One species of aliens aggressively courted me to join Earth’s Goodwill Exchange Team and be immersed in their culture. But their culture was more emotionally exposed than I was used to and I declined fearing that I would lose myself completely.
A second species of aliens immediately demanded that I be immersed in their culture. But where the first species wanted to keep me, the second species wanted to get me away from oversight so I could meet with a tragic but completely random incident resulting in my death.
The same quality that the first species valued, was considered a threat by the second.
I finally ran into a third species that was observing the interactions between humanity and the others. They explained why the focus was on me.
“You feel.”
I feel… what? Emotions? Tactile sensations? Is my spirit rough or does it feel bumpy? The fuck is that supposed to mean? I feel.
Fuck.
I’ll take that coffee now.
Re: Symbolism of aliens in my dreams.
I’m not saying it’s aliens. I’m saying it’s never aliens. Since I started taking a harder look at my dreams, I’ve realized every notable dream I’ve had that features aliens, is really something else dressed up in Sci-Fi. Any fantasy setting I’ll immediately take magnifying glass to and poke at the hastily done seams. But Sci-Fi? That takes place in a world of make-believe. That’s not anywhere near my reality. (Sez the person typing on a tablet she first saw in Star Trek. And pocket cell phones. And video conferencing. And…) So because it doesn’t (consciously) approach the realm of Could Be, I’m not as attentive. Which means the beatings dreams will repeat until morale improves I understand the other symbols involved.
Sci-Fi is also where I’ll daydream. And daydreams are all about wish-fulfillment. Which is another reason why I side eye any dreams about aliens. Is this something else, or is this my id having a sandbox to play out suppressed desires? Or worse, is it something else taking advantage of my id’s sandbox to give me a thing. That is how I wound up with the dead eye and the black hand, after all.
The last time I allowed myself the luxury of idly daydreaming, the scenario got hijacked by something else masquerading as… aliens. I can’t tell friend from foe there. Even when I split my awareness so one shard is participating, and the other shard is the neutral distanced observer, I still can’t tell what is a construction of fantasy, and what is intentional interference.
I’m dreaming about aliens again, in that particular way. The scenario of the Friendly Aliens being super duper over eager for me to immerse myself in their culture repeated four days/nights straight. Each time, I was able to bring the scenario to a halt and start asking the hard questions. Each time, the answer was, “We can’t explain it to you. You have to experience it.”
The fifth day/night, Hostile Aliens had entered the scene and managed to isolate me from the Friendlies under a bullshit excuse. They made no attempts to immerse/integrate me in their culture, but went to great pains to make sure I could not influence any of their lower caste members. It was clear, they wanted me to not be able to return, and some of the tasks I was sent to do should have resulted in my untimely and unfortunate demise. When they interrogated interviewed me, I was able to take control of the scenario and interview them. Why did they want me dead so damn bad? “To keep you away from [the Friendly Aliens].”
They ended the scenario immediately.
See… Shit like this is not helping my ego, my paranoia, or my sense of self-importance. Not one damn bit.