The Sunbird called me into the desert, where he set me to dancing by beating my legs with his wings of fire. Once I caught the beat and continued without his encouragement, he changed himself from a fiery eagle to a man in a draping black cloak and a headdress of black and red feathers. He looked entirely different, but when I looked in his eyes (his different yet bright shining eyes), he was still the same entity. He jumped before me and danced with me, our steps complementary to each other. When he changed, the bright day of the desert darkened into near pitch black darkness. But it was still day.
When I looked at him, I understood.
The Eclipsed Sun danced with me in silence for a moment, then he suddenly grabbed my arm in mid jump and traded places with me. My appearance changed even though I was still the same person.
“[Three Black Feathers], don’t you think it’s time for a new name?” We continued dancing as he asked. My appearance changed into a Native American Indian body, skin, face, and hair. Instead of my black feather coat, I wore a hide shift with elaborate hanging beadwork hanging off of it so it would make a “kshksh” sound as I danced. In my hair were tied three small leather medallions, and on each medallion was one large and long black feather. If anyone that knew Keri’s shape were to see [Three Black Feathers], they would not recognize me. But it was me. The same way the Eclipsed Sun was the Sunbird. “It has been a long time since you needed to wear that name. You need a new name.”
“I have many names. They are all temporary, like the one you wear now, Eclipsed Sun.”
“Ah, but I am not the Eclipsed Sun. I am just one. Just like you are not the [Three Black Feathers], just a [Three Black Feathers] when you needed to be. When the name no longer suits you, you can drop it and take up another. And it no longer suits you.”
“[Eldest Mother] called me that, when I was Under The Hill, when the [skin stealer] used my face. It fits even now, you know. I have a weakness for the number three, I wear feathers, and they are black.”
The Eclipsed Sun stopped dancing and opened his cloak. The darkness that was under his cloak spread out over the landscape turning the eclipsed day into a moonless night. “And now? What have I become? Am I still an eclipsed sun? Can you see me? Or do you just have it on faith that I still am, only in a place where you can not see like the scientists and the astronomers would say. And does that faith take into account how I came to be here? And what am I, really?”
I stumbled in the sudden darkness. One of the feather medallions swung around and slapped me in the face. Being reminded who the Sunbird was hurt me and a tear escaped my attempts at stoicism. “You bastard.”, I whispered.
From around me, his laughter mocked me. “Ha-ha!” “Ho-ho!” “Hee-hee!”
“We’re nothing.” I knew what the laughter was referring to and spoke the last line from my memory.
“Who you remember, is gone. What I became, is leaving. If you persist in looking at what was, how will you recognize what will be?” The Sunbird alighted on my shoulder. Impossibly brilliant and gleaming in a landscape that swallowed light, I could see him clearly but at the same time not see him at all. “There was a time when the name [Three Black Feathers] suited you. That time is gone.” He plucked the three feather medallions out of my hair. I transformed into Weaver Ravencloaked when the third medallion was removed. He spread his wings, dominating the immediate area with his light. I saw we were standing on an mound of red ants. They were ignoring me as if I was a mere rock. Instead, they were hard at work pulling apart the leather and feathers, dismantling what [Eldest Mother] had tied in my hair. Once he saw I had seen the spectacle, he folded his wings and the moonless night greedily hugged us.
“Who will name me this time, Sunbird?”
“Wrong question. You already know the answer to that, but you are afraid of it.”
“I don’t want to fuck this up, Sunbird.
“You shouldn’t have been born then! Ha! Messy thing, human flesh. Just by being, you have already erred. But look! What great works you can create to correct your errors!”
I shrugged in vain to dislodge the bastard. He only laughed at my emotional discomfort. I changed the subject to a more painful, but more tolerable topic. “Are you leaving me, Sunbird? Is it time for you to fully go?”
The Sunbird was silent for a very long time. He lowered his beak to my ear and whispered, “I was never here to begin with.”
He clapped his great wings around my head and I fell, stunned. When I awoke, I was at a low burning campfire in the desert in the middle of the night, alone, and crying.
That bastard.