I have “stuff” for an update to the research phase of my Do Magick project. But it’s going to take me the day to express it in words that y’all will be able to understand.
I’m self-taught, as in tied to a anchor and thrown in the deep blue sea kind of taught. I had no teachers, physical or cyber, for those initial “formative” years. I had only the jumbled contents of my head and a barely intact survival instinct. My initial foray into magic was not for power, love, and/or money.
It was to survive.
As a result of my isolation from occult sub-cultures during those formative years, there are things I do that I now recognize as being “advanced” when perceived by others, and things I do that beginners are taught are Dumb Ass™ behaviors never to emulate. Or as one observer pouted when they saw proof of my workings: “You’re not supposed to do that in the way that you did it! That’s not how magic works!”
That’s exactly how magic works.
I have received feedback that perceiving the spirit/embodiment of my physical copy of the Book of Oberon as a precocious gray garbed and gray haired girl in my “dreams” is not how grimoire magic works and that I’m (a) making shit up and/or (b) deluding myself.
But that’s how my magic works. My personal focus is less on external tools and more on internal dreams, visions, and sights. Because that’s how it developed and what worked for me at the time.
I have to do what is right for me regardless of how acceptable or tolerable it is to others. Because that is how my magic has helped me survive. However, circumstances change and I have to change with it because I haven’t survived this long to fall apart now.
And at the bottom of the page, that’s what this Do Magick challenge is personally about. It is one part to contact and make communication (communion?) with a very Patient Caller that has appeared to me in dreams for years and years. It is one part trying to find out what else am I capable of if I only but do it.
And one part finally finding out why I felt compelled to keep a hazel rod that literally fell on my head eight years ago.
Hopefully, I will have an actual update for you later in the day.