Dream: Book of Ur

I wasn’t fully sleep. But I wasn’t fully awake, either. Sitting at the bus stop, enjoying some peace and quiet before my daughter arrived from school. She had just texted me, her bus was late arriving to the school. No worries, I texted back, I would take a nap and wait for her.

The winds had picked up quite fiercely. I had to dodge big rig trucks that were not prepared for the sudden gusts that pushed them into the neighboring lane. Safely parked at the side street, my car was broadside to the wind. I was continually rocked in the wind’s cradle. Naptime.

My last waking thought before slipping sideways into the dream was an examination of sigils and symbols I had accrued in my head. Because of the winds enveloping my little car, most of them were Air related. I felt the shift as it happened. I tumbled out of the reclined driver’s seat and onto a little puffy cloud that was waiting for me. The winds were no longer restrained by the car’s cabin and blew directly onto and around my form. In the wind was the unspoken whisper, “Pay attention.”

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Dream Denizen: Saturn (planetary)

A close friend of mine, I call him “Pharoah” here, formally introduced me to invoking the planets two years ago. I completely dismissed the idea because of my lack of magickal experience. Didn’t invoking planetary powers require all sorts of props, preparations, and solitude? I lacked all three. He corrected my errors and showed me a way to touch upon the planetary powers using the tarot cards for assistance.

Since doing so, two of the planets have made many stage entrances in my dreams. Jupiter and Saturn. The first time I saw them in a dream, I knew who they were each the personification of even though they looked nothing like the traditional aspects written of and portrayed through lore and art. Jupiter has only made a few appearances, preferring instead to use his messenger.

Saturn, however, is a chatty little girl. Yes. Little. Girl. The gender switch feels like a deliberate act. One that stabs at a tender spot in me, about my own confusions over gender and sex. In trying to describe the overall feel of Saturn’s dream appearance, I could only come up with the tantalizing confusion that is Gothic Lolita.

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Piping Thought

My pipe is going out. It will require gentle obsessive nursing to keep it going. Or I can let it cool and die, only to refill and light it anew on another day.

That’s pretty much where I am at in my life. The “old ways” and habits I’ve used this year are dwindling in effectiveness. Yet I cling to them because they are familiar. It would take much dedication and perseverance from me to make them work. Wasted breath on impotent cinders. Time spent trying to preserve the past, that should instead be used to shape the future.
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Ready for Ignition

Those of you following my tweets are probably wondering why I haven’t just put three dollars on the counter at Walgreens and picked up some tobacco already. If I was breaking in a briar or corncob pipe, I would have done so, and probably would be on the second container. But after not smoking a pipe for seven years, I wanted my return to tobacco to be the pipe I’ve always wanted. A churchwarden. [1]
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Dream: Caught in Stone

I could feel his hands around the stone. Could hear him intoning the words. Deep in my sleep, my dream self began to repeat the syllables as the svart-alf called me to him.

No. Not this time. I will not go. Something was amiss. I had the strong feeling that I should not visit his chamber this night. There was no reason for my sudden mistrust. I have placed myself in his hands many times before without harm. He taught me how to sleep off my migraines, and helped me with a close friend. But now, I am almost to the point of panic.

Dream or no, I was not going to his chamber this night.

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Dream Denizen: Jupiter’s Girl

Certain characters make repeat appearances in my dreams. As they often play key roles in my dream writeups, I’ll detail them under the heading of “Dream Denizen”. Some are mythological figures, some are representations of abstract concepts. Most are magical in one way or another. Some are easy to talk about, some are complete mysteries even after decades of seeing them. (Yes, they can all be considered projections of myself. But I consider the dream world to be just as real as the waking.)

The first dream denizen is a person I have not written of on this blog. Not yet, anyways. But for a few close friends that have suffered my verbal storytelling, she is a oft seen character. I know she was sprung from the tarot, but I feel a faint connection between “Jupiter’s Girl” and the sephira Chesed.

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What happened to Alexandra Nerien?

All the NaNoWriMo updates have been taken off the blog. (If you want to read the version that was posted, drop me a line.) Currently in the process of editing, rewriting, banishing, and despairing over the text. Those of you brave enough to follow along as I wrote it can tell the others I had plot holes large enough to fly the Macross through. The P40 grit rough draft has been cleaned up enough to get a proof copy submitted. My daughter is thrilled she will get to hold her mother’s book. (Yes, she knows this is not the final copy.)

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