Ominous Voice: “[blah blah blah] seeing stones [blah].”
Me: “Wait. Hold up. did you say seeing stones?”
OV: “No. I said show stones.”
Me: “Bullshit you did. Try again.”
OV: “Scrying stones.”
Me: “Okay, now I know I’m dreaming because you still haven’t said the same thing twice yet.”
OV: “… ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME?”
Me: “You must be new here. Hi. I’m an asshole. Kindly do the needful and tell me what you are trying not to say or I’m going to get on your nerves so bad, you’re gonna lose your religion. Either way, I win.”
OV: “… [blah blah blah] seer stones [blah].”
Me: “And there it is. Dude. You went to the wrong address. I’m not Mormon. Never was.”
OV: “But you are to obtain [image of particular stones go here] for the purposes of [image of particular action goes here].”
Me: “DUUUUUUUUDE. WRONG. FUCKING. ADDRESS. Besides, I already have a collection of eyes, and what you’re showing me is not of my specialty. You want someone not only more knowledgeable of Mormon mythology but someone that wants to go deeper in that fandom. Of which, I am neither. Sorry, dude, but your prophet is in another state.”
Librarian Voice: “Excuse me.”
Me: “You are excused, how may I help you?”
LV: “Oh, you’re much more polite than I had been led to believe. Has [a compatriot] visited you with a vision recently?”
Me: “The bugger may still be hanging around. I just shot ’em down by pointing out what ‘e was showing me to obtain was not on my authorized list.”
LV: “Oh dear, I was afraid of that. If I may inquire, what were you led to see?”
Me: “You may inquire. Seer stones. And the vision had overtones of Mormonism, which because of reasons, I want jacque shitte to do with. I do wonder if because of [a recent thing], the delivery addresses were mixed up.”
OV: “You are the intended recipient.”
Me: “Nope.”
LV: “Yes.”
Me: “Da fuq?”
OV: “THEN RECEIVE THE MESSAGE!”
LV: “No.”
Me & OV: “What?”
LV: “The message you received is not what you were supposed to receive. It has been… corrupted… somehow. Probably because of [a recent thing] being so recent, that it influenced your perception. If I may, I would like to transmit that message to you again, now that you know it has nothing to do with what you initially saw.”
OV: “I wanna tell it…”
Me: “My curiosity is piqued to dangerous levels. Sure. Why the hell not? I shall attempt to put aside recent activities in my life and receive your message without assumptions.”
LV: ~uses no words but instead shows images of things I have seen before to relay the message pictorially~
Me: “So… The message is about things like what I have seen, but not the exact things that are recalled. Because the exact things I have recalled belong to other people and other paradigms, but I am to use those things and those methods in a personal way according to my personal paradigm. And to stop getting hung up on the names of those things and pay attention to the purpose instead. Yes?”
LV: “Yes. Do you understand the message?”
Me: “Now I do, and it is one I have been receiving many times already, but rejecting because I kept getting hung up on the names of the items I’m seeing. I’m not to duplicate what those people are doing, or try to follow their paradigm, but to be inspired by what they have done and see how I can turn that inspiration into a tool for myself.”
LV: “Ah, good. I’m glad you were able to understand it, at last.”
Me: ~mirthful~ “If you know my history, then you know I’m going to file at least one complaint to be consistent.”
LV: “Of course! I’ve been looking forward to the obstacle you are going to set in front of yourself.”
Me: “Ouch. I deserved that. Anyways… I already have a bag full of [those things] for [that purpose]. What makes this different from what I already have?”
LV: ~friendly smug~ “One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong. Can you tell which thing is not like the others? By the time I finish my song?”
OV: “But they’re all the same…”
Me: “Oh, I see the difference. I have homework to do.”
LV: “I shall mark the message as successfully transmitted and received, then.”
Me: “Yes, and thank you for making the message clearer for me.”
LV: “You’re welcome. Come along, [OV], you have further training to complete.”
OV: “Okay… But I still don’t get why she’s nice to you…”
Me: “HEY! WAIT! I didn’t get what paradigm or pantheon you’re from!”
LV: “Yours.”
~all exeunt~