One of these days, I’ll apply the same policy I have for my physical phones to my spiritual phones. Just because it’s ringing, doesn’t mean I have to answer it. Just because I answer it doesn’t mean I have to fulfill the request. One of these days, I will.
Snake was at the fire before the lair, waiting patiently in Berber garb. He was playing his handdrum almost absentmindedly. I sat down beside him and asked if he had sent the summons.
“No, I did not. But after noting who did, I came prepared. Tell me, how quickly can you don the Angelus armor?”
“With a thought. Why?”
“You lose access to the feathersword when you do, correct?”
“I do, but I am not without weapons when in the Angelus armor. I can strike with both melee and ranged. If you did not summon me, who did?”
Snake stopped playing and looked across the fire to the shadows beyond. I followed his gaze and saw a figure step into the fire’s light. I have no nom de plume for the Fallen Angel. Only warm smiles of recognition. He wears the fingerless gloves I gave him, but still has strips of rags tied over his empty eye sockets. He has traded a torn skirt for a comfortable pair of jeans. Still shirtless, still lovely. The blight has turned formerly white shining feathers into oily black slicks. The horrific appearance is meant to strike fear in those that see him, to show that he is outcast. But there is a beauty in the form. The wings are strong and he attempts to hold them proudly despite the added weight. I am reminded the blight has only struck his wings and his hands, that is, his station and his deeds. His hair is still brightly white and has grown longer since I last saw him. The tips of his locks are dirtied with streaks of black from contact with his wings. His face is marred only by contact with the dirt from his hands.
He smiles. And I am overcome with the feeling that everything will be okay. I return the emotion openly.
Snake quietly harrumphs at our display.
“What?” I gently tease him.
“It’s never that easy when dealing with angels. You know that.”
“Yea, I know. But allow me a moment of weakness, will ya? Sometimes I need a little hope to get me through a day, or a series of days.”
“We could spend a year discussing you and your… Hope. But I’ll leave that salting of your consciousness for another time. He asked for you, but I placed a condition on passing along the request. That you leave a shard of yourself here should you go with him.”
“Last time we tried that, I was sealed in, remember? K’s lord imprisoned me on the terrace, and TA sealed me in that prism until I was able to break out of it. The moment I enter angelic realms, there is no guarantee I’ll be allowed to leave on my own terms. Granted, it’s like that everywhere I go, but that terrace is hostile territory as far as I’m concerned now.”
“You won’t be alone. Neither will I. But you are neutral to me and the others, and a voice of reason.” The Fallen Angel crouched before the fire. He did not tilt his head as if to look at me. He has adjusted well to lack of physical sight.
“The… others? You mean those that you have found fellowship with? And since when am I a voice of reason, this mortal that I am? I suggest you tell me in full what’s going on before I consider committing to anything.”
Snake resumed playing idly with his handdrum. The Fallen Angel sat fully on the ground before speaking. “I have been offered a pardon. A chance to return to the Holies.”
”Go on…”
”To take it, I need only present myself before my brother.”
I looked at Snake. Snake did not return the glare but tilted his head down. I turned back to the angel. “Tell me everything. Because as is, I’m not comfortable with this. Angels don’t forgive, nor pardon. Not the ones in the rank and file. Why would your brother, who sounds like your equal, be able to grant you a pardon now? Why could he not do this thing before you were condemned and exiled? What must you give up in exchange for this… pardon? Tell me everything, and leave nothing out, even if that casts you in a bad light. If you’re going to use me as your Voice of Reason, then you better tell me every god damn thing.”
”My brother, is my brother in that we are of the same lineage. However, he is not of my rank, not as you view ranks. He is my superior, and I served as his right hand. But I call him my brother for we are… were… all brothers in love. And in the light of the Most Holy we are all equals.” I watched his face glow slightly from the memory of what his existence was like before being exiled. God damn my compassionate heart. I ached for him. Only the knowledge of his superior brother’s rank tempered the budding nostalgia. I kept my thoughts to myself and allowed him to continue.
”My brother could not save me for I was guilty of the sin. I understand now. It took being removed from the glory of the Most Holy to see.” I raised an eyebrow, but somehow remained quiet. Snake shifted his position such that the folds of his head scarf hid his face from me. “I was too forceful, used too much power, was overly zealous in fulfilling the commands given to me. I acted out of my bounds, and did things I was not supposed to do.” The surety was absent from his voice now. He was still trying to convince himself of these thoughts, but he did not believe them even as he spoke them.
I never did.
”But now…” He tried to force a smile that I did not accept. “Now all I have to do is return to my brother, confess my sin, and accept the final gesture of contrition and I can return!” His facial muscles expressed hope. His trembling lip expressed sorrow.
Flatly, I asked, ”My friend. What is the final gesture of contrition?”
”I will be restored to a holy and pure state.” He lowered his head as if pronouncing a death sentence upon himself.
”Restored?” He did not answer, but my thoughts were elsewhere. I had restored K to nearly full health myself. It was painful for both of us, but nowhere near deserving the conflicting emotions the Fallen Angel was displaying. All it took was some rewiring of kir threads. Wait. Angels aren’t born, they are made from whole cloth. And what they are is determined why the hand that makes them. A type of preprogrammed consciousness. “My friend. When you say ‘restored’, are you saying your consciousness will be reverted to an earlier state of time? Like, say, erasing everything you know and starting over as if you were just created?”
”Ah. You understand, then.” He smiled bitterly.
