The town was under a tornado warning. While thunderstorms and high winds were not uncommon here, to have anything fiercer than a dust-devil was cause for alarm and excitement. The kids, growing up watching shows like Storm Chasers were elated to be a real life storm chaser. The adults knew none of the buildings were prepared for tornadoes. This was the land of earthquakes and racing fires. There wasn’t a basement in the town, and only the jail was sure to withstand tornado-flung projectiles.
When the tornado came it was unpredictable. The light damage it caused gave it a rating of EF-1 and that was hotly contested in the days to come. It skipped down streets and was observed giving schools and playgrounds a wide berth but making circles around would-be storm chasers. People liveblogging the event often made the comment the tornado appeared to have an intelligence within it, that the tornado was being moved about like a child playing with toys.
An acquaintance wanted to get a closer view of the tornado. Most everyone with any kind of sense in their heads had already left the town. Police prevented non-residents from entering the town. The mother storm cell had stalled directly over the town, and the thin ropey tornado was still on the ground. But I was already inside city limits. Would I please, pretty please, I’ll buy you a case of beer please, take him to the bridge that crossed the river creek that marked the town’s income boundary? Please?
I refused even though the bribes compensation increased with every step I took towards the car. I watched Storm Chasers almost religiously when it originally aired. I remember watching time and time again, as a supposedly dying tornado would suddenly surge in intensity and speed. A dull, boring, and unproductive sky would be spawning three tornadoes by the end of the hour. A hardpacked concrete dry back road becomes a tire-devouring pit of imminent doom when the rain starts. I respect my car, and I respect my acquaintance’s life. I’ll gladly run into perdition myself, but I’m not going to risk his life like that.
He follows me outside. The sun is shining warmly on us. There is only a faint breeze teasing at us. Two miles to the south of us is the creek. Just beyond that the heavy churning clouds hover. I can see one of the ropey tornadoes squirming beneath it. It reminds me of a child running in a store, trying to dodge the displays while hiding from his mother.
“I know the secret word! Don’t make me use it!” He grips my shirt while staring at the tornadoes in the near distance.
“Secret word, my ass. Don’t you see the potential in those clouds? This could go from fun to fucked in a fart.”
He didn’t laugh. “Weaver. Take me to the tornadoes.”
I snapped around to glare at him. How fucking dare he! “Wrong word, asshole. You can only compel a story out of me with that name. I ain’t your bitch. And if you try that again, you’ll become mine.”
“But…”
“I suggest backing the fuck up before you get fucked up.”
“But…” He suddenly stopped speaking and looked up at something behind me. His face blanched. Only now do I note that was had been the barest of breezes was now a strong wind pushing from my right. The sun was not shining on us anymore. The temperature had dropped. I turned around to find a thin ropey tornado was touching down in the parking lot. It very neatly made contact in the middle of the aisle. I gripped my acquaintance and noted where the nearest dumpsters were, hoping the decorative brick enclosure would be strong enough to protect us from the inevitable shrapnel that was about to be thrown about.
I noted with perverse amusement that he was getting what he wanted, and he looked like he was about to piss his britches. I had not taken two steps towards the dumpsters when I saw the tornado come around me. I stopped running and watched with strange fascination as the tornado maneuvered in between parked cars. It made a complete circle around us, kicking up only pebbles and dust. It dodged parked cars, a puddle of water, and a strip of dirt. My acquaintance whimpered in fear.
The spout came closer. A cloth suddenly draped over my face. By the time I pulled it off, the spout had dissipated and the dark cloud over us had faded away. I looked over the cloth, light blue on one side, light purple on the other. No hem, it was woven as one piece. It felt airy in my hands, as if spun from the clouds themselves. I had seen such cloth before. When I realized where, I threw my head back and laughed with abandon.
“Hey. Asshole.” I shook my acquaintance who was still gripping me with terror. “Still want to see the tornadoes up close?”
“Yes! No! What?”
“Do you want to go across the river?”
“Huh?”
“I’m headed across the river, bitch! Are you coming or not?” I didn’t wait for him to answer, but removed myself from his grip and jumped into my car. He said nothing but quickly entered as well. As I spun the car out of the parking lot and headed south, he looked at me with his question written deeply across his face. I didn’t answer.
