Three days ago, Horatio puppy-eyed me into allowing him to borrow the sealed and vacant trinkets. My conditions were the trinkets were to remain sealed AND empty AND return with nothing on them that wasn’t there when I allowed him to borrow them. He accepted.
And noted as he started to depart his task would be better served with those conditions, as my scent on the trinkets would mask what he would carry later.
Hold the fuck up. What task? What is he carrying?
He hemmed and hawed and said it was better if I did not know the details. Only that it was a task I would approve (yea, sure), and he was not doing anything malicious (I might believe that), but was trying to keep something from a fate it didn’t deserve.
“Does it involve children?”
“Yes, Madam.” Well, fuck. I’m not that evil, yet.
“You’re smuggling something?”
“Yes.”
“In or out?”
“Through.”
“You have three days. Don’t make me come after you OR the trinkets.”
“Yes, Madam.”
Last night, he came back. Dusty and dirty. A torn shirt. A crumpled hat. A beaming grin that shamed the sun. True to his word, the trinkets came back to me unblemished. As if they had been tucked in a forgotten pocket while he took on the world. No alien scent, no unnatural texture. Still sealed. Still vacant.
“Is it still better that I don’t know?” He smiled a rascal’s grin. “Yes. It’s still better that you don’t know, Madam.”
“How did your opponent fare, that you come in as from a bar fight?” He laughed. He sat down and laughed the greatest and richest peals I have ever heard from living or dead.
“It kicked my ass, Madam. What you see is after I have recovered. It kicked my ass without disturbing a hair. But I have emerged the victor, having taken care of what needed taking care of. And your trinkets are the reason for my success. Thank you, Madam.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you.”
“Not voluntarily. But I still say, you don’t want to know.”
“Well, tell me this, [Horatio], did you go against mine or my allies?”
Horatio stood up, took his bent hat off his head and kneeled before me. “Madam, I never approached any that know of you as ally. And I’ll test my limits with you before I test yours. I know better. No, Madam, none of those boundaries were crossed.”
Okay… I can accept that. I ask him will I find out eventually. “If all goes well, no, you won’t.”
Uh-huh.
Translation: I’m going to get a ‘knock’ on my ‘door’ any moment.
Time to get the coffee. And the rum.