No difficulties with setting up for my obligation though I did have thoughts of a figure I regard as a “personal saint” intruding throughout the meditation. I’m not sure what to make of it at this time. I will note that he, too, has said that he has never stopped praying for me.
No difficulties with setting up for the summoning to follow. This time I added some water with the cedarwood oil to keep it from immediately overheating and splattering the card. Once I spoke the actual summoning words, my thoughts started chasing themselves and I had great difficulty just keeping the task in mind.
«[The personal saint] comes to your thoughts not from chance. Later, write down these thoughts of him and examine them for evidence of unfinished business and acts yet to be placed into motion.»
[Patient Caller’s] “voice” settled the maelstrom and I felt as if a boundary has just pushed all intruding thoughts away from me.
«Tell me, why did you summon me?»
“To help me deal with disturbing news, cope with the consequences, and to help me move forward after.”
The act of clasping his hands gave me something to look at.
«You used a lot of unnecessary words to describe surviving.»
“Well, yea. Now that I know what surviving looks like.”
He nodded. His face continues to be hidden by a hood. «Continue your prayers and your meditations.»
The ring glistened. I could almost hear a ringing tone as glowed with a light of its own.
«We will end at the beginning. Tell me, do you wish to continue your lessons after you survive this month?»
I wasn’t angry or even annoyed by the snark. It was a fair question. At the beginning of this month, I wasn’t sure I would survive to this day, so deep was the pain that was shredding me.
«Obtain the ring when you are able. Do not despair if you are unable to do so immediately. Some lessons will not require it.»
He raised his right hand and made the sign of the cross over me.
«Go now in peace.»
He lowered his head and clasped his hands close to his chest. The cedarwood bowl appeared between us, smoking with incense that burned but was not consumed. I accepted that the audience was over, spoke the license to depart, and ended the ritual.
realizing I had recovered the will to live: 7 minutes.