It’s All Gray

There was only me, the devastation, and the sound of a little girl crying. I took a step, and noted I wore no shoes, but had panther feet. I was in the deathshroud of a Boneburner. Black raven wings came from my back, and my hands were more talon than human. I wore my deathmask, but it was featureless.

To my surprise, I found a familiar cord tied around my waist. Hanging off the cord was Horatio’s skull trinket, and a pair of iron skeleton keys of different lengths. The cord was securely knotted. I wondered why those would show up when I was in Boneburner mode but was soon distracted from the musing.

I took another step. The crying stopped. I didn’t need the sound to find her. I could smell her. It took some digging, but I found the girl’s broken body. Her spirit was trapped within it. As I pulled her free and picked her up, she started crying again.

“I wanna go home!”

I cradled her the best I could. “I know. But home is a different place now.”

“I’m tired!”

“I know. That’s why I’m here. I know where you can sleep and put all this behind you.”

“I want my Mommy!”

“I don’t know where she is. But I do know if you get some sleep, you’ll feel lots better. I know a place where you can sleep, and no one will bother you.”

Her spirit sniffed. She doesn’t understand that she’s dead. “I’m scared. Everyone is gone.”

“I know. But I’m here. And I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Want to get that sleep now?”

“Will you be there when I wake up?”

“I don’t know. I do know, when you wake up, everything will be okay.” I wasn’t lying. I just wasn’t telling her everything.

Her body was cold and bloated in my arms. Her spirit was small and clinging to the flesh. “Okay.” She sniffed from crying tears that never happened. “I want to go to sleep now. I feel better already.” Her spirit released its hold on her flesh. I sent the body to the Boneyard. I would have sent her spirit to the fires as well, but my instinct withheld me. I didn’t understand, but held her spirit close to me.

I wandered around. I felt there were other trapped spirits nearby. A bright column of light appeared to my right. “You found her when I could not. Deliver her to me that she may have rest.” The words were understood deep in my soul.

I did not recognize the pantheon, but my instinct recognized the nature of the light. I smiled unseen behind the mask, and held out the small ball of light that was the girl’s spirit. The column of light drew the girl’s spirit into itself. “Do not fear for her. She suffers no more.” The light withdrew as suddenly as it appeared.

I felt another presence nearby. “Hey! Boneburner!” I turned to see another Boneburner scrambling over the mounds. “Damn. I’m not the only one out here. Whoa. Wings!”

He was in a full length burial shroud tied at the waist with cord. He also wore a featureless white mask over his face. He stopped a few steps away and bowed a quick greeting. “What was that light?”

“The gods that the child was given to. She was too young to have decided her own fate, so the gods her parents had called to watch over her came for her.” A strange darkness was starting to fall over the area. “But why couldn’t they come for her themselves? Why did I have to intervene?” I was musing out loud and thinking on how long the field has been like this. “Tell me, have you seen others out here?”

“Yea. Something like dogs, digging in the rubble.” He looks around. “They saw me and scrambled away.”

“Please, please, please tell me when they left, you started digging where they were.”

“Um…”

“SHOW ME WHERE YOU SAW THEM DIG! NOW!” My wings quivered and the tips smoked with barely held anger.

He scrambled backwards and almost fell. “Yea! Yea! This way!” He hurried to the site but stopped short suddenly. “They’re back!”

I came up beside him. Three things I can only describe as skinless mutated direwolves were digging furiously in the dirt. I heard something shrieking like a wounded rabbit. Instinct took over and I moved.

I called my feathersword and transformed it into a long bladed spear. I jumped into flight before the scavengers saw me. They looked up and only saw the male boneburner standing on the ground. Two of the scavengers bared teeth at him and started maneuvering into charging positions. The third, which had my attention, was pulling its prize out of the ground. Caught in its teeth was the body of another child, with the spirit of the child trapped within.