I glanced at Snake who remained hidden from me. I turned over the full implications in my head. “That’s… that’s not a restoration. That’s death! You’re being asked to commit suicide! You’ll lose all knowledge and understanding you have accrued since you first opened your eyes! That’s experience that can never be recovered! And they’ll make sure you are never allowed the chance to revisit those places and people again, assuming they still exist! Whatever angel emerges from this restoration, it will be nothing like the angel sitting across from me now! Hell, that angel will probably attack me on sight for no other reason than I am a mortal that possesses glory! You won’t be you anymore! You are being asked to kill yourself! What the hell!”
He lowered his head and smiled with sorrow again. “That’s what the others said. And they were just as upset by the offer as you. I thought maybe, since you have a glory, that maybe you would see it differently. Death resets you as well. I thought you would understand.”
I laid back on the ground. I was dizzy from the intense emotions. I struggled with a more personal name to call him. “My dear… you are not incarnated. My death would destroy the human Keri. But the soul of Weaver would continue on. Whatever Weaver becomes next life will have to struggle to remember kirself, but the chain persists. That’s how I have the feathersword, and Snake, and some of the contacts that I have. They are carrying over from previous lives. You!” I pointed at him. “You are what I call a One-Shot. You came fully formed, and there is no carry over from your state. Once you are destroyed, that’s it. You no longer exist. The only way for you to carry over from this state, is to somehow duplicate yourself, or break off a piece of yourself, and lock that away while the reset happens. And then, somehow bring the remade and ignorant ‘new’ you and the locked away piece together and try to merge the two. I’m telling you right now, that is not a pleasant, nor guaranteed, experience. Because the blight, the condemnation, and the exile will be brought back all over again. It is part of your history, it is part of who you are right now. And as long as you are allowed to continue as you, it will always affect you.”
I sat up and dropped my shirt. “Look at these scars. Look past the ones that are skin deep. Granted, I’ve had a shitty life this time around, but look. Many of them predate Keri. Hell, some of them can’t be explained by a human life at all! Death resets the mask that Weaver wears, but it doesn’t reset Weaver. There are things that Keri can do only because Weaver went through the trauma some lifetime before and earned it. Now, look at yourself. The blight that was supposed to destroy you, now serves you. How many have you helped with that blight? How many innocents have you defended with that personalized weapon? Only the guilty is consumed by it now, right? You are an angel, my friend. You are a guarding and protective and sometimes revenging angel. That has never changed. All the exile did, was give you a different way to be who you are. And what your… brother… is asking will destroy that. And I want to know for what motherfucking reason why?”
He looked at his hands. “Because… I’m guilty….”
”Guilty of what! If I recall correctly, the day we met you had just been outcast. Your sin was loving too much and acting in blind devotion. You did as you were told, and you had followed the letter of the command, and for that you had bloody hands which made you unclean! That has always bothered me. For the past year, that has woken me up from a dead sleep. Why would you, a devoted angel, an obedient angel, be condemned for doing as he was told? Why did the blight not touch your head?” I scrambled to my knees and crawled quickly to his side. “Why does the blight not corrode your hair?” I wiped off the oil slick from the ends of his locks. His hair was pristine under the darkness.
He shook his head from not understanding. “It doesn’t, because you are not guilty of commanding the sin. Only the carrying out of the orders. That is why your hands were blighted. The sin did not originate with you. But your blind devotion stopped you from questioning the orders. Why would your superior… your brother… lead you astray?” He shook his head, rejecting the leading of my words. “Your wings were blighted because you had failed as angel. You did not verify the orders you were given were in accordance with the Most Holy. Your hands were blighted because you carried out the orders. But your head was not blighted, because you were, and still are, loyal to the Most Holy. Like you told me, you love the Divine with all of your being. No blight could touch that.”
”I’m…” He could not finish. He only started crying. No tears came from seared eye sockets, but the sobs wracked his shoulders just the same.
”You wanted my opinion, here it is. If you want to return to the Most Holy and start over, then go and submit to your brother. However, you will never see me again, never see the others you have broken bread with again, and will likely never know of anything else other than the Most Holy again. You will be dead to me and the others. If you want to hold on to the good memories and experiences you have accrued in your existence, then you must accept the bad memories and experiences as well. Refuse the offer, and continue doing as you do now. I will not tell you what to do. I will only help you uncover the motives and possible repercussions of the decisions.”
I stretched out on the ground beside him. I saw Snake’s face from this position. He raised an eyebrow in unspoken question. I subtly shook my head. I had already poured much uncertainty on the angel’s head. This was not the time to voice my opinion that his Brother Superior was likely the source of the sin. If he had completed unlawful orders, then it stood that the source of those orders was the source of the sin. How do you tell a person that the love of their life is the one that poisoned them?
The Fallen Angel worked out his fear and uncertainty in silence. I remained beside him. Snake remained across from us. “You… you think my brother is why I sinned?”
”No. I think he’s the reason you was exiled. Did you sin against your divinity? Yes. And that’s why the blight took your wings and tainted your hands. Did you deserve exile for your sin? No. I truly don’t believe that you do. I truly believe your brother superior used you as the scapegoat for his sins. After all, it was your hands that did the actual deed. At any time you could have asked for clarification, but you didn’t. Therefore, it’s all your fault and his only misconduct was loving you so much that he didn’t stop you. Which is another line of bullshit in itself. In short, I don’t trust the bastard, and I think he’s extending this so gracious offer to you to get rid of the evidence completely. But that’s between him, his conscious, and his divinity.”
