Wasn’t even mad, bro! It was fucking hilarious! Phalli going out of where the person had been bitten. (Eh, tw: body horror? Phallus dentata.) A giant ten-boner thing that rolled like a sea urchin and crushed cars in its wake. The creator of these creatures laughing that he is going to rule the world with the power of his dick.
Just…
Really? Fucking really?
When the ten-shaft thing fell down the park stairs, I lost it. Tumble-tumble-tumble-splat. I started laughing and hurt its tender feelings. A shaft deflated. So now there’s 9 bloated appendages jiggling in a vaguely threatening manner if I squint my eyes and look sideways, and one wrinkled sausage skin dangling in the breeze.
Shit: Completely lost.
The more I laughed, the more it deflated. With the “juggernaut” done for, the rest of the troops didn’t stand a chance. Survivors came to see what I was laughing so hard about, and at the sight of hundreds of phalli deflating like a old balloon, they started laughing too.
Once the zombie phalli shriveled up, they fell off the victim, and the victim returned to their former self. After getting over the shock of being surrounded by what looked like thousands of used condoms, they stood up and laughed at the absurdity of the situation with us.
We saved the world. With laughter.
Oh, and the asshole that started all this? He started crying because we were being mean to him and calling his phallus creations bad names like “small”, “insignificant”, “not as good as Twilight”, and other emasculating epithets. Last I saw him before I left the dream, he was trying to bone up his army again, but instead they all collapsed on him and he was buried under the suffocating layers of… debris.
So. Yea. What the hell, brain. What the fucking hell.