When seeing a woman at the bar sitting by herself, but with two glasses on the table, do not assume that is an open invitation for you to sit at the apparently empty seat and drink from said glass.
When finding yourself suddenly surrounded by other people and being glared at by a stern man with a peppery cigar that is asking you who the fuck you are for sitting uninvited, do not answer that you are better than him.
When challenged to a game of poker with the strangely stoic woman as dealer, and asked what you care to wager, do not be so arrogant as to wager your “ass, balls, and dick”.
When you realize the cards being used are “devil cards” (read: tarot), and you realize you are unable to leave the table until the hand is played out, do not piss on yourself from fright. That upsets the dealer.
When the dealer (with permission from the House) offers you a Last Chance where you’ll be allowed to leave the table without finishing the hand (and thus keeping what you have wagered) but at the cost of your lies being unraveled, you should take it. You really should.
When you lose the game, don’t cry. There have been many a person that has had a long winning streak against this man, but in the end, they lose to him. They all lose to him. The point of the game is not to win, but to enjoy the game itself.
When you realize you are able to leave the table, and that you are physically intact and no one is rising to physically claim what you have wagered, do not hurl a multitude of expletives, curses, and derogatory statements at the dealer, the Man, nor others still sitting at the table.
He always gets what’s been promised him.
Always.
Just not in the form others expect.
You promised him your ass, your balls, and your dick. Whether he takes that as a colloquialism, or literally, we shall all find out in time.
~shuffles cards~
Unless, you wish to double down and play again.
~smiles~
~sound of cards being shuffled~