I tried to fall silent, but I was now seeing several moves ahead in the game. “And another thing, just how are you supposed to present yourself to your brother superior in the first place? You’re exiled! Flaming sword at the gate and all that! I probably have a better chance of getting behind the walls than you do!”
”A way has been made for me. A place that is neither low, nor high. It is accessible by all. Normally, access would be guarded, as you say. But for this, I am allowed entry.”
I sat up and stared at Snake. Snake smiled. “I want your mark on me, this time. Warden. If I’m going to step into a trap, I want you to be able to have prior claim on my ass.” He nodded. As he lifted a hand, I felt a familiar searing squirming into my upper shoulders.
I nudged the Fallen Angel. “So, who else is going to this family reunion?”
”No one. Just me.”
”Ha… bullshit. A backdoor to the angelic realms has been opened and you’re telling me that none of your Company of Others is going to take advantage of that? Not to mention, you’re still very much as guileless as a toddler, and listening to this story is like watching a stranger in a beatup van asking if you want to see his puppies. There is no way in hell nor heaven I’m going to allow you to step there by yourself if it be in my power. Especially when you haven’t made up your mind about your suicide or not. The moment you say you want to live, my armaments will be there to enforce your decision.” I lifted my hands to his face and clenched my fists. The Angelus gauntlets came over them quickly. “You want to stop me? Then tell me now not to accompany you.”
”Would you remain if I said so?”
Smiling I said, ”Hell no. I’d just follow your tracks and arrive a second late to the party.”
He sighed. “Well, that’s a better answer than the others. Who have probably already arrived by now. You don’t have to come with me.” He rose to his feet.
I started up as well until an idea froze me in place. “No… I don’t… And I don’t have to arrive with you, either. Trust me?”
”What have you in mind?”
”I still don’t trust your brother superior. Allow me to arrive first. Keep me between you and him. Let only words cross. If he is being truthful, that will come out. If he is trying to deceive you, that will be revealed as well. He can only blind you. I’m a harder fool to connive.”
The Fallen Angel stood silently. He lowered his head in resignation. “Very well. Here is where I’m to meet him.”
~~~
I entered the terrace from the mortal path. Looking around the featureless landscape, I muttered a few obscenities about the similarity to my own terrace of trials. The ground had been newly made however. No plants. No animals. Just a level ground of sterile gray dirt, bounded by a steep drop off into oblivion.
I stepped forward as Weaver Far-Traveled. My boots ground against the pebbles as I used my Sight to look for areas more unusual than what was already present. I spiraled in from the edge, looking over all ground as least three times until I arrived at the center of the terrace.
A bright light bloomed over my head. My ears rung with the barely audible harmonies that come with the presence of an angelic lord. I remained without armor and greeted the solidifying form.
”Hello! I am Weaver. I heard there was to be a wonderful occasion to happen here! I guess I arrived early.”
Six white wings. Six white arms. One white face. Two golden eyes. Two white and lean legs. Gendered male. Appearing like an older version of the Fallen Angel, but his hair has more golden tint to it. Could be the three halos of glory around his head. Two were white but one was golden in hue. The lower left arm held a massive tome. The lower right hand carried a quill. The middle right hand carried a piece of rubber that I knew to be an eraser. The middle left hand’s fingertips was stained from ink. The upper right hand was pointing up, but for what reason I do not know. The upper left hand was pointing accusingly at me.
”Who are you that dares to step before an Angel of the Most Holy!” I could hear the capitalization in his speech. I bit my lip to keep from making a snark about pride. “This is not your place, mortal! Begone! Lest I banish you.” He descended away from me. His unshod feet never touched the ground. He never stopped pointing at me.
I bowed with formal applomb. “Good day to you, Angel of the Most Holy. I am Weaver Far-Traveled. And I was asked to come here. You see, I have a better chance to weathering unwelcome surprises than the one that called me. Including banishment.” I kicked a pebble. “This land is unclaimed. You can’t banish me from land you don’t own. And I got here first. By rights, I should be threatening to banish you, but where’s the fun in that? No, I’m here to witness a reunion. Let there be joy instead of anger.”
The angel kept my apparent attention, but my Sight was revealing that over my head were several dozen angelic entrances. Each of them were outside the view of my physical sight and barely within the range of my Sight. Appearing as indistinct globes of light, they arranged themselves in a cylinder formation above us, as if they were assembling on a spiral staircase that wound the diameter of the terrace. I noted the speaking angel never made any indication of knowing of the others. Since he is remaining silent, so shall I. For now.
The angel’s face twitched. He was not used to someone bucking his orders, much less a mortal. I smiled warmly in an attempt to appear as if I wanted the situation defused. But to be honest, this dick was irritating me so much just by existing, I wanted any excuse to engage in hostilities. I had to remind myself why I was here.
”Who sent you!” His voice was thick with the assumption of authority over me. I took a breath to answer with calmer tones, but his arrogance made him impatient. “Answer me, mortal, or I’ll rip the answer from your throat!” Above us, the globes remained static, but I could feel their attention intensify.
Yes, I want to kick his ass, gentlemen. I directed my thoughts up towards the globes. But my purpose here is not about what I want. I have been directed to keep peace and not to throw the first punch. If I’m right, you are not the only witnesses to our actions, and I am accountable.
