Last night I got too close to something and was flooded by its anguish, pain, betrayal, and regret. It took me a while to realize the emotions were not mine, but even after that, the source was so strong and close, I couldn’t block it out.
It knew I was affected. I felt its sorrow at my shuddering. But its pain had been buried for too long and it had to scream or self-destruct. I told it to continue. I would be okay. I’ve been pinched by that vise before.
I told it to continue pouring over me. I would dance it out, shake it free. I knew by morning, I’ll be myself. But this deep a wound must be tended.
Such a blaze I became. I screamed to shake the foundations of the world. Not of any pain by the fire, there was none. But the pain of being betrayed by one that was loved, and obeyed, to perfection. Of being condemned for following orders.
I could take no more and I crumpled into a heap in the cold darkness. I felt hands on my back, and a gentle darkness draped over me. No words were spoken as it emanated apologies and poured warm strength into me.
In its warm embrace, I fell into deeper sleep.
I felt someone holding my shoulders and the touch jarred me to sudden awareness. Snake, in his green regalia, was kneeling by the fire without our lair, holding me gently. “Hush. It’s gone. You’re safe.” I tried to sit up. Oh, I ache. “No. Just rest here. You need to sort which emotions and thoughts are yours and which are not.” I only nodded.
I already had done so. Yes, I did feel residual churning, but it was like the aftermath of a good book. Or a tragic play. I was an actress on the stage, nothing more. Emotionally, I would be okay. Physically I need to rest.
I relaxed into Snake’s concerned arms and drifted back into deeper sleep.
…
It’s now morning. I have food and coffee. And a deep want to dance about a fire, to feel dust and ashes between my toes.