There were only a few bridges that crossed the river. Many of them were blocked by emergency vehicles. Those that weren’t were blocked by traffic accidents where panicked drivers had spun out and crashed. There was no way to drive over the river. There were places where a person could cross the river by foot. All of them required trespassing. Neither my acquaintance nor I gave a shit.
I parked out of sight, and we exited the car. He jumped into the bushes that hid the opening in the fence. Before I could follow I heard my name called. I motioned to my acquaintance to go ahead without me.
“Keri! Didn’t think I would see you here.” The man’s tone dripped with sarcasm. He was not only expecting me, but was not happy to see me. “I think you should leave before you get hurt. Everyone knows about your affinity with the weather. By just being here, you will make things worse for everyone.” The man presented himself as a Serious Academic. The sort of person you could see establishing himself as the Absolute Authority of a subject, to the point of destroying any evidence that contradicts his educated guesses. His disdain for me was matched only by his condescending advice. “You should leave, before someone gets hurt.”
I had stuffed the tornado’s cloth into my purse. If I was right, the tornado was going to come back for that cloth. I didn’t need to be across the river to meet it again. It would come to me. I was no longer worried about my acquaintance. The weather did have an intelligence behind it. It was here to play with those people willing to come out and play with it. He’s going to have fun. And so was I. Just not with the weather.
I do so love being a bitch.
“My good man, if I leave, how will you know where the tornadoes are going to be concentrated at? After all, everyone knows that where I go, strange weather follows. If I leave, you’ll have normal, predictable weather. And where’s the fun in that?” I smiled and casually moved away from the concealed opening.
He did not return the banter. “Leave Keri. I won’t have you fucking up my moment.” Behind him were expensive storm chaser rigs with the icons and sigils from his many corporate sponsors. “You already fucked up one prediction just by being here. Get out. Leave.”
I walked up to my car. The tires were slashed along the side wall. He just smiled and made some mention of tornado damage. “Well, now I can’t leave, bitch. You’ve made sure of that. Your little act of vandalism has me stranded here.” I thought about it. “No. It means I can’t leave under the dream’s constraints. You’re trying to force me to leave the dream entirely, to jump realms. Why?”
“Sir! The police want to know if you wanted this car added to your convoy.” An assistant ran up to him. He smiled at me in warm greeting, but when he turned his attention to the Academic, his face fell into frightened awe.
“Absolutely not! In fact…” The Academic smiled at me again. “Tell the police I caught a looter attempting to cross the river.”
“Sir?” The assistant looked at me. “Hey, isn’t this [ThreeDifferentWays]?” Oh. That’s interesting.
“An imposter! Trying to use her… reputation… to gain improper access! Now get the police! At once!” The assistant ran for the police. The Academic just stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled. “You’re not going to run?” His tone was mocking, but his face was severe. He really wanted me to run.
“I said out right this is a dream, and you did not refute me. Your assistant called me by my Tumblr username. Weaver has a reputation for fire. It is only on Tumblr where I talk of my affinity for wind. You bent the dream to slash the car’s tires. You are a Traveler. I just don’t know who you are. I have over six hundred followers on Tumblr, but I only follow forty-seven Tumblrites. Run? The moment I do that, I place myself further into your control of the dream. I’m not running. I’m going to stand right here. I know the limitations of dreambending. You want me out of the dream? Evict me, bitch. Lay your hands on me and throw me out yourself. But you won’t. Not because you can’t. But because the moment you touch me, I touch you. You’ll risk fire, but you won’t risk the Devouring. You’re an ass, but you’re a smart ass, in every sense of the phrase.” I placed my hands in my pockets and leaned against the crippled car.
His face flickered a brief expression of anger. I had him nailed to rights and he knew it. But I also had an anchor in the dream in the form of the cloth the tornado had all but handed me on a silver platter. As long as I had that in my possession, the dream would not evict me. I don’t know how he entered the dream, but I knew this was not his turf. The intelligences that was spawning, and playing in, the tornadoes were the rulers of this dream. And I had been asked to stay. He didn’t know that. And I was going to milk that for all I could.