I bowed again, with malicious formality. The action delayed my answer, infuriating the angel. “I was sent, dear Angel of the Most Holy, by one that refers to you as ‘Brother Superior’.” The angel’s fury dissipated, blanching his face. “For reasons that I am sure you know of, he is wary of approaching anything, anyone, or any place that is blessed by the Most Holy. He fears there may be a… reaction… with the weights on his shoulders, and that such reaction may strike you with grievous effect.”
The angel folded his upper arms. I noted he gripped the tome excessively tight, and was near to snapping the quill in half. “He is that concerned, is he? He sends a defiler in his place and worries?”
”Defiler. Heh. You and I both know that wounds of the heart are more crippling than any loss of wing or arm. He does not wish to see you harmed because he comes in your presence. Love drives all sentients into bouts of madness, doesn’t it. Blinds us to many a danger and exposes our weaknesses.” I spoke smoothly, to soothe him and myself. I felt other entities approach, but from below. The audience was almost complete. “He sends a request of you. A question he requires answered before he decides his answer to yours.”
”He requires…” The angel puffed up in anger then forced himself to calm down. “My brother requires… love. I do not know how much he has told you, but I’m sure you have seen his… state. I offer a reprieve. A pardon. To accept it, he merely must present himself here, acknowledge his actions that led to the breaking of love, and he will be forgiven.”
I backed away slightly from the center of the terrace and from the angel. “So he has shown me, and so he has told me. But he is still unsure. He doesn’t know how far his sin spread from him, you see. He acknowledges the actions of his hands, but he has a question that only you can answer.”
The quill visibly bent in the angel’s hand. “What question, mortal?”
I coughed slightly and stood with a courier’s stance. “Your Brother Inferior wishes me to ask of you, Brother Superior, why did you not tell him that his actions were a sin against the Most Holy?” The angel bristled and ground his jaw. “He depended on you for guidance and verification, and you did neither for him. Why then, should he accept your guidance now, when you failed him before?” I bowed my head slightly when the words ceased. I still stood without armor, but I was prepared a physical reply. And eager.
The haloes of glory intensified around the angel’s head, but I was not blinded by them. He floated in random movements as his fury shook his form. His hand kneaded the rubber. The quill was bent in half. The book was pressed to his form as if his torso would consume it.
”DELIVER HIM TO ME, MORTAL! OR I WILL TEAR YOUR SOUL APART!” A wave of glory crossed the terrace with his shout. The shock wave deafened my ears and rustled a few strands of hair out of place. I remained standing, unimpressed by the outburst.
”You are not the first angel to threaten me. You will not be the first angel to lay hands on me. You won’t even be the first angel to actually wound me. We are in between realms, angel. Your commands, your threats, have no purchase here. Now then, back to the matter at hand. Will you answer his question, or will I take your silence as your answer?”
He shook his head at my rebellion. His unencumbered hands flexed and gripped and opened. I knew he was of high rank. I wondered if this was the first time he had ever been openly refused before. When he finally spoke, it was more the escaping of compressed virulence than actual speech.
”I will answer that, only to him. Not, to an unclean idolater.”
”Idolater? That’s all you got? Geeze. I’m a walking thesaurus of offenses and bywords, and all you can come up with is idolater? Whatever that book is you’re holding, you better sit down and read it again. Your vocabulary and your social graces are lacking.” I made a great show of looking around the terrace. “Come to think of it, so are your weapons. Are you going to throw the book at me and hope it breaks my neck, angel? Got some Vogon poetry to destroy my sanity with? It’s just you and me here. I’ll be a good girl, and not touch you. First. However, I’m not leaving.”
I felt the entities just below the terrace rise higher. If they were the Fallen Angel’s Company of Others, I was silently praying that they remain out of sight. One entity came up and over the edge behind me.
”Brother. Brother Superior. She is only trying to keep me safe. Do not be angry at her. From her point of view, you are a threat.” SHIT! The Fallen Angel stepped as if to move around me. I turned around and forcibly pushed him back behind me. He looked at me in surprise.
”No matter what happens, keep me between you and him. No matter fucking what! He still hasn’t answered your question, and there is more going on here than you think!” I felt a disturbance behind me. Yielding to my instinct, I pulled the Fallen Angel down as I turned and summoned my Angelus armor. The bolt of solidified glory bounced harmlessly off my armored arm and was deflected off the terrace. “See?” I spoke unnaturally loud in hopes the Company of Others would hear me and take the hint. “There is no one here but you, me, and him. Let’s keep it that way.”
The entities below the terrace stopped rising. I could feel them assemble just below the line of sight. Though I’m sure they were visible to the column of angels above us. I thought it odd that the other angels had not intervened yet.
I faced Brother Superior and saw his upper right hand was smoking. I smirked and snorted in open derision. “You are supposed to answer in a way that Brother Inferior understands, Brother Superior. However, if you wish more foreplay, that can be arranged.”
Brother Superior screamed and began to gather more glory to his hand for another bolt. The lowest globe of invisible light burst into the visible spectrum. Brother Superior floated quickly away. The burst didn’t surprise me, and I had kept my sight on Brother Superior’s face. I wasn’t surprised, but he was shocked. I realized he didn’t know the others were there.
