For the past 45 min, Facebook has refused to accept any input citing database issues. For once, this is a good thing. The amount of unrefined rage that has been bubbling over in my soul for the previous hour had begun to twist at the fabric of my being. I had attempted to pour some of the overflow onto a status, and quickly realized that I was trying to force into an incarnation of legible combinations of consonants and vowels, a potent magic spell. Continue reading “Playtime”

An Unsettling Answer

This morning, I gave an honest answer to what I suppose is a hypothetical question. It’s a question I face every morning, every evening, and every time my family reminds me of what my true worth to them. It’s an answer that is not politically correct. I’m told it is not medically correct either. It’s so disturbing to some, I have been privately told I need to be incarcerated in a hospital and forcibly medicated to save me from myself.

What makes this amusing is the question. “How do you keep on living when you don’t want to?” Continue reading “An Unsettling Answer”

Ain’t This Some Shit

The dream started as dreams do, with much theoretical randomness made manifest in shapes, sounds, and colors that have as much meaning as white noise. I knew it for what it was and allowed myself to bounce along the glittering and the spiraling with all that glorious Mad Hatter air. But there was a sense of distraction to the entire scene. Much like how one hides themselves from the recent bad news by going to a play.

Well then, I guess I better stop the goofing off and start dealing with this shit. Continue reading “Ain’t This Some Shit”

The Painful Messenger

Ah migraines. I don’t get them as frequently as I used to, having learned how to deal with the myriad sources of stress in my life. I usually have means to bring them to heel once they have started, but the one that started yesterday just wouldn’t behave. The month of reduced sleep caught up with my ass, and feeling my skull collapse into itself warned me the next 36 hours were going to be a wild ride.

Did I mention my migraines come with hallucinations? No? Continue reading “The Painful Messenger”

Yes, It Is.

“Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” “The older a person gets, the more set they are in their ways.” “A leopard can’t change its spots.” “You can’t change the fundamental parts of yourself, the harder you try, the more you stay the same.” “It’s just a phase you’re going through, just ride it out and you’ll settle back down.” “You can’t help it, it’s just the way you are.”

“You’re just confused. Trust us, we know what’s best for you. We’re your friends/family/betters after all, and we only want what’s best for you.” Oh yea? Continue reading “Yes, It Is.”

One Down, Five To Go

I’m confused something fierce. You see, my magic (life?) path had changed recently. I won’t be going ceremonial for some time. There are other things that have to be attended to first. The ecstatic path pulls me more and more away from plays at, and bastardizations of, western grimoric magic into the liminal states of dream work and trance journeying. (Yes, they could be the same, but the only thing I’m advanced at is bullshiting.)

So why, after being “told” very clearly the methods and tools I have been used before are to be set aside, am I being given another piece of a ceremonial personal seal? Continue reading “One Down, Five To Go”