A patrol car pulled up to us. The officer stepped out and regarded us both coolly. He saw the damaged tires and raised an eyebrow in confusion. I smiled at him. The Academic launched into an impromptu performance. “Here! Officer! She was going to sneak across the river but I caught her! Arrest her! Imprison her at once! This leech trying to use fear to her advantage.” The officer looked at me with a questioning face. I just shrugged.
“I doubt this car can float, Sir, much less drive anywhere. These tires are done for.” The officer had a bit of a drawl to his voice. It was disarming and meant to sooth antagonized feelings. I just smiled and nodded.
“You see where the car is! Damaged trying to flee from other patrols, I’m sure!” The officer toed the front tire. The gaping holes in the sidewall were testament to the Academic’s thorough dreambending.
“I sure would like to see what would shred the sidewall while leaving the tread alone. And on all four tires? That would be interesting, don’t you think, Sir?” The officer stared at me for an uncomfortably long length of time. I filled my head with nice soft thoughts of strangling the Academic with his tie and just shrugged. “I know you, Ma’am. Weaver has a Trickster’s reputation in the law enforcement community.” The Academic snorted in triumph. “The official word is to give you a wide berth, Ms. Weaver. Are you in a pinch?” He jerked his head towards the Academic, who was realizing he was not going to get his way.
“What’s the unofficial word, Officer?” I just smiled as warmly as I could, and wondered what else did the official word say about me.
The officer chuckled. “You showing up is like watching the TARDIS materialize. You’s pretty. But the day just got shot to shit.” He was almost apologetic in his tone. My legitimate laughter placed him at ease.
“How do you know for sure this is Weaver, Officer! There are many that would take advantage of her fearsome reputation. See, she is confronted by the both of us, and she has not done one thing out of order! That is certainly not what one would think of a… Trickster.” The Academic puffed up his chest and doubled down on his air of Superior Authenticity.
The officer looked at me in sudden confusion. He looked at the Academic and considered his words. He stared at the car’s tires, and then stared back at me again. I wondered if I should sprout feathers or if that would bend the dream too far. After all, so far, I have done nothing that could not be done in the Waking. “Well… Good question.”
“I have a solution.” The Academic produced a sealed cup. “There is a medical clinic nearby. I’m sure your files on Weaver also have some sort of verification protocol. It’s simple. A quick genetic test will reveal if this is Weaver or not.” I felt a metallic taste in my mouth. The dream was being bent again, but I couldn’t understand how.
“Well… yes… but this would take time. And I’m not about to force the young lady to submit such a sample in public…” The officer was unwilling to go through with the request, but his face told clearly that he felt compelled to ask. The metallic taste increased, and I realized how the Academic was bending the dream.
“I’ll take it.” My answer surprised both men. “But not here, because public.” I took the cup from the Academic, who was suddenly reluctant to release it. “There is a bar still open down the street. I’ll go to the facilities there. You’ll just have to trust me that it’s my urine in the cup, though.” I didn’t wait for them to agree or disagree. I turned and began walking to the building that both men suddenly saw. Before I spoke, there was no bar down the street. But down the street was a crossroads of two major avenues in the town. And where there is a crossroads, there is always a bar, for those that know how and where to see.
I needed neutral territory, and I needed it now. I did not trust how the Academic had bent the dream. While the cloth guaranteed I could not be evicted from the dream, there was little keeping the Academic from turning the dream into an all-out war against me. Little steps make a great advance. And he has taken many little steps while I sat on the car twiddling my thumbs and feeling invincible.
The officer and the Academic accompanied me. Across the river, the tornadoes continued playing with the few humans that was willing to interact with them. I felt no urgency from the tornadoes, if anything, I felt that they were watching and just waiting for this little drama to finish playing out.
“Hello! Hello! And welcome to my humble establishment! In honor of the weird weather we’re having, half off any drink you can name with a word starting with ‘W’! If you make it really good, I’ll give you the drink for free!” The barkeep was a large jolly man. A flushed face with a continual grin, he spoke in alliterations as he greeted the three of us. He wasn’t the barkeep I was expecting, but the atmosphere was beyond my control. Which meant it was beyond the Academic’s control as well.