Physically, the new arrival looked the same as Brother Superior. But instead of carrying a book and quill, he carried two sickles, two daggers, and two flails. He also wore a plain gold circlet on his head, along with the three halos. He looked at the Fallen Angel without response. He looked at me, and nodded his head in a greeting I returned. He looked at Brother Superior and hardened his face. “I would hear the answer to the question as well. [unintelligible] has acknowledged his sin, but has laid a charge against you. Did you not reveal to him that his actions were not in accordance with the will of the Most Holy? Did you lead him to not look elsewhere for guidance?”
Brother Superior spoke in the language of angels, which sounded like the screaming of hurricane winds to my ear. The Fallen Angel caught his breath from hearing what I interpreted to be a scathing condemnation. The new arrival narrowed his eyes in a gesture that any human would take as the last sign of impending doom. “The mortal does not understand that language. It would be rude to speak with such, and in doing so, intentionally withhold your accusations. You said that because she is apostate from [the Christian God] that her words hold no value? Truth cares not what robes she is clothed in, or if she is clothed at all. Truth speaks, and the wise listen. It is the foolish that seek her silenced. Do you seek her silenced, [Brother Superior]?”
He floated away another inch, and dropped head and wings in a sign of submission. “I seek Truth above all else, [Brother Martial].” (That’s not what he called him, but that’s how I grokked the name.)
”Then answer the questions. Did you stop [the Fallen Angel] from seeking guidance elsewhere? When he began to sin, did you speak to him about it? Did you remain silent when you should have spoken?”
”Yes. I did.” I couldn’t help but smile at his admission. “I prevented my lost brother from seeking others. But only to prevent him from spreading the thinking that encouraged his sin to others! I hoped that he would turn back to holy ways, but his sin was complete and he was blinded long before his eyes were seared.” I actually facepalmed.
As Brother Superior continued to try and talk away from an outright admission of guilt, I heard the Fallen Angel sink to his knees and cry. I turned to help him. The blight was spreading across his hands and upper arms again. His wings were gooey and seemingly melting off of him. He wanted so much to believe in his brother, that he was accepting the blame and the guilt of his brother’s sins.
It gave me an idea.
”Hey. Remember what I said about why the blight hasn’t touched your head?” He nodded slowly, each dip taking longer than the one before, until he stopped nodded and lifted his head in anger. “There’s only one way to test that theory. But you must promise me, you will flee at the first notice of trouble.”
”I can’t make that promise.”
My lopsided smile betrayed me. “I understand that sentiment. Take off your gloves while Brother Superior is distracted.”
”He won’t let me near him.”
”Doesn’t matter.” I kissed the blight on his palms. It tickled like pins and needles as the tendrils quickly spread into my lips. It would die in a matter of minutes because I had nothing to feed it. I carried no guilt about what I had done, or was about to do. As I backed away, he regloved his hand.
I turned and caught Brother Martial’s eye. I made a kissing gesture with my glistening black lips and nodded at Brother Superior. Brother Martial’s eyebrow raised in surprise, but settled quickly back to a stoic position. He made no gesture with his weapons, but backed subtly away from Brother Superior.
I blinked across the terrace to Brother Superior. Before the angel could react, I planted a perfect kiss on his word-caught lips. He slapped me with an open hand, which I grabbed and bit as hard as I could to transfer the last of the blight onto him. He threw me off of him, screaming obscenities in many languages.
Brother Martial rose slightly as he continued to back away. More angels dropped into visible sight. As they did, the Company of Others scrambled up over the edge of the terrace. I extended the six wings of my Angelus armor, and allowed the glory to be seen. “Remain with your fellow! Do not come past me or it will be seen as a malicious act!” The Company of Others gathered around the Fallen Angel and remained a block of silence.
The angels above us were armed with a great variety of weapons, but I saw not a single book among them. They said nothing but watched Brother Superior’s response to the blight he had been seeded with.
Brother Superior wiped the blight off his hands like so much grains of salt. He was still screeching at the indignity he had just suffered and was still promising much pain and soul rending for my future. He held up his hands. “Defiler! You could not harm m’…” His lips fell off and disintegrated before they reached the ground.
No other words were thrown into the air. Brother Superior looked at his pristine hands and then touched his darkening face. Pieces of cheek flesh flaked away at the tactile exploration. He turned wide-eyed to Brother Martial. I heard a high pitched keening.
Brother Martial noted dryly, “You would not answer the question by word. So you shall answer it by action. Your hands are unblemished, for you did not commit the action of sin. But your mouth, dear brother, is rotting away, and it appears the entirety of your face shall suffer the same. It would appear the mortal’s accusations are correct. [The Fallen Angel] may have committed the deeds of the sin, but you prevented him from seeking true guidance and spoke the evils that spurred him to action. The condemnation of the Most Holy is absolute and flawless. If you were not guilty, you would not be affected.” He gestured over Brother Superior who raised a hand as if to deflect the condemnation. In doing so, half of Brother Superior’s face bloodlessly slid off.
Brother Superior fell to the ground, grinding his knees into the sharp pebbles. Legs quivered that never had to support weight before now struggled to maintain position. Brother Martial turned his attention away from the struggling angel and focused on me, the Fallen Angel, and the Company of Others.
”It is well that you are here to keep the peace, Weaver [K]-bane.” I winced at the name, but nodded just the same. “If not for your presence, all those here condemned by the Most Holy would be scoured from His Perfect Sight. I am aware of the pretense [Brother Superior] used to call [the Fallen Angel] within striking distance. [The Fallen Angel] acted in good faith, however, and has shown contrition over his actions. You have acted in good faith as well, though your methods are crude. As such, I shall authorize what was promised to [the Fallen Angel]. Restoration of his status, and reunification with the love and glory of the Most High. Furthermore, I shall allow the others to depart from this place without prejudice. However, should I, or my brethren, encounter them again at a later date, their condemnation shall be made complete.”