I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry out. I didn’t flare up or make any noise. I became as dark as my wings, as dark as the shadows falling over the land. I didn’t descend. I didn’t fall. One moment I was hovering over the scavengers. The next moment I had moved onto the successful scavenger. My blade buried deep in its back, severing the spine. My inertia crushed the lower half of the scavenger’s body into the dirt it stood on. I threw my wings outward after landing, pushing the other two scavengers away and knocking them off their feet.

Leaving the blade in the scavenger impaled him to the ground. I jumped to my right, leaping onto the scavenger. It was three times my size easy, but I was righteously pissed. In the first strike, it lost an eye. In the second strike it lost its neck. In the third strike, I grabbed its head and wrenched it off its body.

Throwing the grisly trophy to the side, I turned to deal with the third scavenger. But it had fled while I was busy. The boneburner still stood on top of the mound. His face was obscured by the mask, but his body posture told me he was in shock of what he witnessed.

“Come here!”, I told him. I went to the first scavenger. The jaws were still locked on the child’s body. The spirit was terrified.

“Aren’t you a little too young to be having adventures?” I spoke to the spirit to keep from decking the boneburner. I felt the spirit look up at me. “How about we bring this one to an end and get you some rest, eh?”

“P… p… Please? This isn’t fun!” The boy’s spirit found enough presence to speak to me. “I’m scared!”

“I know you are. Just give me… us… a bit, and we’ll have you out of there.” I looked at the boneburner who had not moved a step. I lifted my mask and gave him quite the stinkeye. He properly interpreted the facial gesture and hurried to my side.

“Wh…”

“You’re new here. We’ll talk after we send this kid off. Here. Hold the jaw up like this.” While he held up the squishy flesh, I pulled the boy’s body off of the impaling teeth. While I made sure that every part of the dead boy’s body had been collected, the boneburner started to reach for the shaft of the transformed feathersword.

“I wouldn’t touch that, if I were you. Not if you value having the use of your hands when you wake up.” He withdrew immediately and backed away.

“Can I go home now?” The spirit’s question hit me deep. The May/Can usage issue is one I take great delight in tormenting my own daughter about. If the boy was living, I would be chiding him gently about asking if he is capable instead of if he has permission. But this time, it is the right question with a pained answer.

“I have to take you elsewhere. Home is not… safe.” His broken body was folded in on itself. He was still clinging to it. “Where I am taking you, is.”

I stood up, holding the boy’s remains in one arm, and grabbed the feathersword with my free hand. At my touch, the sword cut away from the scavenger and became the double-edged sword I am familiar with. A purposed thought recalled the sword to my inner depths. The boneburner just watched all in mute surprise.

“Where are you taking him?”

“Not one word out of you. Not yet.”

“Yes’m.”

I took a few steps away from the scavenger and addressed the boy’s spirit. “The painful part of your adventure is done, young man. But, um, I don’t know what happens next. How do you want your adventure to end?”

“By coming home, of course.” The words were emanated by another being of light. An angel, but not of the Christian pantheon. “The boy’s true home awaits him. But I could not reach him to escort him there. But now that you have freed him, I can bring him the rest of the way.”

“Yay!” The boy’s spirit released his hold on his broken flesh. He was eager to go with the angel. “You missed it! There was a lot of noise and then it was all dark! And then this dark thing came and grabbed me and it was all ‘RAWR’! And then she came with this flashing sword and POW! And now you’re here! And I get to go home!”

I held out the crumpled body. The angel pulled the boy’s spirit free from his flesh. “I have what I require. I know what you mean to do with what remains. [Boneburner]. Do are you are meant to do.”

Angelus. Tell me. You are the second to say they have been blocked from their duties. What happened to cause this? And how is it I can intercede?”

The angel looked at the spirit of the boy in his hands and judged his words carefully. “You can intercede because you are dead and living, you are incarnate and disembodied, as are all those of your nature. There are always those that predate on the vulnerable. And those who help them are damned and despised by all others.” He bowed in farewell and departed.

