Deity: S’up Weaver.
Me: Hey, long time no harass. To what do I owe this delightful visit?
~friendly chit chat commences~
Deity: Listen, I need you to keep an eye out for [Tumblrite].
Me: You know damn well I don’t do babysitting.
Deity: It’s not babysitting. I’m not asking you to save [them] from [themselves]. I’m just saying if [they] come to you for advice, you treat them square.
Me: Don’t I always?
Deity: I’m not talking about the shape of the bites you take out of people’s ass.
~mutual laughter~
Me: Okay. Serious. Why would [Tumblrite] come to me for advice, when it’s quite publicly clear that I’m on the outs with your pantheon and as mercenary as Weaver Fett. I have no authority regarding you and yours. It has been declared on both sides [of the Veil].
Deity: [Because reasons.]
Me: Are you trying to get me lynched?
Deity: Don’t I always?
Me: ~side eye~
Deity: ~bright laughter~
Me: IF! And I do mean if, [Tumblrite] asks, I’ll be right and proper with [them]. Because I have no reason not to be even without your formal request. But I’m not going to chase [Tumblrite] down for it. [They] are going to have to come to me, and preferably private, so [they] don’t get shit on for just asking me questions.
Deity: Careful. Your concern for your fellow humans is showing.
Me: ~harrumph~
Deity: One more thing…
Me: ~stone face and cold~ What.
Deity: Would you make this conversation public?
Me: ~rapping fingers on the table~ The fuck for?
Deity: Hide names however you like. The more plain the better actually. Because [Tumblrite] has a hard time hearing me. Fear muffles things. But [they’ll] know this conversation is about [them].
Me: I’m not your priestess. I’m not your [insert all the titles here]. I do not serve you. I am the Mongrel at the Fence. YOU know this.
Deity: Funny, I heard you were the [Black Wolf] and the [Raven Name Here]. I’ve heard a few other things about you as well, but this isn’t the time for that. Will you at least open the door so [they] may pass? It’s up to [them] if to step through. And I’ll be waiting if [they] do. ~makes that face that only [Deity] can make~
Me: … I’m such a sucker.
Deity: Thank you! I’ve got to get going, and so do you.
On waking I was confused by the calendar. I would wonder if this conversation took place a week ago, but [Deity] made reference to a thing I only heard about last night. Somebody hand me a bowl of coffee grounds and some half-n-half. I have breakfast to catch up on.
* Tumblrite: (noun) A person that has an active account with Tumblr.