This dream occurred in the afternoon of March 5th, 2010. It is my first entry to the Birch Grove, the same where I broke the bindrune. A close friend remarked, in that rendition, I appeared oddly vulnerable. I certainly feel vulnerable posting this. But the writing has remained tucked away long enough, and now demands to be revealed. In time, I’ll move the rendition to the proper posting date.
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This starts out in the Waking. A friend and I were out and about doing errands for the day. On the way back from all the shopping, I fell asleep. In the passenger seat, slightly reclined, I felt a familiar force appear in the back seat behind me. Loki was in the car, with his delicate arms wrapped around both seat and myself. Before I could react, he drew the rune Ingwaz upon my forehead.
The rune’s power shocked me. To my friend, I appeared to deepen my level of sleep. Mentally stunned and unable to fight him, Loki pulled me from my body and jumped through the roof of the car with my soul in his hand.
It was a jump through worlds. Watching my friend’s car zoom away, everything became black as we left the Waking World and entered the familiar InBetween. The InBetween is the place between Dream and Waking, Here and There. It is NoWhere with a gravity well. But it is not Everywhere. It is where I shook off the rune’s effects and began to grapple with Loki.
I didn’t want to go with him today. I wanted to stay with my friend. I was also concerned about the rune he used to subdue me. I am still learning the Elder Futhark, and my initial impressions of Ingwaz triggered some deep seated fears. If those fears were going to be used against me, I wanted nothing to do with that. Considering I am grappling with Loki, it is a good bet that is precisely what I’m going to face.
Again, he laid Ingwaz against me. But I countered with Ansuz. He tried to bind me. I blasted the bindings away. Three times Loki tried to subdue me with Ingwaz. Three times I released myself with Ansuz. But he kept that cold steel grip on my arm, however. I couldn’t pull away from his grip. Just kept myself from submitting to him.
He smiles. “You really ARE learning! Well then, I’ll just have to try a little harder.” His grin chills me. He’s not here for pranks and play. I brace for another runic attack. Instead, he just twists my arm sharply up and behind me. My body may be racing along at 65mph in the Waking, but as far as my mind is concerned Loki’s manhandling is very physical and very painful.
I cry out, and fall to a knee to relieve the strain on my shoulder. He twists my arm up even sharper, applying Ingwaz only to that arm. Again I call on Ansuz to counter the rune, but I am not able to free my arm from Loki’s twisting grip. I mentally search for another rune to add, knowing that Loki is about to change up his attack again. I start to call on Uruz to charge through the pain and pull myself free of his grip, when Loki stabs me in the chest with a talon-like finger and draws Ingwaz on my soul.
I lose all feeling in my arms and legs. He releases my tortured right arm, and I fall down onto the hardened shadows that make up the floor of the InBetween. I struggle to breathe deep, and call Uruz into me even as I force Ansuz against Ingwaz.
I roll away from Loki. He idly walks after me, chuckling lightly. I struggle to my knees. He reaches forward and draws Ingwaz on my forehead. I lose the sensation of touch completely, and my hearing is greatly impacted. I also start to lose the desire to resist him.
Another Ingwaz on my chest. Another Ingwaz on my upper back. And yet another on my belly. With each Ingwaz drawn, I slide into submission. He empowers the drawn runes, and my conquest is complete. I have become the willing sacrifice. He fondles me, to test my will. I neither pull away, nor beg for more. His touch arouses me, but causes no other reaction.
Content with his work, Loki scoops me up in his arms. I am aware of his actions, but care not what he does. He steps forward once, steps forward again, then jumps from InBetween to someplace New.
Trees. That is the first thing I recognize. Young, white barked trees. Loki is carrying me, walking through a dense thicket. Despite my head hanging near upside down, I can see all around me, in all directions. I need not my eyes to see. Green grass, nibbled down but growing back. Flowers, lots of little white flowers. It’s cool and moist, like after a spring rain. I can hear a bubbling brook nearby. The thicket is dense. He has to step sideways a few times to keep from hitting my head or knees on the white barked trees. Denser and denser, his progress slows.
A warding field. I don’t see it, but I feel it. An electrostatic wave passes over me and visions of Elhaz dominate my Sight. Without being told, I know I have just entered a hallowed space. Loki’s path is now clear within the sacred grove. The trees overhead have grown over each other, the combined canopy forming a living verdant roof over this space. The grass here has never been nibbled, instead kept short by the passing over of feet. Loki strides to the middle of this 50 odd foot space with ease.
There is a large earthen mound in the middle of the grove. I feel it to be a grave. My grave? Even though I do not rest therein. Covering the large mound are branches from nearby trees. None of these branches are hard wood. They are all green skinned and pliable. Delicate, immature leaves are still clinging to them. Upon this green covered mound, Loki carefully lays me.
I start to make the beginnings of struggle. He eyes me for a moment, then empowers the drawn Ingwaz runes again. I remain conscious, but my will is lost. I lay here, upon my own earthen grave, waiting silently for the priest to come. That I may be killed in holy sacrifice.
Loki smiles at me. He pats my head gently. He reaches for my clothing, and in one great sweep, undresses me completely. My skin cools in the breeze. He reaches under me, grabs my own shadow, and pulls it over my body.
I hear a sound at the other end of the grove. I feel a force entering past the Elhaz wards. Loki looks up, and bows in greeting. “I have brought her.” He moves away from me slightly, but keeps a hand on my right shoulder.
The force takes on a body, and that shape soon casts a shadow over me. I see a man, garbed in brown robes. He has a leather belt about him on which hangs items I can’t quite see. Brown, well worn gloves are on his hands, which are split between touching my left hand and gesturing to Loki. “It is not yet time.”
Deep words emanate from behind the headdress which covers his face. A deep green cowl drapes over head and shoulders, obscuring the face entirely. On the cowl is a crown of leaves. The leaf crown rests on a great rack of stag antlers. I am not sure if the antlers have sprung from the man’s head, or if they are part of the headdress. Their great weight have no effect on him. He merely shakes his head and again states, “It is not yet time.”
The shadow covering me dissipates at his touch. My nakedness is revealed completely before him. As he touches me, I know that he is the priest that will kill me. At the proper time, I will lay submissive and receptive to him on this mound. He will mount me with the mysteries of sex and at the proper moment, he will kill me. I will then be absorbed into the grave mound on which I lay, and after the mysteries of death, I will emerge from it as something new. But what these mysteries are, I do not know. Even though I know what is to happen, I am not afraid. I now understand why Loki used the Ingwaz rune to subdue me. I have become Ingwaz, I am the Sacrificial Lover.
With this knowledge, my own soul vibrates what the Antlered Priest has already said. “It is not yet time.” Loki sputters, “But I’ve brought her! And she understands! She is here–”
“It is not yet time.”
Loki starts to contest again, but the Antlered Priest cuts him off with a wave. “It is not yet time. Depart.”
I wake up in the seat of my friend’s car. Quite disoriented and somewhat chilled despite the warm day. He looks at me in askance. I shake my head and ask him if I snored or spoke in my sleep. He says I slept so deeply, without any movement, he was afraid that I had died quietly beside him.
I turned to the window and said nothing.
*fin*