“A Wonderful Wash of Water, please!” He laughed at my poor attempt. “I need to sate their curiosity with a personal draught of my own. But I can’t brew without water!” I winked at the officer who chuckled until he looked at the Academic. The Academic’s frown silenced the officer and troubled me.
“A pretty lady like you, with a Popo escort? You must have to give them the piss, and not in a fun way. No charge for the innocent!” He chuckled as I groaned at his joke and brought me a large mug of cool water.
The Academic stared at the mug intently. I could feel the air between us bending from the effort of his will. I said nothing, however, and only drank the mug of water peacefully. The barkeep, however, never stopped wiping the bar between him and the Academic, and never took his eyes off the authoritatively suited man.
I asked for the restrooms and was pointed in the proper direction. When the Academic moved to follow, the barkeep placed himself in between us. “Let me tell you how my bar works, Sir. Falsehoods don’t linger. Not here. Not ever. And respect is given to all until you show yourself undeserving of it. There’s only two ways out of the toilet. And she can’t fit down that pipe.” The Academic blustered unable to form a coherent response, while the officer chuckled again and sat at the bar.
I closed and locked the restroom door behind me. There was a toilet, a urinal, a sink, a mirror, and a trashcan. Still ignorant to what the Academic was trying to accomplish with the urine sample, I filled it properly as requested and sat it on the sink edge to wash my hands. When I looked up, the barkeep was in the reflection. I whirled around to confront him, but he placed a finger to his lips.
“Forgive my intrusion, Miss. But you came to my bar seeking safety, yes? Don’t answer with your voice, they can hear you, but they can’t hear me.” I nodded. “You are supposed to provide a urine sample for some bullshit test, yes?” I nodded again. “That cup, Miss, it may look like a simple piss cup to you. But that’s not how it looks to me. I suggest you hold it up in the mirror and see it how I see it.”
I moved so I could see him and the mirror at the same time. I held the urine sample cup up and immediately forgot about trying to keep an eye on him. In my hand, it looked like a medical fluid sample cup that could have come from any clinic. In the mirror, it was a crystal jar with a heavy sealing lid. In my hand, the contents I deposited looked like mere urine. In the mirror, the liquid moved thickly as if blood, glowed with an inner light, and sparkled as if showing the lights in my eyes. I grit my jaw to keep from exploding into expletives as I realized the very grave mistake I had originally made, and the near self-damnation I was about to commit.
“So you do see.”, he said. I nodded. “I want to make sure you understand, Miss. That’s not piss in that jar. That’s your own personal essence. He had tricked you into thinking it was just a urine cup and treating it as such. If you hand him that jar as is, you hand him your soul!” I nodded slowly in understanding. I turned to face the barkeep, removed the lid, toasted him, and downed the tartly sweet contents in one gulp. As I did, I felt an emptiness within me, that I had not noticed before, being filled as I restored myself to myself. Inspecting the jar and finding that I had successfully removed every portion of myself from it, I turned to fill it from the sink. While I did so, the barkeep walked through the back-wall into the storage rooms beyond.
“Miss? Are you okay in there?” The officer was standing just outside the door, with the Academic not far away by the sound of it. I jerked the door open, knocking the officer off balance.
“I’m done. And by done, I mean I don’t want to enter another bar’s toilet ever again. Ugh. The things that drunk fucks do!” The barkeep (who had came from the back rooms,) feigned offense while I wrinkled my nose at the supposed indignities I endured in there. I held up the closed sample jar, holding it so that I did not give away I knew what it was. “But, mission accomplished!”
The Academic snatched the jar out of my hand. While I yelled at him not to spill it, he announced he was going to take it to the nearest clinic himself. He invited the officer to accompany him to oversee the test and the results. I watched the officer’s face cloud over in indecision and realized this was another way the Academic was bending the dream.
“Yea, you two do that. I have four car tires to fix.” The Academic whirled at me in sudden worry. “I really didn’t think you’d make me go through that, what with your precious tornadoes out there and all. Well, at least I wasted your time and shit. All I wanted to do was have a little fun. There’s always someone up in my shit trying to cage me and shit.” I continued fussing about not having any fun in this dream. The Academic’s worry melted away and his smug smile returned as he enjoyed what he thought was mere gratuitous bitching.
