He appeared at the periphery of my senses. Running at top speed, it was his intent to breach my defenses. They held, bouncing him back towards the darkness. He came again, but stopped at the boundary and was unable to come closer. He was close enough to speak though. I’m still not sure why I stuck around to listen.
Him: “All I wanted was for you to be happy.”
Me: “And in love with you.”
H: “You were happy!”
M: “I was coerced, blinded, and manipulated.”
H: “But you were happy…”
M: “You made sure you never saw the tears, or if you did, you made sure I knew my mental instabilities made them untrustworthy.”
H: “But I only saw you happy…”
M: “And that is what makes these encounters so sad, dream or spiritwalking. No one is ever all happy, all the time. Never. Only the inhuman can be so. You tried to make a fantasy into a reality, and made me into a doll for your games. You only saw me happy because your own mental instabilities would not allow you to see otherwise.”
H: “Are you saying I’m wrong here! That it’s all my fault! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY! I’M NOT THE CRAZY ONE HERE!”
M: “No. I wanted to be happy, too. So I allowed myself to be chained because I thought that was the only way I could be happy. But I’m human. Never mind what the pieces of my spirit are, I am still human flesh and human blood and there are some things that being human takes precedence over. Like happiness.”
H: “YOUR FRIENDS PUT YOU UP TO THIS!”
M: “My friends are why I’m still alive. It took them a while before I saw the truth they were holding up to my face.”
H: “YOU WERE HAPPY!”
M: “I WAS DELUSIONAL!”
H: “You said you loved me.”
M: “I did. Once. But I can’t trust those feelings now.”
H: “I want you back. Here. In my arms. Like it was before…”
M: “It was lies before.”
H: “You were happy. I only wanted you to be happy.”
M: “I was enslaved and not in control of my mind nor body. I wasn’t happy.”
H: “If you weren’t happy, you would have killed yourself. I saved you from committing suicide!”
M: “You kept me on that knife edge so you could rescue me over and over. My Knight in Shining Armor. My Savior. Did you notice I only had the severe fits when you were around? My friends did.”
H: “Come back to me.”
M: “No.”
H: “I’ll make you come back to me.”
M: “You’ve tried.”
H: “I own you.”
M: “Once I thought you did. That too, was a lie. You don’t own me. Not even the scars you have left behind are yours. That too, is mine.”
The scene darkens as thick and palpable shadows collect around us.
H: “Call them off.”
M: “Can’t do that.”
H: “CALL THEM OFF!”
M: “They don’t answer to me.”
H: “They can’t keep me from you! I can reach you anytime, just like now!”
M: “Each time is harder and harder. I’ve been paying attention. It costs you dearly to reach me. I’ve been trying to figure out if this time you are a manifestation of my regret, a projection of [you], or your ghost. If they are here, then you are not my cosplaying regret. It’s really you. Or a part of you.” I stand up and stretch. “Or what’s left of you. Either way, you are a fading page of history.”
The shadows move between him and me, isolating us from each other. Not that he was ever able to even reach for me in the first place.
H: “This isn’t over! Remember [Persia]! Our next lives, you’ll see… you’ll be happy again… with me.”
M: ~laughs~ “I finally had that vetted, you know. Persia was a lie. Happenstance that was greatly embellished by you and your wishful thinking. Happenstance that won’t be repeated. There will be no more shared sunrises. No more shared moments. Not in this life or any that may come.”
Horatio appears behind me and bows. “Master. [The shadows] say you should depart now. What is to come does not concern you.”
I turn and take his arm. “What is here does not concern me either. I really need to stop indulging Nostalgia. I have work to do. I have a kingdom to rule.”
~exeunt~