Dream Journal: 2017-08-25.01

All week long I’ve been worried as hell that I’m gonna Fuck It Up something big and have my shame documented for all to see. (There’s a difference between “nothing happened” and “uh-oh”.)

Last night I heard a train of people passing by my closed bedroom door. I attributed it to family members having to reckon with their choice of beverage at inconvenient hours. Until I realized the little girl’s voice who was telling them to keep moving was someone I had heard before.

The train of people stopped. The girl was having a conversation with someone else.

“After all these years and now they wanna get in?” She sounded surprised and exasperated.

“After all these years, now she is paying attention.” A deep voice but with a high nasal harmonic. The only thing I could tell for sure is the speaker is not embodied.

“I’m doing my best to help her, but there’s a lot to go through in a short amount of time. When she starts, it will not be under ideal circumstances. She will not have everything at the ready.”

“As long as she starts. Even if she had all the tools and the perfect timing, it will still take time to refine her. Some skills cannot be bought, some lessons cannot be taught.”

It hadn’t sunk in yet that I was dreaming or who the two folks talking outside my door were. I was more annoyed that I wasn’t being allowed to “sleep”. I didn’t bother to pull my head out from under the covers. I just shouted my annoyance to no one in particular.

“Problem?”

The door cracked. A little girl with gray hair stuck her head in the door. “Yea. You’re not sleeping. You need your rest if you’re going to be getting up earlier than usual next month.”

“I’m not sleeping cuz you’re loud. Who are you talking to, anyway? Any why is the hallway so crowded? What’s up with all those people?”

The girl grinned. “He has many names, of which you know but one, so I’ll tell you another. ‘George.’ And as for the others, they’re just being loud because they want attention. They think if they show you some lights and wonders that you’ll take them as your masters and serve them.”

“If they fuck with me further, I’ll show them some fucking lights and wonders. I learned Vishnu’s lesson very fucking well.” I can be sleep. I can be civil. I can’t be both at the same time.

“We’ll talk later then. There are still passages you need to add to your ritual.”

‘George’ spoke from over her shoulder. “I hope to sit with you, soon. We have much to converse about.”

She closed the door and I fell into a deeper sleep. Upon waking, I realized where the name ‘George’ came from. Having the Book of Oberon manifest in my dreams as a precocious girl: Good. Listening to said precocious girl drop memes on my head: Bad.

I have a week to get my shit together.

I’m still worried my attempts are going to fubar me.