It was then I noticed when the two entities had come for their charges, their light brought color back into the world. When they left, all returned to shades of gray. I did not know what this meant, but kept it in my heart.

“Was that an angel?” Ah. Yes. The new kid. It would look very bad on my record if I took the kid’s head off right now. Instead, I called the fires of the Boneyard to take away the empty body I still held.

“Yes and no. Depends on how you define ‘angel’.” I took a deep breath to remain calm. “Tell me. Did you see any other scavengers digging? Did you see any other scavengers at all? And did you hear anything crying out, even if it sounded like an animal?”

I turned around to face him. He lifted his mask to speak clearly. A youthful face, appearing barely sixteen. I had to smile, as I knew that appearance was greatly misleading considering all the times I appeared sixteen to Ravenwoman.

“Uh… no… no other scavengers. I did hear something like a kitten, though.”

“Take me to where you heard it.” He pointed off in a direction. I pushed him in the direction he pointed. As we walked I started asking questions. “How long have you been a Boneburner?”

“A year?” He didn’t sound sure. “I think. Time is weird. It feels like I always have been. But I’m just now learning what that is.”

I understand that feeling. “Do you know what a Boneburner is, what a Boneburner does, and the responsibilities that come with it?” As I spoke, I realized I didn’t have the complete answer to my own question.

“We burn bodies?”

“That’s it?”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

We both came to a stop at the same time. A faint sound, much like a kitten mewling, could be heard from a small mound. He shrugged. “See. It’s a kitten.”

I slapped him upside the head a little harder than necessary. “Dipshit. Boneburners can hear trapped spirits. Look around you. Nothing should be making a noise. NO LIVING THING is here except for you and me, and you’re already on my short list.” I narrowed down where the sound was coming from. Another trapped child. I pointed. “Dig.”

He nodded and started pulling chunks of rubble away. “Aren’t you going to help?”

I called the feathersword to my hand again. “I am helping. I’m giving you peace to dig. Those scavengers aren’t the only things out here. Time has passed and spirits are still trapped. You are not able to defend yourself, much less defend the spirits. I didn’t understand why I was pulled here, but now I do.”

He continued digging. “But this is a lot of work!”

I turned my back on him and watched the scattered debris around us. “Do you understand what we are doing? And why?” I almost asked if he understood what we are. But I had even less a grasp of that then the other questions.

The mewling grew louder. “We burn bones.” More rock and dirt thrown aside. “And are psychopomps. You handed those spirits off to their gods, after all. So that’s escorting to an afterlife.” He pulled a piece of wood free, and looked at it in sudden recognition. “And… um… oh my god. Those were children.”

“Answer the question, Boneburner. Why are we here?”

“This belongs to a baby!”

“Focus, Boneburner!” The mewling became clear. “If you can’t answer, at least pull the baby’s body free. Try to pull it intact if you can. Scattered pieces sometimes shatter the spirit.”

“It… I… ” He turned away and vomited in great heaves. When he was able to breathe, he let out a great painful cry. Shit. That’s gonna attract attention. “THERE’S A BABY IN THERE AND IT’S DEAD!”

“Are you sure you’re a Boneburner? A year, you say?” I looked around and saw nothing approaching. Putting the feathersword away, I knelt at the hole and grabbed the green hued flesh. The baby’s body came out easily. The boy looked up just in time to see me holding the dead infant. He turned away and vomited again.

“Keep this up and we’re going to have more scavengers than I can deal with. Or worse. Here’s the thing, kid, there’s more to us than just burning bodies and making sure the dead get to their afterlife. The angelus had us pegged to rights. Every Boneburner I have met had died at one point in their current life and came back to life. Even me. We are both dead, and alive. We are all also Travelers, that is, we can journey outside of our bodies. That makes us both incarnate, that is fleshed, and disembodied, that is wandering spirits. We’re paradoxes. And that allows us to do things that other entities can not do.”

