Idling: Funny How Things Work Out

Just a few more days, guys. And the NaNoWriMo book will be done and I can return to my original intent of this blog. It’s been a roller coaster 24 days so far. What started out as a flippant and trivial excuse to vomit words and vanities has become a piercing introspective. There is more of me in the character “Alexandra Nerien” than I care to admit. Just as the other main characters, Lily, Jay Meleison, Jack, and Alexandra’s still unnamed father are also aspects of myself.

I’ve had to face some things I really didn’t want to, but there they are, scattered through out 1500 word chunks. Some of the days I missed updates were because I was railing at having to deal with my personal issue before I could write Alexandra through her’s.

The experience has also taught me a lot about the people closest to me, friends and family both. There will be many changes in the weeks following NaNoWriMo. Some folk, I’ll wistfully leave behind. Some folk, I’m still kicking my own ass for not walking away sooner. Much like Alexandra, I’ve allowed my life to be one of kneejerk reactions and immediate triggers. Time to set that right.

I really don’t care if the book ever gets published. Once I edit it (in December!) to appease my inner bitchy pedant, I’ll probably upload it to some Creative Commons friendly site (Scribd can KISS MY ASS) and promptly forget about it.

My magical life has taken an interesting twist since NaNoWriMo started. I’ve done less planetary/ritual-ish magic, and more low/animist workings. That Blond Fucker (who is really a red head) hasn’t been on my ass so much this month, strangely. Because my brain is turning to mush from all the writing, most of my workings have been instinctive & reactive. How far I’m disabusing myself, I’ll find out in the next couple of days, as my latest journey exposed me to some icky shit that is already affecting me physically.

I want to jump over to From Within The Stone and really start fleshing it out, starting with my personal interpretations of the Elder Futhark. But this strange thing called Discipline is forcing me to remain with the book. (ETA: The Rune Blog project was mercifully ended and destroyed.)

I know I’ve lost many readers by tossing the book updates here. I make no apologies. Those of you that have tweaked my ear or (im)politely nudged me for updates have my thanks and stink-eye grins. This book has come to me at the right time, for the right reasons. The process of entangling Alexandra has untangled my own soul.

Brain all melty now. Make bright lights go away.

(Time for eggnog… and bourbon!)


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