The room was spinning. I was slumped back in my chair. I hoped to see sun symbols on the ceiling above me. Crystal chandeliers hung dimly. “Oh. Oh dear.” The deep voice made a mockery of concern with the tone. I turned my head to look at the speaker, but the rotation upended the world. I couldn’t see past my outstretched arm. A glass goblet was lying in my useless hand. The color of the liquid hiding in it confused me. Was it orange? Red? Purple? Why was it changing colors where it spilled onto the plate?
Why am I here?
A chair scraped against the floor. “It seems you can’t handle your alcohol. Such a shame. Who would think half a glass of wine would throw you into such disarray?” His words were the depths of compassion. His tone was the triumph of a predator.
I gotta get out of here.
Lethargy numbed my body. Confusion numbed my thoughts. I couldn’t focus. I had the instinct to flee, but had no idea where to flee to or even where to flee from.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” A shadow stood over me. The voice was distorted. Or was it revealed? I heard something like the grinding of teeth. My vision failed, leaving my open eyes dry and blinded.
I felt my flesh churning around my bones. Something in my body was stirring. The shadow touched my left arm. The something in my flesh burst out at the contact. I heard a sharp cry followed by a snarl.
More things jumped from my flesh. I heard snarls turn into cries that soon whimpered and silenced. I heard the sound of many mouths eating.
Coldly warm things swarmed over me. In my stupor I could only feel one of them against my body. It was curling softly around my neck. It reminded me of the facehuggers from Aliens, but I wasn’t afraid. It wasn’t squeezing tightly, it was just… there.
I heard the sound of something metallic sliding over stone. It was a constant noise and it was getting louder. The things that were curled up on me moved in anticipation.
“I thought you said no more adventures. And I owe your minions an apology… and my respect.” Snake’s voice was timbred oddly. The lisp told me he was in a serpentine aspect, but the tones were none I have heard from him before.
A cold hand felt my face. Another slipped under the thing around my neck. “This just happened.” I heard a splash. “This isn’t wine. But you wouldn’t know the difference. You’re going to have a horrible hangover from it though.”
I heard metal sliding against metal, clasps opened and closed. “Can you move?” A cold hand rested on my chest. “No. You can’t. You’re effectively dead. Whoever served you was taking no chances. They knew they had one chance to disable you, and they made a very effective attempt.” Several arms juggled me from the chair. “I suppose I should duplicate the poison later, and help you build an immunity to that class of poisons. I’m not joking.”
“I’ll tease you about the red dress later. There are more entrances to this hall than the one you took and the one I took. I expect someone will be along shortly to collect their prize. Let’s get you, and your minions, home.”
When Snake turned to leave the way he entered, the revolution of my head was too much for me to bear. I lost consciousness.
…
“Sip.” I heard whimpering and realized it was me. “No complaints. Sip.” In instinct I reached up and took the cup pressing against my lips. “Good. Voluntary movement. Welcome back.”
I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it. The glare from the almost dark sunstone dropped spikes of pain in my eyes. I turned my face, grimaced, and whimpered again.
“That’s what happens when your apéritif has enough poison to drop a giant. You’re going to be in pain for a while. Now, sip.”
I did as commanded. The light broth chased away much of the pain. “Where?” It hurt too much to ask the full question.
“Good question. You don’t remember?”
“I would shake my head in the negative, but my pain quota is filled for the day, thank you very much.”
“Death destroys memory. I wonder if that was an intended side-effect.”
I sipped more on the broth, feeling better just from holding the bowl. “Death? But…” I struggled to remember. “There was a dinner. A formal, political dinner.” Berber Snake took the nearly empty bowl, refilled it, and placed it back in my hands. I took another sip. “Me and… and… someone… It was supposed to be neutral ground. Where only words were wielded. Best behavior from both of us because of the location. But I don’t remember who, or where.”
“Did you have anything to eat?”
“Finger food. A micron thin slice of meat, a micron thin slice of cheese, a wafer thinner than paper, and enough garnish to choke a horse.”
“And then the wine? Finish off that bowl before you answer.”
I did as commanded. It’s good broth. I was able to see without pain in the dim light. My minions were on the table, swarming over a pile of something. They were feasting and snapping at each other. I realized one minion was not among them. It was curled around my neck and refusing to move.
“Yes. Then the wine. I had a sip, to be polite. And then…” I furrowed my brow. “He said something that pissed me off. To keep from flaring up, I took a big gulp of it. I have a high alcohol tolerance, you know. Both Here and There. It takes more than a shotgunned glass of wine to make me barely slow in movement.” The minion at my neck shifted. “Then my stomach suddenly burned… and…” I shook my head to finish the sentence.
“Congratulations. You imbibed a binary poison. Part A was in the finger food. Part B was in the wine. Your stomach acid was probably a reactant, which is why there were no traces on the table.”