The body of the baby was broken. I cradled it close and the baby’s spirit stopped crying. “Psychopomp is one of our job descriptions, but it’s not the only one. We are also Defenders of the Dead. And that title is one you are very close to earning the hard way.”

He sat back on the ground and wiped his mask with his shroud. “‘Defenders of the Dead’? The dead are dead! What do they need defending from?”

“Jesus Fucking Christ! Were you paying attention! What did that monster have in its jaws? You think they were after flesh? Two very fucking powerful agents of two very fucking powerful pantheons just said they are being blocked from retrieving souls from here! BLOCKED! That is not a fucking accident of fate! If you and I, mere mortals, can come to the field of the dead, what the fuck makes you think other mortals can’t as well! And not everyone that comes to the dead comes to ease them into peaceful oblivion. I assure you. There are those that would predate on the dead, and it is our job to stop them when we come across them.”

“Predate? Like predators and shit? There are things that can eat the spirits of the dead?”

The spirit of the baby became a jewel that embedded itself in my flesh over the sternum. “Have you met the Ravens directly? Or are you still using a proxy?”

“You’re the first Boneburner to talk more than five words to me.”

“Probably because I have a weakness for spoiled brats. You’ve been to the Boneyard. A few times at least. You wouldn’t have the mask and shroud otherwise. So you’ve seen the birds.”

“Yea.”

“Did you notice the guardians only took the spirits and left the flesh behind?”

“Yea.”

“I’ll let you put two and two together.” I called the Boneyard fires to my hands and transported the body of the baby away.

“Oh my god!”

“God and gods have no jurisdiction there. But that is where the bodies wind up. Sometimes, with spirits still in them. If the spirits are unclaimed by certain pantheons, or if those pantheons release their claim on certain dead, they wind up in the Boneyard where the last things that hold them to life are burned away. If flesh is still attached… well… Good eats.”

“That’s monstrous! Are you even human? Your hands! And you have wings!” I looked at them. I remembered first seeing Ravenwoman’s taloned hands and trembling in fear. I started laughing, then remembered where I was and quickly silenced my mirth.

“Yea. I’m human.” And I was sure of it. Finally. “But we’re not in the Waking world where humans look human. I’ve met evil that looks more beautiful than any Hollywood starlet. And I’ve met humans so hideous, I seize from the sight of them. You can’t depend on merely what you see. You have to learn how to understand what you see, and in some cases how to completely ignore sight altogether.”

In the distance I heard a shrill wailing. I stood up to listen better. The young man, overcome with instinct, stood up as well. “What’s that?”, he whispered.

“Our next client.”

“Are they always children?”

“No. And that bothers me.” I started walking towards the noise, calling my feathersword to hand. Just in case.

“You expecting trouble?”

“I am trouble. But yes, there is something wrong with this whole affair. I just haven’t figured it out yet. The bodies are not likely to be as neat as we’ve found them already. You going to be able to deal with it? If not, leave.”

“No, Ravenwoman, I can deal. I just… I just didn’t know what to expect and this is all just too much to take at once.”

“Yea.” I took a few more steps before I realized what he called me. “The fuck you just call me?”

“Ravenwoman.”

I stared at him mutely for a few seconds, unable to process what he said. “Why?”

“Because you have raven wings! And raven hands! And it’s like you’re one of them but in human form!” He swallowed hard and suddenly donned his mask. “Should I not have?”

‘Should I not have.’ God damn, he even answered like I did. I didn’t remove my mask, but allowed it to hide the conflicting emotions dancing across my face. “No. It’s okay. Just remember I’m human, too. So if I act too much an ass towards you, call me out for it. I’m not untouchable.”

We continued walking across the field. Just as we crested another low hill, the shrill cry suddenly stopped. Below us, were two humanoid shapes. One had an open jar and lid. The other was manhandling a body.

