are not their ideal. Remember what you did last night. Even if those who wish to limit you take away all the words that describe what you did, they cannot take away the fact that you did it. You are as you are, regardless of by what names or titles you are called, or not.»
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 26 – Solar”
So of course now that I have spoken about collecting the dripped wax for later use, I have been given indication to stop collecting wax as I now “have enough”. Enough for what, I don’t know, yet.
Otherwise, the obligation and the summoning both were completed without any further surprises.
The impetus to close my eyes doesn’t wait for me to attempt to resist before washing down my face. Though, to be honest, I’m so used to it by now that it doesn’t register that I’m feeling an unseen force in the first place.
No difficulties with setting up for my obligation though I did have thoughts of a figure I regard as a “personal saint” intruding throughout the meditation. I’m not sure what to make of it at this time. I will note that he, too, has said that he has never stopped praying for me.
No difficulties with setting up for the summoning to follow. This time I added some water with the cedarwood oil to keep it from immediately overheating and splattering the card. Once I spoke the actual summoning words, my thoughts started chasing themselves and I had great difficulty just keeping the task in mind.
«[The personal saint] comes to your thoughts not from chance. Later, write down these thoughts of him and examine them for evidence of unfinished business and acts yet to be placed into motion.»
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 24 – Continue”
When I dripped the cedarwood oil into the bowl of the hot oil warmer, I didn’t hear anything unusual from the bowl. When I held the tarot card over the oil warmer to collect the scent and withdrew it, I noticed the card face was covered in splatter. I wiped the splatter off with my leg so the paper of the card would not warp before adding more water to the bowl.
That area of skin felt unusually cool for the rest of the ritual. After saying the summoning words, I was suddenly drowning in a deep wave of lethargy and drowsiness. It would be easy to say “something’s happening”, but the previous two days were filled with sixteen hour work days and maybe five hours of sleep in between.
However, magic is the process that turns a nudge into a push, so who am I to say, right?
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 23 – Check-in”