According to my much revised schedule, I should have had at least four sigils entered into the mini-book and much more dramatic effects to report by now. Instead I have three sigils entered, and I find myself consciously bucking the most active of them.
I’m still marking the effort as a success even though there are four more days left to observe and record.
I have to remind myself that not only is magic not always flashy, intense, or dramatic, but that magic is often an attempt to do something contrary to what is considered normal, regular, and expected.
That’s not consoling me much today.
The time-management seal is making it very clear that not only do I suck at prioritizing work, but that my job’s absolute lack of boundaries (and coworker’s respect) means I’m at the mercy of whoever wants to come into my office and complain about things I am unable to help them with.
The SATOR Square’s assistance with fear helps me face the suddenly restructured aftermath of the day without collapsing into a puddle of anxiety but its passive nature is doing nothing to prevent it.
The shoal sigil, now (re)made physical form, is a gentle influence that is hardly noticed after the coffee is gone when my office is invaded and my productivity is hijacked.
I would love to throw more magic at the problem but it all feels like I’m just putting occult themed bandages on a deep and painful sore.
It’s going to take more than pretty lines in a folded paper to fix this one. And I have no idea how to start.