Sick. Fever. Closed my eyes for five hot seconds and be confronted by a very angry Set.
”So when are you going to get your happy little ass to my temple so we can get this party started?”
”Huh? Dude. That was /six years ago/. And besides, I never promised myself to you.”
”That’s because that fucker Loki hijacked your ass!” Set stomps around venting about that red-haired stepchild boundary breaking motherfucker while I sit down on the ground in a dizzy stupor.
”Dude. Duuuuuude. Heh.” I started laughing which did not improve Set’s mood. ”So a funny thing happened on the way to your temple. A lot of funny things. Which is kinda good because once I learned less flufftastic shit about you, I realized I would have traded one set of leashes for another. Now, I’m not sure if you’re /that/ Set or if you’re some masquerading entity looking for an easy lunch, but in hindsight of all I have done since that day I decided I would be a Setian, you should be glad I’m not your devotee. Do you know how much /shit/ I would have started?”
My laughter echoed off the ground. It felt like chthonic forces were agreeing with me.
”Yea, well, you still promised yourself to me! And I will be collecting what is mine!”
”You’re not Set. Not the Set I was headed to before Loki derailed my train. I may not know all the Kemetic pantheon, but I’ve met enough to know the general flavor. You are not Set. Do you know what that means?”
”That I should drag you by force since you won’t come peacefully!”
The ambient light was fading. No. It was being devoured by the forces in the ground under me. But I did not feel threatened by those same chthonic forces. They swarmed over me in comforting wisps of shadow. The would-be Set was backing away from them. The Set I know about would have challenged them.
”I am my own. Six years ago I was headed to the temple of Set for all the wrong reasons. While the aftermath of Loki’s derailment has been painful, I must agree that the alternative would have been worse. You are trying to collect a false debt. Set never filed a claim on me nor acknowledged my vain wishing was valid. No one stepped forward to challenge Loki’s unlawful hold on me until I recognized it as invalid.” The shadows formed a growing cocoon around me, pulling me into the warmly cold ground. ”That means you are an imposter. Wearing Set’s visage to scoop up the gullible, the naive, and the ignorant. That means you are just as much prey as the rest of us. Too bad I’m sick. I wonder what form is going to come break your ass in two.”
The false Set watched impotently as the chthonic cocoon finished forming the un-grave around me. I mumbled a thanks as the temperature helped relieve the horrid headache that comes when fevers break.
Never did see what became of the false Set.
No chocolate for him.