Summary of my experiences these past couple of weeks:
Shit’s different.
But the primary difference is not one of substance, but perception. I’m not as I was. I don’t see as I did. So things that went over my head before are now in my hand. And things that were in my hand before are now discarded.
I have been trying to gain access to a certain place according to the rules as I knew them then. I keep walking in circles, coming across my footsteps again and again.
When all I had to do is come to a stop and look over my left shoulder. If I look over my right shoulder (with my “dead” eye), I see nothing of note. If I look forward, I see nothing of note. If I look over my left shoulder (with my “good” eye), there he is, waiting patiently behind me a respectable distance.
Each time I look at him, the clouded eye becomes stone and ceases functioning. He now affects the right hand as well, but I’m not ready to speak of that change just yet. (If at all.)
If he did not want to grant me entry, no ritual, demand, or payment would coerce him to do so. Now that I know the way, he waits. He knows I’ll come to him. God damn fandom or not.