I wanted to be snarky. Seeing Brother Superior crawling on the ground with the flesh melting off his skull satisfied my bitterness. But I still feared for my friend. “Brother Martial, gracious is the offer you extend. Please, pardon my ignorance, but will the restoration heal his eyes? They were burned out and there is nothing I can do for him as is.”
Stoically he replied, “His eyes can not be restored. However, all memory of the suffering he has endured shall be removed. After his restoration, he will have no knowledge of the lack of eyes, and his position shall be such that such physical alteration will be expected.”
”Death, Angel. Like I told you. You’ll just fill a slot somewhere else, but you won’t be who you are now.” One of the Company of Others muttered loudly his assessment of Brother Martial’s offer.
”Of course not. Right now he is fallen and condemned. Any restoration will require a purging of his acquired sinful nature.” Brother Martial showed a glimmer of surprise that anyone would not wish to be restored. “What drives him shall remain. Only the knowledges and thoughts that led him astray will be purged.”
The Fallen Angel laid a hand on my shoulder. I stepped to the side to clear the path to Brother Martial. He started to step forward, but noted the still twitching body of Brother Superior on the ground. He sighed, lowered his head, and shook it gently.
”[Brother Martial], I have seen too much and experienced too much. I am not ready for my destruction just yet. There is so much more to see and more to experience. Holy is the Most Holy, and perfect are His ways, but I am perfect no more. I accept my fate, and my exile.”
One by one, the Company of Others jumped off the terrace to return to their hiding holes and indwellings in the world. The armed angels above us watched with no reactions, physical or verbal. I watched with Sight to see if they would try and mark the Others for later ‘justice’, but true to Brother Martial’s word, they were allowed to leave without incident. I embraced the Fallen Angel for one last fearless hug before he left and then he was gone as well.
”Weaver Angel’s Sorrow, one moment, please.” Ah, fuck. This won’t end well. I turned to face Brother Martial. As I did, his troupe descended and formed a fence of bodies around the terrace. I was still bedecked in the Angelus armor. I could feel Snake’s mark on my shoulders. I bowed in response to Brother Martial’s call.
”You have no enemies here, Weaver. I merely ask a task of you. [The Fallen Angel] did not know, but he decided not only his fate, but the fate of Brother Superior as well. Because he did not choose restoration, but chose exile instead, Brother Superior will also be exiled.” As he spoke, junior angels with only four wings and four arms came and took Brother Superior’s items and artifacts.
”And as the punctuation to the statement of condemnation, he is to be dragged out of heaven’s arms by the very defiler he threatened when the curtains rose, eh?” The smirk was evident in my tone.
”Something like that. The curse has touched him and took root. We can not touch him without becoming ritually unclean.”
I should be happy, to see the bastard finally getting his due. The victory felt hollow. The mask of mirth dropped from my face as I nodded in acquiescence. “Alright. I’ll take out your trash. But you understand I have no control over what he does, or what is done to him, once he leaves this terrace.”
Brother Martial bowed and backed away to the edge of the terrace. My nerves twitched in anticipation. If I was supposed to drag off a body, then why am I being fenced in? Is there a social faux pas they are waiting for me to commit before attacking me? What is it that I do not know?
I reached down to grab one of the prone angel’s arms. At the touch, he jerked violently away from me and gargled his displeasure. “Eww. Fuck. That sounds awful. Come on, you. You’re getting evicted.” I reached for an arm again, but he pulled himself up and off the ground. The blight was still active in his flesh. It had eaten nearly all the flesh from his head, and was now burrowing down his chest. It looked like the blight was going to eat his heart and spine as well. Fitting, I suppose. But not crippling. He made a show of his hands and gargled in anger again.
”So, um, if you haven’t noticed, you no longer have the tokens of your office, because you no longer have an office. Your sins have caught up with you, and now it’s time to join your victim in exile. Come along quietly, and I’ll find a nice spot to set you down where you’ll have a day’s head start in procuring defenses for yourself. Come along not so quietly, and I’ll find out if angel bones burn in the Boneyard.”
He answered me with a rain of hardened glory projectiles. As I changed my hands into harpy wings and brought them up before me, I yelled out, “Why hasn’t the blight taken his wings, yet? He should be stripped of glory, right?”
”He should. But he isn’t. Yet. How unfortunate.”
I muttered several expletives about the situation. “Alright. Fine. How far can I go, Brother Martial? What is the line I should not cross?”
”Do as you please.”
”Very well.” I blinked behind the blighted angel and confirmed the epithet. Six wings fell away from the stricken angel. Four were still brilliant white. Two were showing signs of blight. As Brother Superior stumbled forward and turned to face me, I spit fireseeds on all six.
-How dare you!- His words tickled my brain and smelled of dirty laundry. -You have marred my perfection!- He filled my head with vertigo inducing images and revolting smells. I stumbled to a knee trying to regain control over my senses. But the more I used reason, the greater his effect on me.