“[Horatio]! Pick one and fuck ’em up!” The boy for something to defend himself with and was surprised when the skull trinket on my hip emitted a strange cloud. Horatio pulled himself together and quickly flew towards the surprised men.

“Watch for others, boy! Let me know if anyone else tries to sneak into the fun!” I was right behind Horatio. The two men did not flee, but stood their ground.

The one with the jar threw it at Horatio. “Better than Pokemon!”, he cried. Horatio caught the jar and crushed it.

“I’m already bound, Sirrah. Wish you to join me in servitude?’ The jar-thrower answered by turning to flee.

The one manhandling the body did not drop his prize. Instead, he thrust his hand into the dead child’s chest and ripped the child’s spirit away. He threw the empty body away and started running away as well, stuffing his prize into a bag tied to his waist.

I shrieked, raised the feathersword over my head, and brought it down into the ground. The sword cleaved through rubble into the earth below us. The earth shuddered as a fissure formed at my feet, extending towards the running man. He never looked behind him, and so never saw the danger. The fissure would continue as long as I held the sword in the earth’s wound. When the man fell into the crack at his feet, I withdrew the sword.

The fissure closed up, trapping the man at his knees. As I ran to my prize, I heard the distinctive sound of snapping bone. “Madame! My target has been ‘fucked up’, as you requested. What shall I do with his spirit?”

“Hold on to it for now. Check for anyone else in the immediate vicinity. If all clear, stand with the boy for now.”

“Yes, Madame.”

“Oh, and [Horatio]… Don’t fuck with me.”

He bowed. “No, Madame.”

The spirit-thief was screaming obscenities. “I’ll eat them! Each and every one!” He was clutching the bag of stolen spirits close to his mouth.

“You’ll try. And you’ll choke. You’re not a spirit-eater.” I reached for the bag but he flailed at me. I backhanded him so hard, his spine popped as he twisted from the blow. He whimpered as I took the bag from him. “What is keeping you out of sight of the guardians? The moment you pulled the spirits free, you should have been spotted.”

“I’ll tell you… but you have to promise to let me go.” He sneered at me in sudden confidence. “I know your type. You have a moral law that keeps you to certain things. You want to know why you’re the first to catch me? Promise me you’ll release me unharmed.” Rotted teeth told me more about him than he knew.

“You’re not a spirit-eater, but you can pull the dead from their bones. You’re acting under someone’s, or something’s aegis. You collect the spirits, and deliver them. In payment you get some spiritual fix.” I leaned in and sniffed him closely. “Not infernal, not demonic… but definitely some devouring master. Your master is not strong enough to keep entire pantheons at bay, but opportunistic enough to take advantage of someone else’s game. And smart enough not to enter the field himself.”

I stood up and looked at Horatio and the boy still on the crest of the hill. “You two! Come here!” They came as ordered. “Horatio, still have that man’s spirit?” He produced a small ball of gas. I bid him to continue holding it.

“Boy, still wonder why the dead need protecting?”

“No, Ravenwoman.” Horatio lifted an eyebrow but yielded and bowed when I stared at him.

“Good Sirrah, you say you know my type? You do indeed. But you have me confused with some Goody Two Shoes. I’m more akin to your master than you think.” Quickly I cut off the captured man’s arms at his shoulders and seared the wounds with bonefire. I took the spirit from Horatio and stuffed it in the captured man’s screaming mouth. I slammed the jaw closed with such force that the jaw bones broke and caught against the bones of the skull. This jaw will never open again. “Tell your master that he plays on the wrong field. Have a nice day.”

“Horatio, return to your trinket. And you, boy, come along. We need to get clear of the bait.”

Horatio did as ordered. The teen scrambled to keep up with me. “You’re just going to leave him like that?”

“Yup.”

“But, isn’t there some moral code we have to abide by?”