“Nice. I thought you were supposed to be my guardian, and shit.” I meant to be teasing in tone. My sore throat turned it into an invective. I just looked down at the empty bowl in my hand.
“I came to your rescue. Does that count?” He took the empty bowl. “Besides, you weren’t alone. Your minions decided to bring the dinner to an abrupt and messy end. They ate your dinner guest.”
“They what?”
“They ate him. Tore him to pieces. Left only his clothes, blood spray on the walls, and chewy pieces of viscera. You were unable to defend yourself, so your minions acted on your behalf.”
“Oh.” I looked over at the table. Six little heads of shadow and teeth grinned at me. I smiled cockily back at them. “Cool. Thanks guys.”
The seventh minion adjusted its position around my neck and whispered, “Mine.”.
“Wait. Snake. If the minions were with me, and I didn’t tell you where I had gone, how did you find me so quickly?”
Snake handed me a third bowl of broth. “I can always find you. You know that. You wanted to be left alone. To not be treated as a kid anymore, you said. That means you have to learn how to extricate yourself from the troubles you insert yourself into. I… felt… something was unusually wrong and came to you. Drink.”
“Unusually?” Despite strains of paranoia nibbling at me, I drank the bowl of broth. And wondered if I could make this myself.
“Yes. Unusually.” He waited for me to drink it, then took the bowl without further comment.
“If you know when I’m in trouble…” I didn’t wait for him to answer what I already knew. “Yes. I did want to be treated as an adult. And most of the time, when I’m in really deep shit, I’m in realms you can’t enter.” I pulled my legs up and noticed I was naked. “Hey. Wasn’t I in a red dress?”
“Yes. About that dress… it was tailor made for you. I meant to ask where did you get it. You’re not one for flirty gear.”
I tried to throw a pillow at him. It fell helplessly at my feet. “I like flirty gear, thank you very fucking much. But wandering wastelands in a dress and heels is not fun. And I rarely get the option to wear flirty gear, and when I do, I’m often in company that would treat me as a vapidly ignorant shit because if a woman wears nice clothes, it’s because she’s a trophy to be seen and not heard.” My headache returned. “And that dress better be intact. It’s a gift. I wish I could wear dresses more often, here and there, but… I don’t make a good trophy.” I lowered my head against my knees.
Snake lifted my head gently and slid the pillow on my knees. “It’s intact. I think I have all the blood spots out. The color of the fabric, though… I’ll check in the morning.”
“What the hell are you, my butler now?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
I launched the pillow with vicious movement. This time, the pillow struck true. My right eye teared from the increase of pain. He picked up the pillow and placed it on the pallet of furs behind me.
I better change the subject before my anger runs away from me again. “Why, and what, are you feeding the minions?”
“What? Oh, some scraps I found. Wound be a shame to let those bones to go waste.” His subtle smile made me forget about the headache. “Why? Because your minions are a part of you, O’ Hive Queen. They feed from you when they don’t have external sources. But the reverse also applies. Feed the hive, and the hive queen is strengthened. Besides, they came to your defense. Should they not be rewarded?”
“Oh. That makes sense.” I laid down on the furs and noted the seventh minion was still curled around my neck. “Hey. Aren’t you going to eat?” I nudged it with my chin.
“No. Stay.”
“I’m okay now. I’m safe here.”
“No. Yes. You are safe. They eat. I stay.”
I looked at Snake in askance. He only shook his head as he pulled one of the pelts over me. If feeding the hive strengthens the queen, then it stands that they share nutrients with each other. Somehow. I don’t want to think about the details too much, because I’m a part of this. But if the six on the table each eat sufficiently enough to benefit me, then the seventh is benefited as well. And if the hive as a whole is that concerned about me, then maybe the seventh is holding on to me to reassure the hive that I’m okay. And maybe to reassure me that I’m not alone. Maybe I think too much.
The seventh snuggled into my skin, merging with my flesh. Maybe I’m not that far from the mark after all.
Lethargy pulled at me again. Snake noticed. “Go to sleep. I’ll make sure you have no more adventures tonight.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“What of it?”
“You coming along tomorrow?”
“Who said you’re going anywhere tomorrow?”
“Isn’t that what I said about tonight?”
“Heh.” My eyes were closed, but Snake’s genuine mirth could not be hidden. “Things are going to change between us. Ward. The more you learn, the more dangerous you get, to yourself and others.”
“Did you just call me ‘Ward’? You know that means it is now my duty as a sentient to escape from your observation and control as much as possible. Warden.”
“Business as usual then? I should order more tea.” Fifty feet of cream hued smugness coiled around me and the pelts. It was like lying in a large woven rope bowl. A serpent head larger than my torso rested near my face. A lidless emerald eye stared into mine. “No, I will not cosplay Sebastian Michalis. Ever. Do not ask.”
I pouted with exaggerated gesture. I meant to tease him about other characters, but the exhaustion was too much and I fell into deeper sleep.