”Betrayer. You had one job, and you fucked it up for personal gain. You are an Angel of the Most Holy! You swore an oath to uphold righteousness! How many others are fallen to hide your guilt! OATHBREAKER!” I whipped my rage into a frenzy. He doubled his assault against my senses, but I was nearly blind with rage. The Fallen Angel didn’t have to fall, to be exiled. He didn’t have to suffer the blight and the pain of removal. I remembered the night we met, when his suffering was so great, all he could do was howl to split the night. I remembered the way he cried when he touched me, thinking I would dissolve from the blight. The way he cried in relief when I not only didn’t fall apart, but showed him how to control it. He didn’t have to suffer. He didn’t have to leave. But this bastard used him and discarded him after. Betrayer. Oathbreaker. I will end you.
I felt the inherent glory of the Angelus armor activate. My physical sight was already blinded by the armor. My Sight was blinded by my own glory. I felt layers of other glory descend on me, not to bind me, but to augment me. I forgot myself. I only knew that my opponent had betrayed someone close to me, judgement had been pronounced on them, and I was the instrument of that judgement.
I heard pleading, but the words didn’t move me. Someone was calling on his brethren to rescue him. Calling out how his brethren could act against him. A calm voice responded, “You are being treated as you have treated others. You used your brother as a sword, we are using her. Your hands are clean. Our hands are clean. And hers are being most effective. Fitting, yes?”
It became too much. I burned within. More and more the glory poured into me. My instinct pushed me to seek safety. But where? I did not know myself, did not know where I was at, and did not know where to go. Under the weight of the forces, my mind shattered and I fled in different directions at once.
”I have you, friend.” I wanted to tell him that the blight made his wings glow in ultraviolet light. I wanted to tell him that when he’s not paying attention, he glows with his own glory. I wanted to tell him that he was beautiful and very little of him had changed from before his exile. Instead I remained limp in his arms while he used the glowing tattoo of Snake on my shoulders to guide us back to the lair.
I didn’t know they were branches until after I had broken a few in my fall. I didn’t know it was water until after I was below the surface. I didn’t know it was a bayou until the alligator lifted my head out of the water. I didn’t know anything further as the dark night turned black.
”My, what a pretty little bauble. Now why would a shard of a soul fall to my feet? Hmm?” The raspy voice was familiar, and comforting, and frightening, and reassuring. “My dear girl, what ever has happened to you? You’ve fallen to pieces!” I heard a crow calling and realized that was him laughing. I did not join in. “Hmm. This is serious. Weaver Many-Faces is scattered, and your edges are trimmed in glory. This stinks of angels. But they don’t have all of you. What comes to my hands is not surrendered easily, no not surrendered at all.”
I am being held up by my neck. My armored body is limp. “Her soul is broken. Four pieces. Only one remains in the armor, my lord.” Someone lifts my arm and releases it. “She makes herself useless and waits for us to discard her in disgust. A clever strategy. I can wait out a mortal’s patience.”
[At the lair…] Snake looks over my limp body. “She’s split again. You only have a fourth of her.” He lays me between him and the fire. “But that fourth is now here, and will call the other pieces to her in time. You do not have to remain here. She’ll pull herself together. This has happened before.”
”She endangered herself for my sake. The least I can do is hold vigilance.”
”As you wish.”
[At the terrace…] “You may not be able to move, but I know you are aware. The initial shock of your soul’s shattering has worn off and now you are seeking to use this to your advantage. I know where your other pieces are, and I am not concerned with the help you think you are accruing. I have a task of you, and I know you are able to perform it in this state. [The Fallen Angel]. Deliver him to me. The others will be hunted down in time, but I want [the Fallen Angel].” Brother Martial’s face peered into the visage of the helm. “You don’t need eyes to see here, mortal. Deliver him, or I shall see to it that you don’t have eyes on waking.”
[In the bayou…] I hear shouts coming closer. The splash of some things moving roughly through water. The shouting of several men. A flicker of light. I try to lift an arm but I’m exhausted. The alligator holding my head above water reminds me he is there by rumbling loudly. The shouts and splashing stop. Another gator rumbles nearby. “Caimon! Caimon!” “Ah! Gen li! Wit le caimon!” The splashing comes to me. All the nearby alligators leave except for the one holding me above water. “Hey! Lady! Boss sey, git the mulatto from de water. De caimon hold her.” Wet hands softly tapped my face. “You gon be okay. We take you to Boss, ya?” I tried to speak agreement, but all I could muster was a sighing ‘a’. They took that as a good sign and picked me up.
It was dead of night and the only light were the two flickering torches the men had brought with them. They showed no fear of darkness nor alligators. I noted a few things about them, and the conclusion these things led me to made me smile. I didn’t know what my other pieces were doing, but I was safe in the bayou.
[In the raspy man’s hands…] “Hey now, you have the most curious of scents on you. What game are you playing, dear Weaver? Do I have to go looking for the rest of you? You have no body here with me. You are manifesting as a broken gem. Think your responses. Words are unnecessary. Just think what you want to say to me. Now. Where are your other pieces?”
Two pieces are safe, one piece is with you, and the fourth is still with the angels.
“Angels? I thought you were done with them. And are you saying you are not safe with me?” Ha! I know better. I’m safer with you than with them though.
”And what do the angels want that makes me a safer companion than they?” With images and emotions I informed the raspy man of the events leading up to my breaking.
”Oh. Them. Tell me, Weaver. Even though you are only a gem in my hands, can you still move items between your shards? I know that is how you entangled yourself with that Roger fellow in the City. It’s been years, but can you do that now?” I don’t know. What do you want?