“Ha!” My laughter scared him. “What passes for mine is much more liberal than most think… or wish.”

“There are other scavengers!”

“Yes! That’s why he is still there! Let him draw them away so we can resume our work. No more leisurely walks. No telling what else is taking advantage of this… covering.”

Before the teen could ask me another question, we are surrounded by shafts of light. With the light, came color. Several angeli from different pantheons surrounded us.

“Gentlemen! Good! Knew if I walked away from the thief far enough, you’d find me. I believe I have some spirits that belong to y’all.” I took the bag of stolen spirits and emptied them in my hand. Looking like little pearls of light, there were eight spirits in mute suspension. I held them up to the angeli.

One took five of them. Another took two. The third took the last. “I have one more spirit, embedded here.” I pointed to the jewel on my chest. “Do any of you claim this one as well?”

All three passed on the baby’s spirit. They thanked me for freeing the stolen spirits and departed quickly leaving us in the grayscale wasteland. I started walking further away from the captured man, cursing profusely.

“What’s wrong, Ravenwoman?”

I don’t know why I didn’t tell him to call me ‘Weaver’ instead. “Ravenwoman” was a title to me, and one that I did have rights to wear, but it was a name to him and used as such.

“They were all children. No adults. And this… covering… that removes all color. I dream in color. I always have color. Even in the Boneyard, where there is only bones and ash, I still have color. Also, the angeli are prevented from retrieving their charges directly? What the hell? Something is very wrong here. Very, very wrong.” I did not admit this was my first time encountering such circumstances. My instincts were screaming that this was not normal, and my reasoning was agreeing.

Before he could find words to answer, we heard another cry. He didn’t wait for me to say anything, he just started walking towards it in a fast trot. “Am I going too fast?” In reply, I flew over his head, tapping the back of his skull with my foot. “Keep up!”, I yelled back at him. He rubbed his head and broke out into a flat run.

I arrived at the spot first. Extending the feathersword into a bladed pike again, I took up guard and stood at attention. He immediately started digging into the rubble.

Seeing a new Boneburner placed some deep parts of me at ease, but I don’t understand why. I remembered the Bone Temple and became troubled once more. “Hey. Kid.”

“Yes, Ravenwoman?”

“Two things. One, you can call me ‘Weaver’ if the title is too much of a mouthful. And two, remember the Ravens are the lords of the Boneyard. No one speaks for the Ravens. Trust me.”

“Yes, Ra… Weaver. Um… Is there something you’re not telling me? I mean, that’s really sudden.”

“I could tell you upfront, and you will make the wrong decision afterward. Some things you can only learn through experience. And I don’t know how a certain… thing… is going to present itself to you. The Ravens are more than you know. More than you expect. And no one speaks for them. Not even me.”

He pulls a bloodied doll from the rubble. He sighs, then reaches in for the body of the girl that treasured it. “Found one. And I’ll keep that in mind. Weaver.”

The child’s spirit came away neatly from the body. At once an angelus appeared to claim it.

As I sent the empty body to the Boneyard, the teen spoke. “That was fast. Like he was waiting.”

“They are. They know we’re here, and they’re tracking us now.”

“Why can they see us, but can’t see the dead?”

“That’s a damn good question.” I smelled the scent of death nearby. “Here’s a test for ya. There’s another spirit nearby, but it is not making a sound. You’re a Boneburner, you don’t need sound to find it. Find it.”

The teen turned around in a circle twice before settling on a direction. He took two steps before decided that was the wrong direction and changing course. The process of retrieving spirits continued on with silence between us. I noted that the angeli weren’t the only ones that knew we were here. The heavy shadows had retreated from us, as if intentionally trying not to cross our path. Our work continued on in silence.

I don’t know when the work ended, and with it, the dream. Only that when I awoke I was seven ways of righteously angry and burning with such a jealousy for the dead I couldn’t stand myself.


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