I closed my eyes for five hot seconds…
And after [B] finishes chewing my ass out for not doing my homework like I was supposed to, he takes it upon himself to give me a lesson anyway despite the lack of prep work. “So, let’s talk about your birthday because you don’t want to.”
He pulls out the two tarot minor arcana that represents my birthday (Cusp.) and shows two diagrams of the Tree of Life and where each card falls along with the planet associated with it. But instead of just leaving it to the surface (read: book) interpretations, he goes deeper into the associations and how the $Planet in $Sign, $Sephira in $World would play out while under the governance of the Sun because these cards are only representative of my Sun’s position in my natal chart.
We discussed my innate behaviors (and which learned behaviors were also influenced), my drives, and the repeating themes I have personally played out in my life. (As opposed to what roles I have been forced to play by others.) At the end of this discussion, I understood those two cards better, and had to agree that they really did reflect who I am when looking at Sol’s influence.
He reminded me that I will be severely handicapped if I try to continue [my bastardization of] Hermeticism without a competent and working knowledge of astrology. My complaint has always been that I could not see myself in my natal chart. That the Wanderers don’t lead me, and that other astrologers have had been less successful than a dartboard in reading my base traits. If I could not vet the information given, I could not trust astrology any further than the newspaper.
“Do you see yourself now?”
“Yes, Sir. I do.”
“You have work to do. I expect some sort of improvement.”
“Define “some sort”, Sir.”
“You understand the Sun’s position in your chart. Next time, I expect you to report the Moon’s position.”
“Yes, Sir.”
The dismissal was painless. This time.