I don’t know how long I had been at the fire. My bare feet were so covered with dirt and ash, I looked like I had grown like a tree. If a tree could have feathers.
I was exhausted and had stumbled. Snake, in his human form, had caught me. I was getting sweat and tears and ash and dirt on his brilliant regalia. I cried to see I had thrown filth on his beauty. He is beautiful, and must never be sullied.
“You’ll hurt yourself if you continue.”
I heard the sounds he made, but they did not make sense. I tried to wipe the dirt off him, but my arms were great feathered wings. I only added more ash and dust to the dazzling iridescence. I cried out in despair. He must not be diminished. I am the one to suffer, not him.
“I will not allow you to continue. You’ve done more than what was required.”
More sounds. No understanding of what they mean. I only know the fire, and the instinct that holds me here. I know the movements my body itches to make. The dips and the stretches and the stomps and the leaps. A vocabulary of motion. A conversation held with my flesh, the fire, and the shadows watching from all around.
I tried to stand, but my exhausted legs crumpled in each attempt. Snake picked me up, disregarding how filthy he became with the action. Seeing the regalia dimmed in splendor caused me a pain I didn’t understand.
“The river is nearby. I can always wash. If necessary, I can shed. My vanity is not worth your pain.” I did not understand.
He carried me away from the fire. Away from the earth my feet had drummed on. I did not want to leave. I did not understand why I could not stay. He took me from the fire, into a cave nearby, into his lair that I did not recognize was mine as well.
He laid me, this half raven, half human thing I was, on a pile of cloth and furs. He laid down beside me, cradling me. My arms still giant wings, I could do nothing but cry from an anguish I do not understand. He held me, until the deep pain finally subsided and I fell into a deeper sleep.
later
I’m sitting on the ground in No Where. My back is against one of the few outcroppings of rock that juts against the monotony of the barely seen sky and the ever dark rust colored ground. I hear two footsteps and then a perfectly manicured hand reaches down and takes my left hand.
No Man, in his perfectly tailored suit of perfect black color, gently but firmly pulls my hand forward, extending my arm. As he does, the flesh drips away between shoulder and wrist, revealing my still connected bones. Perfectly.
He turns my hand, causing my arm to twist. Gently he turns it this way and that, looking over my smoldering bones. The smoke was hard to see in the dimly lit environment. But the smell was apparent now the flesh had been removed.
“You’re still on fire, Keri.” I nodded. “How long has this been burning?” I shook my head. I had no pain from the immolation. I didn’t know my bones were burning. Strangely I wasn’t surprised to find they were. “How long are you going to avoid her?”
I don’t know when I started crying. The silent tears ran freely down my face. No Man reached with his free hand and lifted a tear from my cheek. The drop formed a perfect half-dome on the tip of his perfectly formed finger. He studied it, smelled it, and tasted it. “Remorse. That’s not like you.”
“She told me not to enter unless she called me, No Man. I have to respect that.”
He held my defleshed arm before my face. Wisps of smoke fled from cinder holes. The marrow was glowing from the heat, a light reddened by the little blood left in the bone. “You should ask her what respect is, then. One of you is using the wrong definition.”
He placed my hand in my lap. On releasing it, the flesh reknitted itself around the bone as perfectly as it had dripped away. He stood above me but I dropped my gaze. To see his perfectly black business loafers, polished to a perfect smoothly reflective shine made me smile. I never understood why the perfection of No Man was lord of a perfectly barren realm.
I felt him place his hand on my head, perfectly placed for optimum grip. I released myself into his hold. I know I can’t counter anything he wants to do here. I can feel him smile (perfectly) at my surrender. “You need to learn when to fight back.” Before I could react, he shoved my body into the ground, my awareness away from his realm.
I woke up, smelling ash and burning flesh.
I need coffee.