For all the times I’ve been here before, I finally noticed that the sky of the Warring Fields is black. Not sure if from smoke or if the crown of the sky is a helm in its own right. I can see just fine. I always have been able to see clearly here. At least when I haven’t been goaded into a berserker rage.
Not sure if I’m on the edge of the Warring Fields. Am sure there is no activity in the immediate vicinity behind me. In front of me, the legions drill and march and wrestle and spar and feign at peace even as they clash against each other. I watch all this with nearly curious indifference.
I have no idea why I’m here.
My helm isn’t heavy, it just has points and uncomfortable edges to have tucked under my arm for long. As I adjust my grip, I look down and realize that I’m in Roman style leather armor but I have no weapon. I reason that my lack of weapon is why I haven’t been accosted by any of the soldiers here. It’s not like my physical stature is going to be seen as any shade of threat, real or imagined.
I look around for any sign of authority or any unusual action or person and find none. It’s just another day on the Warring Fields and all able hands are either training for war in their own way or preparing to set out for war in their own way. No one comes here for peace and so I felt it was best that I take my leave.
I pull the helm from out of the crook of my arm with full intention to don it and leave unnoticed by slipping into the darkness behind me. I got as far as turning around when my plan escaped my thoughts as I came to a complete stop to keep from running into the person that was standing behind me in perfect silence.
The Commander of the Warring Legion looked down at me. The faceplate, like all the metal on the Commander’s armor, was matte black. And yet I could make out enough features to note that the engraved face was grotesque and menacing, as if the metal could not hide the Commander’s disdain, disapproval, and dismissal of my presence.
I meant to formally greet him by voice, but found myself intimidated into silence. At least I didn’t break into a panicked run at the sight of him. I still had to acknowledge his presence somehow.
I stared at the darkness that was the faceplate’s eye sockets and nodded.
To my surprise, the Commander returned the greeting in the same manner as he had received it, by nodding slowly and deliberately.
He was gracious enough to allow me to grind my fear out of my legs into the ground under my feet and resettle myself. Decorum required that I take a step backwards to allow for polite space between us, but I was afraid that if I lifted a foot to move an inch that panic would then take the mile.
When my fidgeting completed, he spoke in a disarmingly quiet and serene voice that still terrified me with its calmness. “Have you come to deal with your fear? We are always ready to entertain that notion.”
Always ready to beat the shit out of me. I covered my knee jerk internal response with the deliberate external action of shaking my head. “No, Sir. If there is a time for everything, Sir, then I choose now to be the time of observation. If I am to act, let it be from an informed decision.”
I had it in the back of my memory that the Warring Fields were how I experienced the sphere of Geburah, and that Geburah was ruled by Mars, and that Mars had just gone retrograde. The three dots of information outlined an impetus to move with deliberation and not to be goaded into acts of violence, no matter how soft they could be for training purposes (only).
He did not move. If he breathed, it was so well controlled that I could only imagine the action. And yet, I could feel him smirking at me from under his helm. “Some would say that’s not very martial of you. Here you come to the fields where those dedicated to this art train without ceasing and you do nothing but make of yourself a target to be trained upon.”
All of existence is a target if you are determined enough to try. Again, I cover my thought with my speech. “With all due respect, Sir, some folks are full of shit and could do with a few rounds of my first lessons here. Just because I’m capable of action, doesn’t mean I should act this instant. Just because I have anger doesn’t mean I should attack the targets of my anger blindly. There is a time to strike at the enemy, and a time to allow the enemy to strike at itself. Right now, standing still is the most martial action I can take in the pursuit of my goals.”
One moment the Commander was standing in front of me with no one else within sight. The next moment, he was mounted on a horse as black as his emotions with two other officers mounted behind him. He tapped on the slack rein resting on his leg and though no vibration traveled the useless strap, the horse took a step back away from me and started to turn.
“Remember that.”
His horse completed its turn to face the darkness away from the Warring Fields and moved forward with a deliberate and well practiced gait. His two officers crossed paths behind him to resume their respective places and soon followed the Commander into the darkness.
I remained standing in place until the echo of the Commander’s command was my only companion. Sometime during our conversation, the legions behind me had moved on to other assignments and duties. Light from unseen fires danced around me under the jet black sky. As the only thing (person or not) that I could perceive now, I was somehow at the center of the Warring Fields even as I was at its boundary.
After a time, I remembered what I had done last week and how that led to my visit to the city districts of Chesed last week. I understood the connection between what I had done this week and this visit to the Warring Fields of Geburah. If the pattern holds true, I am going to revisit another “old haunt” but will also be confronted with the one realm that I have done my best to avoid for years to the point that I vigorously fled from it when finally forced to acknowledge its existence.
“Observe, decide, then act. That is my lesson this time. I will remember, Commander.” I donned my helm and strapped it securely. I raised my head and faced the increasing darkness without fear. The moment I decided to leave the Warring Fields, the dream ended.