“Yes. Well. You can thank me for keeping you safe later.” I gave him stink-eye, but he continued speaking to the jar instead of speaking directly to me. “Yes, I’m sure you’ll understand the grander scheme of things. In time.” He said farewell to the barkeep and left. The officer glanced at me apologetically and left soon after.
I sat at the bar and brooded over the empty mug. The barkeep offered me rum, but I declined. I haven’t had permission to resume drinking alcohol again, I told him. He chuckled at that. “Who comes to a bar and doesn’t have a drink?”
“Someone trying to keep themselves together.” I mumbled my answer into the empty mug. A cup of freshly brewed tea was placed before me unasked for.
“Breathe. Relax. No one comes to a bar and doesn’t have a drink. Whatever is going on outside can wait a few more moments for you. At least, put some more space between you and him.” I smiled and accepted the tea with gratitude.
When I left the bar, the officer and the Academic were long gone. Their vehicles driven away in a hurry as the tire tracks testify. My car remained where I left it, but I could see where tornadoes had touched down around it, scouring the ground. The fence had been bent from some massive force in the shape of an all-terrain vehicle. Probably one of the Academic’s storm chaser vehicles.
The sky suddenly darkened and fierce winds whipped up around me. Tornadoes of significant strength formed above and around me, but none of them touched down. They came close enough to stir up what little dust remained around me and suddenly withdrew. A small, thin, and ropey funnel cloud formed before me. This one did touch the ground. It circled me quickly, then engulfed me.
The wind suddenly felt solid, and instead of being tossed about in a maelstrom, I felt strong arms whirling me around instead. The howling of the wind became laughter and I felt joy coming from someone close, from the someone holding me.
I was placed back on my feet, and the laughter turned into apologies. “Oh! Oh my! I’m sorry! Do forgive me! I just didn’t think I would get to meet you! Wow! Oh wow! Weaver! You’re Weaver [fucking redacted like fuck]! Wow!” The tall youth was all arms and legs like teenagers are. He was in full fanboi mode, and was alternating between sudden hugs and arm touches, and trying to stand a respectable distance from me. Windblown light blond hair bounced around his head, defying gravity and movement. He was infectiously happy and beside himself. Dressed in robes of light blue and purple cloth, the youth was trying hard to contain himself. And failing.
Once he had settled to the point of holding my hands and laughing in embarrassment, I asked him what had I done to warrant such adoration. He blushed and looked down. “I didn’t think you’d know me. I mean, the others are always holding court and [K*] doesn’t let anyone junior to him on the terrace when you’re there.” He studied my hands intensely, tracing the scars on my right hand that other mortals could not see, but were clearly apparent to him. “But I was there when you told the [myth of why the Ocean is separated from the Sky] to the [angelic lord]. We all had to attend, you see. Because [that angel lord] is a big thing, you know. And when you fell that first time and [the angel lord] was so upset you couldn’t stand under the weight of his glory, I came up and explained to him what you’ve been through. I thought I was going to get in so much trouble for that.” The youth took a big breath. He gripped my hands hard in the memory of it, but I did not complain. “But he listened and agreed you’ve been through so much.” He looked up and smiled. I reflected his smile. He blushed and looked down again. “I just… I know what my cousins have done to you, and you still came back. I… ” He ran out of words and fumbled with my hands instead until he realized he was fumbling with my hands and suddenly dropped them.
I took his hands and held them gently. He stood two feet over me, but had the freshness that is late adolescence. His smile returned to shame every dawn I have seen before and every dawn I will ever see after. The air was perfectly still, but his hair floated about his head with wild abandon. I remembered the cloth. “Oh! It’s your headcloth I have!” He nodded happily as I pulled the cloth from my purse. “You shouldn’t allow your covering to go a-flying about at random. I know folks that would use this to try and trap you. You’re just a kid, you don’t need that kind of abuse.” He bent down so I could place it on his head. I wasn’t sure how it was supposed to fit at first, but as I placed it, it wrapped itself with the proper folds.
