Do Magick September ’17: Day 9 – Smother

This week has not been gentle to me. Between emergencies at work, emotional shocks after work, and familial pressures that chose this week to unnecessarily escalate, I’m tired. Saturday would normally be the day to sleep as close to noon as my responsibilities would allow.

It was very hard to fully wake up as the intentionally out of reach alarm insisted.

I forced myself to be hyper aware of every sensation as I began the preparations for the ritual. Remembering the effect removing the Solomon’s Seal amulet caused, I paid attention to the ambience of the room as I initially gestured with the amulet before speaking the activating phrase. No difference after speaking. As I passed the black cord over my head, I noted passing the cord past my ears had the same effect of pulling a hood over my head.

Sounds were slightly dampened and I had the sense of being encapsulated by something invisible, intangible, yet bright.

Despite being awake, I still struggled to read the words in the thin brown book. Only those few sections that I have memorized were spoken with an unbroken meter. All others sounded like I was reading a foreign language for the first time. I called the spirit to appear and placed my hands and the thin brown book on my lap. Aware that I was still frighteningly sleepy, I kept my eyes open but ignored what I was physically seeing in hopes of remaining awake.

«I want to show you something. I want you to remember it. Even if you remember nothing else, this must remain with you.»

A shadowy hand adorned with glinting rings darted towards me from the other side of the table. Despite the surprise, I was unable to move as it reached for the exposed skin of my chest. In fear, I realized I could not move, not even to turn away.

Just before it touched my skin, something bright and hot shimmered out from where the point of contact should have been to race over my field of view. The trail of warmth it left behind revealed it was skimming over my skin. The shadowy hand pulled back several inches, and pressed forward again with greater speed.

Again a flash burst out from where contact should have been made. But this time, an image remained in the space above the point of failed contact. A six-pointed star made of fiery lines of light, expanded and faded in the time it took to blink.

«You were foolish to attempt this today in your current state. If not for that barrier, I would have you in any way I desire. It would not be hard for me to trick you into removing the amulet. All I have to do is make you panic.»

As the spirit collected himself on the other side of the table into his traditional form, I meant to open my mouth for a rebuttal of his boast. I remained silent and still. I tried to lift a hand, I tried to scowl, I tried to do anything else other than sit perfectly still with half-closed eyes. I was somehow bound.

I could feel the emotion of smug satisfaction emanating not from what I perceived of his spirit, but from the physically cold yet apparently lit candle. I was not afraid. I was angry as hell. My anger did nothing for me as simple physical exhaustion kept me in place better than any shenanigans the spirit could attempt.

The flare of anger came and went quickly. No other emotions rose to take its place. The tiredness sapped me, and the pauses between thoughts became gaps. As I watched the thin stream of smoke from the candle encircle his right little finger before passing between and into the shewstones, I fell into a stupor.

«Now, I begin.»

He spoke not in words but in images and sensations. He reminded me where I could purchase the levels of emery boards and micromesh needed to smooth and polish the small amber piece. He reminded me where I could purchase the small pillow he wanted for the rutile quartz. He chided me for my lack of research into the proper cord needed for the circle and reminded me that if I attempted to use my current cord for the evocation of any other spirit, not only would I fail, but I would suffer a terrible backlash that could affect others in my household “amulet or not”.

I don’t know if he was proving how far he could affect me in the stupor despite the amulet’s protection or not, but he reached into my memory and pulled out issues that had happened during the week. For many of the personal and mundane problems, he presented solutions that I could complete on my own and without spiritual assistance. Except for one. He revealed that particular problem had a spiritual covering of its own and that if I was going to take any action other than avoidance, I would have to petition the source of that covering for permission to kick a bitch’s ass continue.

His monologue ended, he clasped his ringed hands together behind the shewstones and watched me silently for a length of time that felt so long that it could not be measured.

«You put yourself into this stupor. You are going to have to get yourself out of it. I will not help you.»

Everything outside of my circle had faded in my peripheral vision. My half-closed eyes remained locked on the space between the shewstones lying on the otherwise large and empty table, illuminated only by the small flame on the exposed candle.

I have no idea what length of time had passed before I remembered that the physical shewstones were lying on the physical Book of Oberon that was placed on the small table before me. When I did, I poured all of my awareness that I could cognitively pull together into that fact and forced my half-closed eyes to see the physical matter of the situation.

The candle extinguished. [Patient Caller’s] form dissipated. I saw the shewstones as they physically were. I blinked.

I was awake.

I took a very long moment to consider if to offer the Apophenia Invitation after what had just happened. I shrugged, spoke the international words of doom (“Fuck it.”), and offered the Apophenia Invitation followed quickly by the License to Depart and the recitation of Psalm 54 for closure.

I was even more exhausted after the closure of the ritual than I was when struggling to wake up. I cleaned up and put away all the tools before I even considered removing the amulet. Vividly remembering the flashes of light that burst from it when [Patient Caller] demonstrated my vulnerability, I clumsily drew a six-pointed star in the air before me, and stumbled over the accompanying words.

When nothing happened, I lifted the black cord over my head. My ears popped and other sounds from inside and outside the house surged into my awareness. I kissed the amulet before putting it away.

My obligation completed, I wrote some notes to remind myself of what happened when I would sit down to write this entry later. Looking at the clock to note the time, I was confused by how much time had actually transpired when it felt like I was in that stupor for hours.

Total ritual time: 45 minutes.

Damn right I crawled my ass immediately back into bed and slept like the dead for another two hours.

When I did sit down to type this entry, ten hours later, I found I did not need to refer to the notes at all except to verify that what I remembered matched and filled out what I had outlined. I have since obtained the emery boards and micromesh. Will be working on that tonight.

Getting the “pillow” for the stone is the easy part. (Un)Fortunately, I can also obtain very well made tarot bags at that same shop, so staying in budget may not be as easy as planned. Obtaining the cord as specced is going to tie me up, I’m sure.