Do Magick September ’17: Day 6 – Snooze Control

An unpleasant event yesterday evening left me with barely any energy left to take care of myself, much less double check the usual things I do before bed. Emotional traumas can turn even the strongest of spines into dust, and by the time my head had hit the pillow, all I wanted to do was sleep and mark the day as complete.

I dreamt of being part of an entity that knew all things, was all things, and had great power such that to call it a god would be to think too small of it. However, that entity lacked understanding of everything, even of its own nature. So the entity never stirred from its slumber. It created itself in its slumber. Whole worlds were created or extinguished when it shifted. Demigods were created, exalted, overthrown, and unmade during its ignorance.

As part of the entity, I observed all this impassively. I did not understand what I was seeing, and because of that, I had no interest in it.

So, of course, I overslept.

It would be really awesome to say that a voice told me to wake up, or that the scent of the candle pulled me from my slumber, however nothing spectacular happened. The only thing I remember about how I woke up, was that I had the awareness that I was sleeping too well. That awareness kicked me awake and I checked the clock to find that not only had I not set either alarm the previous night, but that I had slept through thirty minutes of my precious dedicated hour.

I laid out the same items as I have been laying out before, but somehow it felt… less… than before. As if all this time I had been laying out two candles, but today I only laid out one. As if I had twice the length of material for the circle, but today I only had this. I attributed this to the growing familiarity I was developing for the items. As I allowed my hands to determine where to place things, I thought on them less, and thus they took up less “space” in my thoughts.

(Later I would think on this, and conclude that allowing the ritual gear to become “less” in my thoughts was dangerous. Too easy then to take things for granted, make a mistake, and wind up cut by the open blade or worse.)

The ritual began without incident, and upon commanding [Patient Caller] to appear, I closed my eyes only to realize how sleepy and groggy I still was. I opened them to keep myself from falling asleep and stared at the unlit candle until my physical sight drifted.

I did not realize I had closed my eyes again until I looked at the candle and saw it lit by a cool flame that was not melting the wax.

«You are not sleeping.»

“How can you be sure?” I did not question the existence of a voice that was not heard but understood. I was here for conversation, after all.

«You are still sitting upright. Open your eyes and verify.»

I opened my eyes. I had locked my legs under the chair and was holding the thin brown book tightly in my lap. I recognized the pose as one I would take if I was entering into trance in an upright and seated position.

“You’re not telling the whole of it. I was not sleeping… true… but I was not awake, either. Hypnagogia is the threshold of sleep after all.” Okay, maybe the spirit was telling 90% of it. I was still very exhausted from last night’s emotional upheavals. Without realizing it, I had closed my eyes again.

«Then abide here for a moment. [Until you do what you have been shown to do, I can do no further anyway.]»

I noticed the candle was lit again and I realized my liminal state. We conversed no further, but just remained in each other’s company for a few silent minutes.

«You should end this now if you are going to fulfill other obligations.»

He did not wait for a response. In my mind’s eye, the candle extinguished. My physical eyes opened. I spoke the Apophenia Invitation, the License to Depart, and closed the ritual without further incident.

Total time: 32 minutes.