”The dead angel. The one you served ‘judgement’ to. If you can, that is, if you are capable, bring it to me.” I could hear the glee and grin in his voice. “I’ll be able to use it as… pressure… to obtain your release.” Sure. Why the hell not. It’s not like I’m risking a bout of mental instability already, so hold on tight. I’mma fuck up the day.
Brother Superior’s mangled body was already covered in traces of my glory. I didn’t need to touch his remains to have power over them. I ignored all else that was happening around my split selves and with a shudder, I deposited the angel’s remains at the feet of the raspy voiced man. I still didn’t recognize who was holding me in the form of a broken gem. I only knew that while I would go out of my way to deny the angels, denying him was a very bad action to take.
He started laughing again, jostling me in his palm. A talon scraped against the gem and by that touch, I knew him. Malphas. “Oh, ho! You are regaining your senses, I see. A formal greeting to you, Weaver.”
Shit. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Where ever you are. That I don’t know. It’s been a fucking day, okay. His laughter resumed. “Oh, no. You are not interrupting me. Not when you are delivering such a fine treat to me. Now, hold on. The angels are going to be very upset with you when they realize what you have done and who now holds their exiled brother. Things are going to be more uncomfortable for a while. But I shall keep my word to you. Have faith.”
[At the terrace…] “What have you done? Where is my brother!” Fire hotter than my heart is forced under the armor. I can’t scream.
[With Malphas…] “That was fast. Let me speak through you, my dear. I shall have a few words with these angels.” I yield to his grip on me. “Such toys that fall at my feet. As if Father hadn’t forgotten me after all. How delightful. Have you any more to send me?”
Brother Martial relaxes his torment as my mouth speaks Malphas’ words with his intonation and accent. “A demon. Not expected but not surprised. Return the angel, demon!”
”Return? Ha. I shall keep what is mine. This gem is flawed and broken. You can keep that. I just wanted to express my deepest gratitude for this fine toy. It would seem there is still life in him. Of course, it takes more than a mere mortal to kill an angel. Though she has done considerable damage. But nothing a few centuries of care can’t fix. In the mean time, I shall delight in picking what’s left of his head.”
”I shall sear this human’s soul and seal the ashes in the Abyss!”
”It’s the soul of a twentieth century human. And a non-white American at that. You’re a little late for crushing her soul. There’s only bitterness under that flesh. No, you can keep that. I’m keeping the angel.”
Brother Martial yelled in frustration and threw my body off the terrace in his tantrum. As my body spun, I was able to watch his face as he realized what Malphas had successfully accomplished. Six wings extended as he lept after me to regain control over the only bargaining chip on the table.
Malphas used his grip on my gem to call the discarded body to him. He quickly merged the gem with my flesh, and held the combined half of my mind upright. It took me a few seconds to gather my footing, but I was able to stand. Once I no longer needed his help, Malphas bent over the surprising twitching body of Brother Superior. He pinched the angel’s body and with a flick of the wrist, converted the body into a small trinket that he attached to a small chain.
”I must thank you for the entertainment and the toy, dear Weaver. Working with you is always so interesting. I never know what is going to fall into my hands when you’re involved.” He laughed in the manner of corvids. I just shook my head and smiled. “Now then, I promised I would obtain your release from them, and now here you are, free of their grip! However, they now know where you are. If you leave under your own power, you might be caught again.” My smile faded. His sharpened.
He kicked at the ground under me and I fell through a sudden crack in the earth.
I woke up with a jerk in a dark room. I smell the unique scent of swamp water. An alligator rumbles nearby. The sound comforts me and I don’t understand why at first. Heavy cigar smoke hangs over me. I hear the smoker taking a toke and see the bright cherry of the burning cigar.
”You know, girl, you’re a right proper pain in the ass.” I couldn’t tell if he was tired, amused, or both. “Now how did you wind up with angel shit again? You know they are a pain in the ass, and yet you go every time they call. There’s a northern word for you, girl. Masochist.”
I chuckled and turned to get comfortable under the sheet. “Yea. Well… Have you seen the rates for professional doms? At least this way, there’s no physical repercussions.”
Cigar smoke coiled down over my shoulders, playing tag with Snake’s tattoo mark. “Not yet, anyways.”
I heard the warning, and acknowledged it. “No. Not yet.”
I wanted to ask about the men that found me, but my benefactor cut me off. “You might have a game to host later. I suggest getting some rest while you can. It’s going to be a while before you’re all back in one piece. I suggest remaining as such for a while. You have other duties to attend to.”
I knew of what he spoke, and knew this was not the time for snark. “Yes, Sir.”
My body shuddered as I woke at the lair. I could tell my body was burned and weeping from head to toe. I hurt. I hurt everywhere. Inside and outside. “See. She’s whole.” Snake. I can hear him. He sounds like he’s in front of my face, but I can’t see.
”Her eyes. No, I did not want her harmed…” The Fallen Angel. I can hear his voice breaking. I start to panic as I remember Brother Martial’s threats.
”It happens. Even with the armor, no mortal can carry that kind of glory for long. They’ll grow back before night.” Whew. In the mean time, I’ll just itch like mad as my body heals.
”But… how? My eyes didn’t grow back. And also, she’s not holy. So… how?”
I wanted to hear the answer to the question. The theory and exposition would help distract me from the annoyances of the healing processes. “Wait. I’m going to put her in a deeper sleep so the itching won’t bother her.” No! Wait! I want the answer, too!
I wake up in my bed with a headache centered around my eyes. Fine. I’ll just have to wait until tonight.