~clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack~
Aea-aia-a’ma! O-yo’oea! The Old Man sharply raps his sticks and sings an Old Man’s song with his well worn voice.
Ha! … Ho! … Ai! Ai! Ai!
We twelve dancers never know how the dance will play out, but shout answer to his warbles while we stomp, turn, and gesture based on what he is singing.
We are all in costume, and yet we’re not. We are all painted and covered in feathers, in fur, in scales, in skin. And yet we’re all bare.
~clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack~
His song continues at the fast pace. The rapping sticks keep our pace even though sometimes we seem to lag. This too, is part of the dance.
There is the fire. There are we. There he is, just out of our reach. And beyond him, beyond us, beyond the fire’s reach is the devouring darkness. But we have no fear.
~clack clack clack … clack clack … clack … clack … clack~
The Old Man falls silent. The sticks held apart. We dancers suddenly break from the formal rigidity of his dance and twirl in seeming random directions away from the fire. In loops and sweeps we orbit each other and the flame, some daring to be burnt by the conflagration, some daring to be swallowed up in the surrounding darkness. Most staying in the safer zone in between, only to have to dodge each other. As we go our random ways, everyone vocalizes their own private song. It is cacophony. And yet, we are all in harmony with each other.
Aye-aya! A-o-ava! The Old Man shouts out suddenly.
Ha! … Ho! … Ai! Ai! Ai!
~clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack~
He resumes his song, pulling us back into the tight orbit around the fire. Back into the ordered dance that is random to us, but is well practiced off his tongue.
The dance continues.
He will stop randomly, allowing us to spin off into our own paths. He will start capriciously, interrupting us and calling us back into order. There is no rhythm, no measure, no apparent repetition.
This is the way of things.
Suddenly.
“Go back to the darkness that spawned you! Monster! You have no right to be here!”
The dancer in front of me, a male in furs and claws has suddenly spun around and shoved me onto the ground. Everything stops at his sudden aggression. The clacking, the Old Man’s warbling, the dancing. Only the fire continues burning as it did before, oblivious to what was happening.
“Why are you even here? This dance is for those that [unintelligible]. Not for solitary [unintelligible] like you. You dirty the dance! You mock [the Old Man] and us all just by existing!”
I don’t answer him. I know I don’t have to. He’s right. I am not like them. But he’s wrong. I have a place here, too. Or the Old Man would not have called me to dance with the others.
I stand up and shake the dust and ashes off my costume. Some of the others have shrunk back from me. Some are standing beside me in silent abiding. Some are utterly confused. I look at the Old Man for askance.
But the furred male grabs me and throws me away from the fire. “Go back to the darkness with you! You bring death here! Everything is dirtied because of you!” I try to stand again, but the costume makes me clumsy. Before I can get to my feet, he has charged me and kicked me out of the reach of the fire’s light.
Into the thick devouring darkness waiting eagerly for me.
The darkness embraces me and pulls me off my feet. I hear the gasps and cries of some of the dancers. “She will be eaten alive!” “You have killed her!”
I do not struggle against the darkness, though. I allow it to take me. I turn towards it much like one turns towards their beloved. When it devours my face, I do not cry out. It doesn’t hurt. It almost tickles.
The darkness sets me down on my feet. My face has been devoured down to the skull. My eyes have been sucked out of the orbits. But I do not bleed. I have no pain.
I can hear the darkness chewing my flesh. It grips me and faces me away from the fire again. Instead of swallowing, it spits the masticated gore back onto my exposed skull. A thousand tendrils come from the darkness and reforms my face. Its work complete, it turns me towards the fire and gently pushes me back within the fire’s reach.
I raise my hands to feel my face. It has been changed, but I do not feel where. With the new eyes, I am able to see myself completely. I know to those that see plain, my face is normal. To those that see, my face is the color of dust and ashes. I wear the markings of the deathmask.
Most of the other dancers are afraid of me and crowd on the other side of the fire to avoid me. Two come to me willingly. I know they see, but they are not afraid. To them, my costume just became a little more elaborate than before. They know I am still the same dancer I was before.
“See! She dances alone! That is why the darkness did not kill her! She is already dead! She dances alone, in the darkness!” I did not refute his charge. It is forbidden to dance alone, because the darkness could take you. But there is no law about what to do when the darkness gives you back.
The Old Man clears his throat. He has obviously had enough of this interruption. From his seated position on the carved stool he examines me. A grunt is his only opinion of the situation.
Aea-aia-a’ma! O-yo’oea! The Old Man cries out as if nothing had happened, and begins to sharply rap his sticks again.
~clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack~
Ha! … Ho! … Ai! Ai! Ai!
Some of us fall to the dance at once. Stepping over a couple that have fallen in fright. The one that shoved me storms to the Old Man, still accusing me of blasphemies. The Old Man stares at the furred male. And snorts.
Those that did not fall back into the dance, realize the issue has been made irrelevant. All that matters is we complete what we had set out to do.
I notice my dance steps have changed somewhat, but I also notice the change is still in harmony with the greater dance.
We settle back into following the Old Man’s lead, until all that could be heard was the rapping of his sticks.
~clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack~