Dear Tourists to the Dreaming,
Chances are, everyone you interact with is going to appear human at first. This is because of your limited imagination. (That’s okay. With exercise, you can increase that.) To make your time in the Dreaming more comfortable, please remember these simple guidelines:
- Not everything that appears human, is.
- Even if they tell you they are human, do not assume they are.
- Unless you have means of verifying they are human, assume they are not.
- Everyone likes to fuck with tourists. Everyone.
- A little politeness & hospitality goes a long way.
- Giving as good as you get can get you further.
- If the black feathered monster that reminds you of Howl tells you to avoid the very pleasant looking table set with all sorts of goodies, telling you flat out it’s a trap meant to take advantage of your greed and hubris, you might want to listen to it.
- Appearances are very deceiving.
- Be a dick to me, I’ll carry your skull by the eye sockets even if your spirit is still trapped in it.
- “May I…?”, “Please… ?”, and “Thank you.”, when spoken with legitimate intent, can make your visit much more pleasant. “May I have the skull of that tourist you just killed, please? If you don’t mind, I’m going to roast it on this fire here, unless you want the tourist to hang around longer. Thank you!”
- Read more fairytales. Not the Disney bullshit pablum. The old ones. The ones that make you uncomfortable.
- Don’t piss off the natives.
Just remember humanity is pretty low on the food chain in the Dreaming, and you’ll have the necessary paranoia to keep you from sticking your foot in a predator’s mouth. Some Dreaming residents like conversing with humans, but do not bring hubris with you. You are a guest in their world.
Stop being a dick.
Or next time, I won’t end your suffering and join the feast instead.
Sincerely, Ashface Bloodtalon.