Dream Journal: 2013-06-08.02

Him: We’re not that different, you know. Different cultures, difference languages, but deep down, we’re the same.

Me: …

Him: You just hadn’t come into your own when you met me. You were being held down after all. All monsters are cute when young, and even terrors are adorable when they’re all fuzzy-wuzzy.

Me: …

Him: I don’t know why you still hold a grudge against me.

Me: Because after I uncovered your lies, after I settled that between us, you still went and torched [a thing] that was dear to [a clanmate]. For no other reason, than you could.

Him: Ah. How can you hold that against me? What was it you said? ‘Can’t be mad at the scorpion for stinging. A scorpion does as a scorpion is.’ Yes. That is what you said.

Me: …

Him: I know you will never bend the knee to me again. I’m just saying instead of trying to burn each other out, we could…

Me: Fuck you. Even with this you’re bullshitting. I don’t go against yours. I’ve cut my public words to keep from wounding one of yours. And we both know how that wound up, despite my care.

Him: Everything you touch, you burn, Keri. Everything. You can’t help it. Fire is what you are.

Me: …

Him: You allow yourself to be bound in a lantern, a light for everyone but yourself. I can unleash you. I can blow your spark into a maelstrom that no one can harness but you.

Me: If I want to learn how to be a wildfire, I know a Djinn that can teach me. Say, aren’t you crossing a few no-no’s harassing me?

Him: I haven’t touched you. Or yours.

Me: You’re close enough to me that I can smell your mother’s flowers. Look, you beautiful temptation, knock the shit off. I don’t know why you wanted me to witness [A Match in a Methane Pit] or notarize [that other unpublicized thing], but both have been handed off to the intended audiences. As much as your very presence stokes my rage, I’m not taking the bait. I want nothing to do with you.

Him: Have I not shown you benevolence? How to function as Outcast and Unwanted?

Me: You have. You have also shown me madness, betrayal, exploitation, and gaslighting. You have saved me from giants, and thrown me into cages. I have seen all facets of you, even that bound underneath. And I have walked away. Why haven’t you?

Him: You’re fun.

Me: You have other toys.

Him: None like you.

Me: No. Loki, son of Laufey. I will not dance with you. I will not break bread with you. You’re up to some shit, and while I haven’t figured out if you’re running one of Odin’s schemes, or if you’re just fucking with me because you can, but you have ‘machinations’ written all over you. Step the fuck off. I do not belong to you.

Him: It doesn’t take much to stoke your candle flame into a pyre.

Me: Is that what happened to that [allegorical] bridge?

Him: Maybe. Come with me. No strings attached. Just… accompany me… and find out.

Me: You’re as bad as [a certain House]. Don’t know when to quit. Always trying to drag me back into shit that I don’t belong in. You’re right about one thing.

Him: I’m beautiful?

Me: Heh. No. And you’re not. I can’t stay mad at you, because you are doing just as you are. I just have to keep my cool when you show up, and everything works out.

Him: See. Let’s go.

Me: Good-bye, Loki.


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