I dreamt I sat in a private library, going over again the map that described the mountain that I now understand to be just as part of the Abyss as the tightrope that led me to it. My hands traced the marks and the lines, but this time matching my memory to the symbols. There is the Warring Fields, and there is the cliff where the Abyss started. There is the Endless River that is but one part of the Abyss and there are the paths that are drawn to indeterminate ends suggesting success but I now know to lead back to nothingness. And there is the summit, except there is where the map lied the greatest.
I expected it to lie from the beginning. Half the fun was finding out where and how.
His questions blew to life a fire I thought was cold. “What lies at the bottom of that mountain? What if you climbed down instead of up?”
Well, shit. I hadn’t considered that. None of this is physically real. Why would it have a bottom?
Why wouldn’t it?
I barely understand the paradigm I’m playing in. If the summit of that mountain is Binah, then what would be Binah’s opposite? If there is a Tree of Life, is there a Tree of Death? Is the Qlippoth a thing? Does that apply to the bastardized version of Kabbalah I’m stumbling around in?
And where the flying fuck does that Emperor card hang and what the fuck is its letter?!
The map does not hold any symbols to answer these.
I may wind up having to draw my own.