Boy: “I’m going on an adventure!”
Everyone: “Don’t go into the water conduit. You’ll drown.”
Boy: “I’m going to get the treasure from the water conduit!”
Everyone: “Don’t go into the water conduit, you stupid fuck! The current is stronger than any man can swim!”
Boy: “I’m going to get the treasure from the water conduit and use the current to come out the other end before I drown. I dropped a float in there and it came out in three minutes!”
Everyone: “Don’t go into the water conduit, dipshit! There is a grate halfway through that protects the inner lake from anything larger than a basketball! The current will hold you against it!”
Boy: “Don’t tell me what to do! I know what I’m doing! I read all about free diving!”
Everyone: “Weaver!”
Weaver: “He’s his own person. Y’all have done your duty. I can’t stop him.”
Boy: “You’re not going to tell me not to go?”
Weaver: “Why should I? You’re 17. If you’re not going to listen to everyone else, why are you going to listen to me?”
Boy: “Um. Should I go?”
Weaver: “No.”
Boy: “I’m going to prove you all wrong! And I’ll have the treasure from the water conduit! You’ll see!”
Water conduit: “Mine now, bitch. Let your flesh dissolve. Your bones are mine!” Boy drowns.
Weaver: “Oh hey, I’mma take the boy’s bones now.”
Water conduit: “Y U NO DROWN?”
Weaver: ~releases boy’s bones from the grating~ “Better luck next life.”
Everyone: “We claim the treasure!”
Weaver: “Left the treasure in the conduit. You want it? Figure out a way to get it without drowning.”
Everyone: “Y U NO GET TREASURE?”
Weaver: “Because I know what the treasure is. I know why the treasure is there. And I’m not doing your dirty work for you.”
Everyone: “Wait. There really is a treasure in there?” ~starts fighting over who owns the treasure and who is going to claim it~
Land Spirits: “You’re not going to tell them what it is, are you?”
Weaver: “Nope.”
Land Spirits: “If they go after it, they’ll die.”
Weaver: “Yup.”
Land Spirits: “And you’re not going to warn them?”
Weaver: “Nope.”
Land Spirits: “Why?”
Weaver: “If I tell them, they won’t believe me because it will go against what they believe and lust after. The truth has been in front of their faces this entire time. The more I try to warn them off, the more determined they will be to get what isn’t there. Fuck ‘em.”
Land Spirits: “You used to be known for your compassion. What happened to you?”
Weaver: “Humanity.”
Half the villagers drowned the first day of the scramble for the treasure. The treasure was the reverse osmosis system that provided their lake with fresh water. They did not see fresh water as a treasure to keep. They only saw high value metal. Fuck ’em.