“Aww, you sound like my uncles! I’m over a hundred and fifty years old! I can take care of myself!” He stood to tug it into proper place, and in doing so, a few wisps of day-bright hair escaped from the covering. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the youth.
“Over a hundred and fifty years old, and you still gave your headcovering to a known Trickster! Come on, kid, I know better than to apply human age ranges to you and yours!” His face fell from the correction. “Hey. Did you really come forward for me that day?” He nodded, still sad. “That was more reckless than handing me your covering. That lord is from the Beginning. You are as dust to him. Don’t do that again. I do appreciate what you did, but…” I shook my head. “If you want to see your first millennium, don’t do that. I don’t know why the lord tolerated you. Hell, I don’t know why he tolerated me! But I would suggest not doing that again.” His face was so heartbroken, I wanted to cry.
“Okay. So now we got the obligatory life lessons out of the way, what’s next on today’s docket?” The youth looked up at me, which was a feat as he stood so tall above me. “This whole scenario was made to attract my attention, and get me and you in the same realm. Your uncles and brothers really went out of their way to all but give me a written invitation on a gold platter. Granted they also got the attention of others, but now that the party-crasher is dealt with, it’s just you and me. So. What other trouble are we going to get into today?”
His smile returned. “Really? You’re staying?”
“Why shouldn’t I? The town is not trashed. The mundane dreamers here probably won’t remember anything out of the ordinary. The party-crasher has been sent off with his loot. The world is ours, baby. Let’s go have fun!”
A fierce gale suddenly howled across the land. In it I heard the screams of frightened men and strained engines. I am reminded of the heart of a hurricane just before the eyewall appears. The youth’s face falls, but not in pained sadness. “I… I have to go.”
I gave the youth a tight hug that was quickly reciprocated. “I’ll see you on the terrace. Behave yourself, eh?”
“Okay. I will!” He released me and backed away. A not quite safe distance away, his form dissolved and extended into the thin ropey tornado I had first seen. The funnel cloud retreated into the sky, and with his departure most of the storm clouds also dissipated.
As the tornado sirens announced the “All Clear” signal, I felt another presence. This one very familiar.
“Hello, [K*]. Just how long have you been dogging me today?”
K* materialized behind me, chuckling. “Long enough to make sure no other ‘party-crashers’ interrupted.” Ke stood behind me and watched the fading remnants of turbulent weather fade. “Do you know how long that kid has been pestering me to meet you?”
“This wasn’t all set up to get me and him in the same place, was it?” K* only hummed a random tune. I whirled to face kir. “[K*], now answer me straight!”
K*’s face was gently smiling. “Yes. It was and it wasn’t. We didn’t anticipate catching the attention of other Travelers. I and my brethren do have duties to attend to, and we chose to practice in this realm. Since it is a realm you could travel to, we opened it up to Travelers while I came to bring you here. That other Traveler, however… I don’t know how he came across this realm. But it seems he knows you.” K*’s face wrinkled briefly, knocking his color symmetry off balance. “Maybe now that my ‘nephew’ has met you, he can shut up about how he spared you from [the angelic lord]’s wrath that day. I am very glad you told him straight about the foolishness of his actions. I don’t know why he is allowed even near the terrace! A hundred and fifty years to us is about the age of your daughter to you!”
“And my daughter is mature for her age. Numbers aren’t always a good measurement.”
“Yes.” In the distance, the howling began again. “We are both out of time, it seems. I am glad to see you in better spirits.”
My turn to wrinkle my face. “You know.”
K* kissed me lightly on the forehead. “[Weaver], you have no idea how important you are, how many eyes are on you, and how handicapped we are from helping you. You are stronger than you think you are. Reconsider [a certain thing].”
“The party-crasher used my words to find a way in. Should I stop writing publicly?” I did not want to talk about that certain thing right now.
“You can try. But you’ll fail.” Ke kissed me on the forehead again. “Hey, when you get that audience with Lord Asmodel, tell me about it later. I’ve never met anyone from those spheres before. See you at the terrace, Menace.”
The world was blown away in an explosive gale. I was gently removed from the dream, and woke up comfortably in my bed.
Make of that, what you may.