Normal size goat with abnormal sized coat. Poor thing was a fuzzball 6 feet wide. He came to me and rasped to get my attention. ~phhbthpthbttpthtbthth~
“I heard goats are evil. Dream ones especially.”
~baaaa~ ~aaaaa~ /spit
“Did [a particular person] send you?”
~murmumrumaaaaphbhttbphpht!~
“I’ll take that as a negative. What’s up?”
He maneuvered himself so my hand was behind his head and at the beginning of the overgrown pelt. That’s when I noticed he not only had goat horns, but the antlers of a buck. 5 small tines on each antler. When I shifted my hand to touch the antlers, I brushed against the coat. It broke off at the skin, exposing angry red scalp.
“Ah! Shit! You okay?”
~baaaa~ ~mumurmum~
He pushed forward against my hand and more of the unnatural wool broke away. If my afro grew larger than my body I’d want it off too! It didn’t take much. Just a touch forced the mass to separate. As I pulled the coat away, his noises became more like sounds of relief than aggression. Peeling the coat off of him only took a few minutes. It turned inside out as he kicked off the last of it.
~aaaaaaaaaphbhtphtbtht!~
“Your welcome, dude. Wait. Oh my god! How did he get here?” Trapped in the coat was the remains of a person. Male, I think. I could make out the remains of a smock. Thigh high mud wader boots. But the person was reduced to bones. Roaches swarmed over and in the remains. “Eww. No wonder your coat was giving you a hard time.”
The goat nodded. I had kneeled to take a good look at the interior of the mass and was about to get up when I noted the goat was charging at me with speed. He stopped just short of collision and gently headbutted me.
“Aw! Thank you. You’re awesome too! Never seen a goat with buck antlers. Need any more help recovering from that mess?”
He tossed his head over his shoulder. ~AAAAAAAAAAPHTBHThtbtphtht!~
“Right. Well. I’m off. Have fun, dude. Enjoy your freedom!”
He nodded then started jumping around like young goats do. His exposed skin was looking much better already. A few more exultations and he bounced away with a glee that would make Tigger jealous.
“Wait till I tell [asksecularwitch] about this!”