Dream Journal: 2012-08-07.01

The dream ended with something holding me by my neck against the wall, my feet dangling off the floor. A guttural voice asked me, “Do you remember?”. I answered, “No. It’s all gone.”. The huge hand released me and I fell down on the ground. It huffed in satisfaction and walked away. The piece of flesh it had torn from my chest still dripping in its other hand. It stunk like a wet stray dog. A heavy scent that chokes even if you can’t smell it. I felt the Waking approach. I scrambled to piece together what I could.

It’s an old house. Two floors and a basement. Built on a ridge. The Pacific Ocean is nearby. Somewhere in Oregon. Isolated from town by distance, terrain, and reputation. While the house is only about 150 years old, the land has been inhabited by humans since humans first came. It had been inhabited by Others since Others first came when the land was still young. The Others choose which humans can live here.

There are three planes of existence at the house, all overlapping each other. Human, Spirit, Other. Most humans only see the human plane. A few gifted and/or witchy folk can see the spirit. None can see the Others if the Others don’t want to be seen. Usually. Until now.

I was seeking shelter from a sudden storm. Dunno how I got there. The basement doors were unlocked but the house was locked tight. Found myself not needing light to see. Mushroom growing apparatus dominated the basement. I found a bare corner and sat down to ride the storm out.

“If you’re going to be here a while, make yourself useful.” Huh? Look up, see nothing. “You can hear me but can’t see me? Probably for the best.” I nodded and asked what needed to be done. “Take that alcohol and clean your hands. Then take the toilet paper, shred pieces, and cover the bare dirt trays.” I did as was told.

The disembodied voice walked me through the care of the trays. From preparing the empty trays for “seeding” to harvesting the mature trays. Outside the storm raged. “They are very angry. I wonder what happened?” I had no answer for the spirit. I didn’t even know where I was, or who I was.

The spirit led me to the interior stairs and unlocked the doors to the house. As I went upstairs, it introduced me to the other invisible spirits. “This is Helping Woman. She’s earning her refuge by helping us. Don’t be mean. She’s nice to talk to.” I was directed to the kitchen where the harvested mushrooms were placed.

The spirits tasked me with dusting and cleaning the house. It looked like no humans had been in here for months. Other than the mushrooms, there were no perishable food stuffs. Only supplies that would last for years. The spirits were happy to have me, and often they would give me silly tasks so I could stick around in the room longer and listen to their stories. Stories I was happy to hear. Stories I do not remember now.

I was putting a bookshelf in order when the smell of a wet dog distracted me. “Pay no attention to that!” I saw a shadow enter the room. “No! Helping Woman! Leave the room! Go back to the basement!” The spirit opened the door opposite the thing that just entered. Realizing I’m in deep shit, I turned to leave and head back downstairs.

A huge clawed hand gripped the back of my neck and lifted me off the floor. An image of a bear flashes through my mind. The voice was a series of growls but I understood it perfectly. “You. The Others have been searching for you and here is where you have been hiding all this time? You defile this place with your presence!”

The spirits all plead with the Other. They had let me into the basement. They had me earning safety by doing tasks for them. I never went where I was told not to go. And I listened to them and their tales. I wasn’t like most humans that stumbled through. Have mercy and let me leave.

The Other pulled me close to its muzzle and sniffed me. “RAVEN!” It threw me down on the floor with such force I was stunned and blacked out.

I remember the sound of something eating. The crunching of bones and the tearing of flesh. My body being jerked as another rib is wrangled free. My face is wet. I cough and some thick fluid dances in my mouth. Something roars and a wet fuzzy something else crushes my face, pushing me into darkness.

Something is pushing the dirt from my face. Something damp is cleaning me. A woman’s voice. “Open your mouth. Drink. Don’t worry if you spill.” Cool water. It reminds me to breathe. I try to stuggle, but I’m caught fast. I’m buried!

“I didn’t think you were like most humans. I took the parts of you my brother didn’t eat and buried them here in the basement floor. Sure enough, you grew back together. I’ll have to get new clothes for you.” I looked up to see a woman crouched over me. A bear skin draped over her with the skull worn as a headdress. Her hands were large and instead of nails, she had bear talons.

I tried to speak my thanks but I was tired and sore. She continued digging the dirt away from my restored body. “Something came through and pulled a nasty prank on my kin. My brothers reacted as brothers do.” She rolled her eyes. “We heard someone different was in the area, and, well…” She shrugs as she cleans the dirt from me.

I ask what was the prank. She looks me dead in the face. “It was wrong. So wrong, I’ll not speak of it. And if you want to leave intact, neither will you.” I start to stutter my innocence. She grabs me by the throat. “You’re not as innocent as you think. Your presence has upset many. I do not know if it was just happenstance or if this was planned. But it was done while all was searching for you. Speak no more, Raven-daughter.” At the name my memory started to stir. But in the end, it eluded me. I did not know who I was. I just nodded.

She told me to remain in the basement while she fetched me clothes. Apparently alone, I started to count ribs. “They all grew back.” The first spirit that talked to me was here. “I got to watch over your remains. He tried to crack your skull but he couldn’t. That really made him angry. There wasn’t much of you left to bury, and what was left was in splinters. Except your skull, he could only scrape all the flesh off. But look! All your bones and flesh grew back! That’s neat. You’re not like most humans, are you?” I just shook my head and smiled. If only I could remember who I was, and why I’m here.

Two bears are having an argument upstairs. The door opens and what I can only describe as a were-bear comes charging down the stairs at me. Unnaturally fast, he grips me by the throat and slams me against the wall.

“You can’t kill her! Are you trying to start a war? You’ve done enough as it is! Be glad she’s [did not understand] and her body regrew from what you left!” The woman is pulling on the male, trying to get him to release me.

“This is Bear lands! Not Raven! And after what happened, I’ll tolerate no more intruders!”

“She’s not a part of that!”

“She reeks of Raven! Close enough!” He digs his free claw into my chest. He rips out a chunk of skin and muscle. I scream in pain. “I’ll take this, and with it, her memory of what happened here. You say she’s innocent, then let her be innocent. You say let her live, then I’ll let her live. But I take a piece of her and with it, her memory of what happened.”

He leans in close, pushing me into the dirt wall where the basement was extended. He growls at me in Bear-speak, but I still understand. “Do you remember?”

I shook my head and wailed weakly. “No. It’s all gone!”

He stares at my face and laughs, pieces of my still red flesh still caught in his teeth. He drops me, leaving only his choking scent to cover me with. His sister yells after him then turns to check on me. But my chest is already healing. And she sees in my eyes that I remember more than what I claimed. She says nothing, cracks open the basement door leading to the outside, and races upstairs after her brother, complaining about the blood trail his “trophy” was leaving on the freshly cleaned floor.

I clung to what pieces I could remember and left the dream, allowing the Waking to embrace me.

“Raven-daughter” Fuck.


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