Do Magick September ’17: Day 25 – Pause

Waking up was easy. Getting out of bed was hard. What did I have to get up for? My focus is starting to shift from the daily invocations to the shenanigans that will start next week. What could I learn from the spirit in the six remaining days that I could put to immediate use?

To persevere, that’s what.

The invocation went as it did, smoothly and without interruption. I watched the revealing of [Patient Caller] into my mind’s eye as if savoring a rare delicacy. He settled into his usual place on the other side of the small table. I settled into strange silence on mine.

I had nothing to say. So this time, he asked the questions, and I answered.

He asked if I was going to continue to go to Mass. I answered that this Tuesday would be my last presence there. I have proven to myself that my fears of the institution was unfounded and that I have made peace with the power(s) that govern it. Without a personal connection to the community, I had begun to analyze and deconstruct not only the service but the very building itself. This was not my home.

He asked if I was going to put the ritual tools away once the obligation was complete. I answered that most of them will be placed in storage out of harm’s way. Only those parts that I can keep in my purse or workbag would remain with me. So the pewter amulet will remain. And so will the amber piece now that I have a small hard case stuffed with cotton balls that I keep it in, though that’s now redundant with the entanglement with the Hierophant tarot card.

He asked if I was going to go back to the usual spiritual maintenance routine I had suspended for this obligation. I had to laugh. What usual maintenance routine? The question directly called up the pending shenanigans and I never did completely answer his question as I fell silent and pensive.

He called me out on my fear.

I did not answer him at first.

“It will go as it goes. I gave better planning to that than I did to this endeavor. It just took… stuff… to get me to put that plan into motion.”

I opened my eyes to look at the table and the empty space beyond it. Even though I was facing physical reality, his presence remained brushing against my senses.

“This… trap… was not just about teaching me this art, was it.” I already knew the answer, I just wanted to hear it.

He did not answer.

After another moment of mutual silence, I quietly gave the Apophenia Invitation (though with humor, because it now feels redundant, and yet it isn’t) and spoke the License to Depart. I waited until his presence completely left before closing the ritual with Psalm 54 and commanding “Go all now in peace.”

Total ritual time: 38 minutes.