Rummer John ran his fingers over the one token I must wear at all times. The mark of [the one] that crowns me. The one god that actually owns me.
“So, Girl. Tell me about [certain future plans]. Are things still going to go as you think they are?”
Of course, he asks me this as I am in mid sip. I watch his delicate handling of the token. It’s strange to see him treat something with such reverence. I keep the glass to my lips and turn only my eyes.
He pats the token and leaves his hand resting on it as he leans in.
“Answer me.”
I want to answer with expletives. I want to answer with tears. I want to answer with a rage so intense, it melts the glass in my hands. The Law of Unintended Consequences has just revealed itself. Another long game of manipulation has tied my ass in a pretty knot that I can not escape from.
I had to swallow hard to keep my voice steady and reverent. “Now that you’ve brought the matter to mind, I don’t know, Sir. If [that one god] decides to overrule my plans, I will be prevented from completing them.”
Rummer John sat back in his chair with smug satisfaction. But he kept his hand on the token, pinning me to the table. “That means you’ll have to ask permission to follow through, won’t it. You belong to [that one god], after all.”
I finished the drink and set the glass down with my free hand. “Yes, Sir. It does.”
He patted the token before releasing me entirely. As he poured me another shot, he spoke so low, I almost didn’t hear him.
“Want out?”
The black rum turned thickly in the cracked glass. I reached for it out of habit with the hand bearing the token and stopped before touching the glass. I thought of all that has been allowed to me by the weight of the token. I thought of what was to come and shuddered in fear of seeing my worst concerns realized.
“No. I gave my word. I can’t back out. The only way to make that agreement void is to fulfill it. I’d have to die a third time. And you know what they say about third times, you know.” I closed my empty hand and withdrew.
He pulled the glass of turbid rum back and replaced it with a glass of something peppery, red, and strong enough to boost jet fuel. His favorite rum.
“Drink up, then.”
It burned going down as it usually does. I belched a little flame as I usually do. We both laughed at the display in our usual manner. But I felt colder than the bottom of the swamp inside.
He watched me silently, not acknowledging that I was shivering from fear. “We need to have a talk, you and I. You’re allowing yourself to be distracted again. I know that chap and his fellow have you working a thing or two over there, but they don’t own you. Not like [that one god] does.” He stabbed the table when referring to that chap and his fellow. It was not a gentle motion.
“Sir. Do you have a claim on me?” It was something I had always wondered but never directly asked. To my ears, the question was innocent and simple.
I regretted speaking it the moment Rummer John turned his full attention to me. He said nothing, but the chill in my bones spread to my flesh and I felt faint under his gaze.
“In a way.” He reached up and fingered the purple satin ribbon tied neatly at my neck. “But not in that way. Ours is a mutual relationship, after all. You can stop coming here at any time. I can remove this ribbon at any time. Otherwise, I have the same claim over you as I do over all men. It is the same claim as others of my station. It is the same claim as him.”
He stabbed the table with his finger again and the entire swamp shuddered.
“Remember that, Girl. I know what you have with him and his fellow. I know where you’ve been running up and down. And if that’s what it takes to wake you up, then that’s what it takes. But I also know about [that other place] and [the mud that remains]. There is what you think you are, and what you are. I’ll tolerate the former while it amuses me, but I will always support the latter.”
He poured another shot of his peppery rum for me, but it was as reactive as water going down. Fear had numbed me completely.
“Are we going to have that talk, tonight?”
“No. You have a lot of work in the morning, and need to get some rest. Just giving you a heads up, that’s all.”
I nodded in silent answer. The accumulation of rum caught up with me and I very ungraciously started to lean back in my chair. He laughed as I was pulled into a deeper sleep.
I had no mirth to join his with.
It felt like drowning.